You have your suspicions and that phone of his is staring up at you from the side table next to the bed. It’s practically screaming your name vying to get your attention. You stare in its direction for far too long then your good sense kicks in and you ask yourself, do I really want to snoop in his phone?

This is where things can get tricky. You need to make sure that you are real with yourself. The minute that you decide to sneak around and riffle through your partner’s cell phone you are making a statement. You don’t have trust in your relationship—at least not on your end.

When you decide to embark on a search and seizure mission you have to be emotionally prepared for what you may find. One morning I went looking and I found exactly what I was looking for, signs of deception. Our relationship was rocky and admittedly on its last leg. I wanted it to be right but we had gone through so many ups and downs that I was barely hanging on. He was running late for work and he’d left his gym bag in the backseat of his car. I volunteered to grab it for him.

As if a sign from the universe, on queue, as I slid into the driver side the cell phone that I didn’t know was in his car chimed. Naturally I picked it up from the center console. As I held this treasure of information in my hand I looked at the screen.  I couldn’t resist. It was almost as though he wanted me to look through his phone because it wasn’t locked! My palms were starting to sweat and I was petrified of being found out but I scrolled fast and managed to speed read through kinky message exchanges with “Veronica,” emails with some other chick and the line that caught my attention and dropped my jaw, “I couldn’t do it, I’m going to keep my baby.”

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Pause, baby! On that note, I was done.  I needed that final slap of reality to make me walk. My mission was complete but I sat in a daze with the doors closed and the windows rolled up on a warm sunny morning. Sweat began to form on my face but my hands felt too numb to reach and wipe the moisture away.

Out of the eerie silence there was a jarring tap on the window. My heart thumped and the phone fell into my lap.  I was scared to look in the direction of the noise. I’m busted! Dang it! I tried to channel my inner gangsta before turning to face him and his lies. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and turned with rage. I was ready for war. I flung the door open and almost knocked down the little old lady in her moo moo. She’d hopped out of her dark blue Buick in the hopes of having found a spot to move her car for street sweeping. I frantically apologized and explained that I wasn’t leaving. I ran back to the apartment to face my liar.

If you go looking then you and your heart better be ready. So when should you go looking through your partner’s phone…when you are ready to walk away. If you find the evidence of an unfaithful partner, which is what you were looking for, right? You better be ready to call it quits in my opinion. If not, what are you searching for? If you are not ready to take action then why put yourself through the torture of snooping, finding something out, then getting upset and confronting your partner only to end up right where you started…not trusting that person. Oh, and I guarantee given what you learned the first time around, if you don’t peace out, you will be snooping again real soon.

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Ahyiana Angel is a Cali girl who has turned the Manhattan streets into her playground. This sassy storyteller—a former sports entertainment publicist at the National Basketball Association (NBA)—is anticipating the release of her first novel where the underlying themes deal with relationships, dating in New York, and deception. Angel is the creator of the salacious and popular blog Life According to Her.

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