women vs men

The Bachelor

His Motto: “Let’s see where things go…”

Choosing to be picky is not the same as choosing to be impractical. The Bachelor is a random guy, over the age of 18, minding his business, contributing moderately to society, paying taxes and not breaking the law. The Bachelor doesn’t mean to inflict any harm on anyone or society at large. However, through no real fault of his own, he will inevitably cause someone, somewhere pain and heartbreak. This is dictated by the fact that after a certain age The Bachelor will reach an emotional and societal conundrum because he chooses not to follow the progressive expectation that society ascribes to everyone, including men. The Bachelor’s only real crime is deciding that women are good enough to date temporarily, but no one woman is good enough to (legally) commit to indefinitely. Frankly, no one likes rejection. Whether he realizes it or not, The Bachelor’s life-choices inherently reject societal expectations. Society expects men to eventually “grow up,” which society – and the women living in society – define through the evidence of commitment at the alter, even if a man doesn’t personally connect his personal growth to whether or not he ever gets married.

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Commenter Uncle Hugh offered the following succinct outline of The Bachelor lifestyle:

The topic is “Do Men Feel The Pressure of Marriage As They Age.” There are comments about pushing 40 still trying to be about that life, dealing with the headache of multiple women, free booty and dying alone. This implies that all unmarried men are out there wh0ring it up with every woman they can.

Many single men are in committed relationships or looking for them. Some men are in extremely long term relationships where they are settled down with one woman, but don’t want to go through the legal hurdles of getting married. And some men plan on getting married, but not at the current time (and that doesn’t mean they plan to get serious after they turn 60).

My point is there’s a median between being married and sleeping with every woman a man can find. Most men are somewhere in that median.

That “median” Hugh is referring to is called bachelorhood aka the bachelor lifestyle aka when are you going to settle down aka why are you too good to marry a woman based on a timeline she will happily dictate for you.

The Husband/Father

His Motto: “Whatever it takes…”

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Unlike The Self-Centered Asshole, sometimes The Husband has to apologize even when he knows he’s right. This means sometimes The Husband has to find strength in humbleness. All of his choices and many of his sacrifices should be made for the greater good of the relationship and/or the family. The Husband must be part philosopher, preacher, philanthropist, negotiator, leader and follower. Most importantly, he must know which of these roles he must seamlessly transition to at any given time. The role of The Husband is a lot like that of a premier sports team. When the team is winning, the money is good, and the victories are plentiful, everyone exalts his decision making without question. When the team is losing, the money is bad, and the losses are abundant–arguably when he needs the support of his bandwagon the most–his decision making is questioned. At worst, all those who supported him when times were good might outright abandon him. The are many merits to becoming The Husband/Father prototype. Arguably, these merits far outweigh the cons, but there is no arguing the fact that it is one of the most difficult roles to occupy. The pressure to succeed is constant and the accolades during success may not arrive as frequently as the complaints during failures. It’s no wonder so many men choose not to be a husband/father when so many other less trying and less expectant roles are readily available.

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Are men capable of occupying multi-personality types based on circumstances or the woman they’re dealing with or is one dominant personality type the default? What types are missing from the list based on your own personal experiences or past relationships?