On April 9, the year of our lord, 2013, my wife gave birth to our very first child. Camden was born at 3:21 pm and at that very moment I crossed the threshold from being an expectant father, to being a parent. Now that I’m a parent, I can look back on the things I learned as Mrs. Most and I went through the whole pregnancy process with the 20/20 vision hindsight tends to provide. And since this is a blog – it’s only right that I share some of those things with you. Consider this post a sort of ‘What To Expect When You’re Expecting’… SBM Style.

Let’s jump right in…

Say it with me baby... "We In Charge..."

Say it with me baby… “We In Charge…”

5. Ignore Folks Who Tell You That Pregnancy Is Not About You.

I can’t tell you how many times I had people tell me that pregnancy is not about me, and that I should just throw all of my thoughts, opinions, and desires to the side as it related to our baby. The general perception seems to be that, because like 99% the actual biology of baby making occurs inside a woman’s body, that means that men have absolutely no say, whatsoever in anything that happens along the way from little stuff like picking the hue of blue or pink for the child’s room to bigger stuff like picking the child’s name. (Let me pause for a moment and state for the record that I’m not talking about a Woman’s Right To Choose here, because that, I fully support). If you’re a hands-on kinda guy as I am, you’re not really going to do well with being told your thoughts and opinions on a child you’ll spend the next 18 years of your life supporting, a child born into a relationship of which your 50% of, are irrelevant.

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Instead, from the beginning, approach everything as “we”. Don’t say, “my wife is pregnant,” or “my wife is having a baby,” instead say, “my wife and I are expecting a child.” Approaching everything as “we” from the beginning does mean that you’re taking on more responsibility –  but it also means that you’ll have a larger say in how everything transpires. This is important because, down the line, big decisions will have to be made and you don’t want 100% of the mental energy and research it takes to make some of those decisions to fall squarely on the shoulders of your 7 or 8 month pregnant woman. You need her to trust that you’ve been paying attention the entire time and that you’re as prepared as you can possibly be. Trust me.

Could be the best doc in the world... but if this is the hospital? Chill.

Could be the best doc in the world… but if this is the hospital? Chill.

4.Choose Your Hospital Over Your Doctor.

Chances are, your lady has an OBGYN that she’s been going to for sometime. That OBGYN is probably who you guys saw when you went to find out if that EPT test was accurate, and your lady probably feels very comfortable with her. Thing is, every OBGYN is affiliated with a particular hospital and while your lady’s OBGYN might be awesome, the hospital she’s affiliated with might be not so great. Decisions Decisions. Do you chose to have your baby with the doctor you’re comfy with even if you don’t like the hospital, or do you chose to find a new doctor that’s affiliated with a hospital you feel good about. I would encourage your woman to do the latter for a couple of reasons. First, there’s a good chance that the OBGYN you’ve been seeing ain’t gonna be the one that delivers your baby. You can’t predict when you guys are going to go into labor and when you do go into labor, the doctor that delivers is going to be whatever doctor is on call. So you’ll have a strange doctor at a hospital you hate. Double negative. Second, it’s better to go with the hospital because honestly, the difference in OBGYN care is was less significant than the difference in care from hospital to hospital. It’s not your OBGYN that you’ll spend the bulk of your time with, it’s the nurses, the doctors on call, and the rest of the hospital staff that will make or break your birthing experience. Encourage your lady to choose based on hospital. Trust me.

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Head on over the page 2 to read reasons 3,2 and 1… they’re worth it.