Honesty is the Best (And Easiest) Policy

I’m sure a number of women (and some male) readers are waiting for me to tell Taylor to change. To “shape up” and stop taking “advantage” of women, and that the path he’s on has no future. Sorry, I don’t have such a message to deliver.

In my opinion, it’s not Taylor’s job to change who he is to protect women from men like him before he’s ready to change on his own. Women should be able to recognize what type of man Taylor is and if he is not the type of man they want, they should leave him alone. If I have a daughter, I hope I am able to educate her enough, provide her with the necessary life-tools, and give her the self-esteem needed to avoid men like Taylor. However, man to man, I would ask Taylor and men like him one simple favor, don’t lie to women.

I’m not asking young men not to lie, because it’s the right thing to do. I’m telling you not to lie, because you don’t have to and women have the right to know what type of men they’re dealing with upfront. If your game, looks, charm or other is as appealing as many of you seem to believe, then you should never have to lie to a woman to get her to sleep with you, be with your, or entertain your company, ever. After finding out all there is to know about you, it’s up to the woman to decide how they want to proceed or if they want to proceed at all (and for the record if they’re smart, they will not). In his comment, Taylor was honest about his intentions, goals, and plans. I hope he affords the women he’s dealing with the same courtesy.

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A Closing Message to Young Men Like Taylor

I think women would be surprised to know how many young men think and act like Taylor. I decided to share this comment so women could see the unfiltered thinking from a man with this type of mindset. Perhaps what’s most troubling about Taylor’s comment is the fact that Taylor and men like him don’t have to change. No one wants to admit it, but that’s the truth of the matter. Taylor, you don’t have to change anything you’re doing, but you should want to change because changing how you act towards and perceive women will make you a better man. You may be born a male, but you aren’t born a man. Men are made over time.

The number of women you randomly hook up with won’t net you any awards. You won’t be able to list it on your resume and it’ll never, outside of [adult films], help you get a job or job promotion. Sleeping with women with low self-esteem and questionable taste in men doesn’t make you a better man or a God among mortals. It honestly just makes you a womanizing @sshole, and I would hope you would want to be more than a womanizing @sshole. By the way, I say that with all due respect, as some men’s entire life revolves around being successful, womanizing @ssholes. Taylor, I’m asking that you aspire for more than that for yourself and from life.

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The more difficult and therefore less traveled path is to respect all women, and faithfully honor one woman. On some level – reading between the lines of your comment – you seem to know this is true. Ironically, it’s far easier to bed multiple women and involve yourself in relationships in which you don’t have any real physical, mental, or emotional interest vested in the final outcome than it is to put in the work necessary to make a real relationship with one woman work. Honestly, relationships are difficult. That’s why I can understand why you, and men like you, would prefer to take the easier route while you focus on other goals with more clear-cut plans and objectives. However, in continuing on the path that you’re on now you will hurt a number of women. Even if you don’t mean to; it’s inevitable. In your wake, there will be a path of emotionally and physically wrecked women. As a man, you need to own that responsibility. You need to have the personal accountability to recognize how your actions will hurt these women while you, selfishly and knowingly, figure out what you want from life and which particular woman you want it from.

I know the idea that being a man entails taking ownership, leadership, and responsibility for people outside of yourself sucks. It might even be unfair. But guess what? It is what it is.

Taylor, you might not be old enough to recognize this reality. You might not even be old enough to accept this reality, but I assure you it does not make this fact of life any less of a reality. As a man, one day you will have to accept the responsibility of how your actions impact not only yourself but those around you, especially women. There are many men, young and old, who will fall short of embracing what it really means to be a man. Taylor, you seem to have the ability, if you choose, to step up and be a better man tomorrow than you were today. One day, I hope you – and men like you – make the choice to be the men you need to be over the men you want to be. I won’t lie to you. It won’t be easy, but it can be done. If you ever want to be the type of man I spoke of earlier – the type your son should aspire to be and your daughter should aspire to date – you’ll have to become a better man sooner rather than later. Like all things, the choice is yours.

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Good luck on your journey, Taylor.


Ladies, have you ever dated a “Taylor”? If yes, what did you learn from the experience? If no, how did you avoid the Taylors of the world?

Gentlemen, where you ever a “Taylor” in your 20s? If still in your 20s, can you relate to Taylor’s plight? What has/will inspire you  to make a change?

Ladies and gentlemen, what additional advice, suggestions, or warnings would you offer “Taylor” or the Taylor-like men of the world? What would you tell young women about the Taylors of the world?