Sometimes you want to make a running dash from the friend zone to the end-zone. You’ve been great pals, but you’ve began to develop feelings and want to see if anything romantic is actually there. Here’s some advice to a reader from The Frisky on how to become lovers:
“I’ve been spending a lot of time with one of my guy friends. I’m starting to have feelings for him, and suspect he might have feelings for me too. How do I know for sure that he’s feeling something more than friendship and how do I go about bringing up the subject without being too weird?”
My first instinct was: “Ask him out, you chicken.” But that’s a mistake. When a man successfully asks a girl out, it’s the greatest he ever feels. The birth of his first child will be a huge disappointment in comparison. Like “Matrix: Reloaded.” Success with women is a male emotional speedball. Imagine how good River Phoenix felt right before the end. It feels THAT good. So you cannot deny him this. Plus, his emotional overdose is fuel for the rest of the relationship. Let him ride the dragon and he’ll chase it all the way up the aisle.
But right now, he’s being a wuss, because all men hate rejection. Make it easy. Don’t bring up the subject at all. Get a BACK CHANNEL. Invite a close female friend over for a low-stakes hangout. Ask her to spell it out to him when you go to the bathroom: “She has a huge crush on you. Just ask her out. Or better yet, kiss her then ask her out.”
Then give it a week.
If he asks you out? Fantastic. You’re at the races.
If he doesn’t? Here’s the hard part:
If he doesn’t? Here’s the hard part: it’s the end. You can’t hang out with him any more. Period. Be polite about it. You don’t have to say: “I can’t hang out because I like you too much.” But you must always have other plans.
This is why. He has one of two problems…
[Read more here]
i dont agree with not being friends at all, its selfish. If i’m your friend, im your friend theres a difference between misleading and simply being the type of guy you would wanna date. I’m just over the whole “friend zone” narrative, its a sense of entitlement, i dont have to like everyone who likes me.
I agree, I consider myself a big fan of the romantic relationship that develops from a deep friendship and you will be no exception. That said, there is a risk to cross the scholarship for romantic couples.
For one thing, your fiancee may not require friendship to switch. He may love you as a friend, but do not have feelings that run deeper.
Finally, some couples make from friends to lovers greater.