Let’s take a quick look at what transpired at the 2013 Grammy Awards last night — here’s a quick list of 10 observations that stood out to me:
1. Whatever in holy hell Frank Ocean was talking about during his acceptance speech had most of America like, “Is Frank Ocean getting ready to put down an offer on Neverland Ranch?”
2. Ryan Seacrest lacks the male urge of “Damn look at those t*tties!” … but Ellen doesn’t.
3. What the hell was Rihanna talking about at the end of her red carpet interview?
Go to 1: 45
4. How come nobody told me the Oompa Loompas had a clothing line?
5. Can we all please stop giving Kelly Rowland 93-octane premium gas when it is clear that 87-octane regular ass gas will do just fine?
I’m sorry, [rant starting], I just don’t see it. It’s not that I’m a hater, or a Beyonce stan, or have complexion issues. Kelly Rowland looks like girls I see every day on the street, the train, the bus, in a broke down 94 Ford Escort. She is not all that. She’s pretty, fine – so are a lot of women. (Not for nothing she did her own nails last night on the way to the Grammys.)