Now this is cuffin’ at its best!

It’s Cuffin’ Season people!!!

Cuffin’ Season – Running from the Tuesday after Labor Day until first day of Spring, it’s the time when people shack up with a person just for the purposes of not being lonely in the colder months. Furlough days of Cuffin’ Season include; Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and birthdays. (Not everybody gets birthdays off though so check with your “Cuffee.”)

I’m going to do a few themed posts for Cuffin’ Season to provide some tips to both sexes about how to carry yourselves at a time like this. It’s confusing for all involved, even men struggle with knowing what’s allowed and what’s not allowed. Regardless of the rules, there are things like etiquette that should always be kept in mind. Today, let’s talk about phone etiquette, mainly texting. Nobody really has problems with talking on the phone anymore. In high school, you stayed on the phone for hours, maybe even fell asleep on the phone. These days, if you don’t have anything to talk about, you get off the phone and go on with your daily routine.

Been a while since we’ve had a Carver The Great mix, but this one is a specially themed mix called, “Cuffin’ Season.” Enjoy.

Let’s get this out of the way early in the article so that I’m not teased about it later. I confess, I still have a BlackBerry. No, it’s not a new BlackBerry, it’s actually a BlackBerry Storm 2. We’ve come a long way from the days of BlackBerry Messenger. Many of us remember the days when you glanced at your phone for minutes trying to figure out how to avoid turning a ‘D’ into an ‘R.’ (If you’ve never been through this before, BlackBerry Messenger basically had read receipts.) Anyway, things is different nowadays, our challenges are greater. Here are ten tips to improve your phone texting etiquette…

  1. No Country For Repeat Text Offenders – There should be a registry for those of you who insist on sending multiple texts without receiving a response. “They’ll respond when they get them” is not a valid reason to leave a dissertation in their inbox.
  2. Be consistent or risk getting your nuts chopped off – Let me tell you where most people run into trouble, they don’t know how to maintain their performance with text messages. If you typically reply to texts in a few minutes, but now it’s like midnight on a Saturday and you reply every few hours, something’s up. People peep when you’re with them if your phone is always in your hand, but when you’re not, you can’t reply to a text in a timely fashion.
  3. Ask how the person communicates up front – If the person you’re attempting to cuff does not like talking via text, you’ll have to adjust to the game. It’s best to ask this question explicitly. For some strange reason, not a lot of people will just come right out and tell you that they hate text messaging.
  4. Nobody checks Voicemail – Don’t leave voicemails. People only check voicemails when the box is full.
  5. Rehearse your “I’m busy” text message – A few of us, (mainly guys), get in trouble for ignoring text messages for hours when we’re simply just busy. However, “I’m busy” sounds rude. What I’ve learned is that a carefully constructed text message can go a long way. Try, “Hey, I can’t really text right now; let me hit you back later.”
  6. Don’t be that girl and don’t be that guy – Just because it hits you in the middle of the night, does not mean you have the right to text a guy your epiphany in the middle of the night. I think I speak for all those who’ve ever been awaken by text messages between the hours of “when I went to sleep for work tomorrow” and “when I was supposed to get up for work” when I say, that ish is NOT cool.
  7. Don’t say anything deep or important via text – You really shouldn’t be talking about your feelings or where things are going via text. If you’re in the middle of an argument, you shouldn’t do that via text, either. Important announcements and questions are out of order too; you don’t want to risk an undelivered text message containing pertinent information.
  8. One word replies are the cousins of death – You can reply, “OK” or “Ha” to a text with more than a sentence if you want, but don’t get mad when you wind up on the sh*t list.
  9. If they stop returning your texts, they probably want you to go away – Every woman has a story about a guy who texts her and she never responds, but he won’t stop texting. If someone won’t reply to your texts, like in a long time… it’s a sign, GO AWAY.
  10. Drunk texts can only be deleted off your phone, not theirs. Aspire for greatness, make each one legendary – Not a lot of people recommend drunk texting. To keep it 100, I really don’t think anyone should do it either… but if you must, be awesome. I typically have enough peace of mind to tell myself, “Jay, if Lindsay Lohan could see you right now, she’d be proud of you… which means stop drinking and put your phone away.” However, when I don’t, I go IINNN! I write my drunk texts at a minimum NC-17 rating, sometimes a high-end adult film.

I’m joking, I’m just serious.

Hey guys, but on the real, I hope everybody had a great week. It’s been a long one and we’re almost to our next holiday. If you’re in DC, it’s CBC weekend and it’s about to get live. It’s actually the perfect time to cuff something. For all those who have been cuffed or will be cuffed shortly, godspeed. Dr. J is over and out. Peace.

– Dr. J

Tracklist: 1. Guy – Let’s Chill, 2. Bobby Brown – Roni, 3. Janet Jackson – Funny How Time Flies, 4. Maxwell – This Woman’s Work, 5. Jodeci – Stay, 6. H-Town – Knockin Boots, 7. Beyonce – Dance For You, 8. Jodeci – Feenin, 9. Keith Sweat – Nobody, 10. Trey Songz – Dive In, 11. Pleasure P – Under, 12. Jeremih – I Like, 13. Janet Jackson – Any Time, Any Place