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Stush– (adj) “Conceited, superior, having an air of bitchy hauteur particularly with regard to personal appearance – but with good reason.”

Source: Urban Dictionary

I don’t take for granted that most people who read this site are familiar with Caribbean lingo. Stush is a term used in the West Indian circle. In the shadow of this past Labor Day weekend, I thought it would be fitting to share a funny story with you all.

A couple weeks ago, I went to a going away BBQ for an old classmate of mine. At this BBQ there was great music and great food. To top it all off, there were a couple good looking ladies there as well. So there was a point where this lady was dancing and whining up real crazy. I mean shorty was dropping it. This leads the DJ to leave his corner and try and catch a dub dance with this young lady. Now after all this gyration this lady was doing on her own she starts acting funny style with dude. It’s at that moment in which my boy angrily says “I can’t stand when girls do that yo!” I chuckled at him cause his frustration was so genuine. I told him I could dig it.

Today, I want to start a discussion with you all about why this happens. All I can do is give you a male point of view. I implore all you ladies to leave your two cents here today. As a man, I recognize and accept that women obviously can choose who they want to dance with. I’m not writing today to beef with that at all. I just would like you all to just feel us fellas for a few.

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Understand that we heterosexual men don’t come to clubs or parties to stand in our own circles to dance with each other. We come to parties to boogie with y’all ladies. Everything about the nightlife is catered to women. I personally don’t have any problem with a woman not wanting to dance, generally speaking. I think the main problem guys have is a woman who basically dances on her own and entices a guy to ask her to dance. But, when a guy asks for a dub dance, she catches a crazy attitude or acts stush. It just comes off as wrong.

These events lead guys to wonder “why the f*ck did she come to the club in the first place?” I think that frustration, at the very least, is warranted. The only way these qualms are negated to me is if a guy asks for a dance and he isn’t respectful in the way he goes about doing it. If he’s been a gentleman in his approach, then there’s no need to give attitude. There’s no room for stush gyal inna di club women in the club. It throws the whole vibe off.

For my ladies, do you all go to the club sometimes with the mindset not to dance? If so, why? Have you ladies ever been stush? And am I being insensitive?

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Fellas, has a woman ever acted stush with you? Let’s speak on it.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS 

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