Today, I’m really interested in getting to know you all. I’d like to know in the realm of relationships, where does experience matter to you? Experience in general has it’s purpose and is very important. Today’s piece is all about the pros and cons of experience, or lack thereof. How does this play into our lives?


Experience :

Some people may prefer dating a person who has had experience with dating in general. Having had those experiences the hope is that you both are better prepared. You all can utilize past experiences to help when you have problems with one another. The knowledge you gain from having had past boyfriends or girlfriends are immense. I would hope you could pick up things like when someone doesn’t want to be bothered. Sometimes people might just need their space. When you have experience you can hopefully make life easier for your partner. There’s some things that may happen that you won’t sweat. With experience you you simply see everything through a different lens. The ultimate hope I think is that there is less insecurity on both sides.

Lack of experience:

If someone is in a relationship and they don’t have much experience dating someone, it might be pretty annoying. Inexperienced people might make big deals of things you might find rather trivial. It’s possible that someone with less experience needs more reassuring about where they stand with you. Inexperienced people can also sometimes just be oblivious to certain things. It’s either your job to be reassuring and patient or not.

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Some people need a partner with substantial sexual experience. This doesn’t mean they had to have been with many people (not that it matters). What it does mean is that this person might satisfy you how you’d like with a shorter “learning curve.” Some people need that. There’s people that want their world rocked from jump street and timid isn’t in their vocabulary.

Lack of experience:

A lack of sexual experience I would say is a required taste. If your partner isn’t as experienced and is more close minded then you might have a rough time. My advice in this situation is to have great communication. You also have to have a boatload of patience. A lot of understanding goes into being with someone who isn’t as experienced as you may be. There may be nights where you just didn’t get your lights knocked out. Know that reality before you even get to that point.

As for me, I don’t think I have a high enough threshold of patience to deal with inexperience. I know this about myself. I try to pursue people who are like minded in areas that matter much to me. I know that a woman I’m with has to be comfortable giving me my space. She also has to be secure enough in herself to know her importance to me. Having said that, it would be my job to make sure she knows often enough that she means something to me. As for sex, I know I’d prefer someone that is open minded and experienced. That’s just my preference, I don’t do well with reserved people; I’m an extrovert.

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Experience is a topic I don’t think is talked about enough. Experience or lack thereof may dictate so much about how you navigate the dating scene. What are you willing to put up with?  How high do you prioritize the amount of experience your partner should have? I’m interested to hear your thoughts and stories.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM. His bio: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS 

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