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It’s no secret around these parts that i’m a fan of the strip club. I’ve definitely given out a healthy serving of a round of applause on many of nights here in DC and across the country. People always ask me to write about the strip club and relationships — like all the time. I always hesitate because I understand that just because it’s not a big deal to me, doesn’t mean there aren’t some women out there who find it offensive and disrespectful to their relationship. In my latest on MadameNoire, I decided to share some thoughts:

Straight From His Mouth: Is The Strip Club Really A Big Deal?

Some time ago I found myself in a conversation with a group of women about men and their obsession with strip clubs. Up until a few years ago, strip clubs were a dirty, stinky, and smoky place where men congregated to stare at women in the nude while tipping single dollar bills each song. Then something strange happened, it went from being about a secret hideaway for men to exercise their right to lurk, to being about “tip drilling” and “making it rain.” That’s right, the strip club became a place to not only have fun, but to have out in the open fun almost as if you were in a nightclub. It wasn’t short after this that women decided it was time for them to get involved in the fun too. If you go to any popular strip club in a major city these days, you’re likely to see not only men partaking but women too.

But what about the women who still aren’t comfortable going to the strip club, or aren’t warmed up to the idea of their boyfriend frequenting the place either? I’m not sure. I’m not sure if it’s a big deal or it’s a sign of a woman being a little overbearing. Inevitably it comes down to a few things: how much you trust your man and what lets you sleep at night.

In defense of women everywhere, let me start off by saying a few things to the guys. If you are the type of man who goes to the strip club to cop a feel and get your rocks off to the dancers, your girlfriend has every right to not want you to go. She may not exercise that right, but she has a right to. So here’s my thought for you ladies, you shouldn’t be dating a guy who tries to get his rocks off to someone other than you. That’s just nonsensical.

However, there are a bunch of men who go to the strip club just for the show. They don’t really take anything away from it, but just that — a show. They’re not gawking over the women, they’re not lusting after them like pieces of meat, and they aren’t spending any of the rent money on toe touching. Personally, I’m a bit of a strip club connoisseur – I tend to often go to strip clubs in my area. I have been in and out of relationships during my time at strip clubs, but I always make it clear to the women I’m dating what happens when I go to strip clubs.

Read the rest here.

What are your thoughts on the topic? Do you think it’s okay for a guy to frequent the strip club? If so, what are the rules that you have for him? For the fellas, what rules do you have for yourself? Also, without incriminating yourselves, what are some things you’ve seen men do in the strip club that is a complete foul on the play?

See Also:  SBM Asks: Why are more women unfaithful?

Dr. J