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For those of you still suffering in a perpetual state of friend zone purgatory, here’s a few ways to break the funk-

1. Improve Yourself
Sexual attraction is somewhat cruel in how much it focuses on physical appearance while ignoring your many other qualities, like how good of a coder you might be or how organized your teddy bear collection is. But it’s a fact of life, and one of the most common pieces of advice for navigating a friend zone is to simply make yourself better looking. By disguising yourself as a more attractive person…

2. Play Hard to Get
Another thing that makes us look attractive is how other people treat us. If you perceive that someone is cool, popular, and attractive to others, you are almost certainly going to find them more attractive yourself. The idea behind this tip, then, is that by flirting with other people (successfully), you’ll make yourself look more attractive. This is theorized to also make your friend feel competitive; if they believe you’re spending every waking moment imagining someone else covered in rose petals, they might suddenly develop the urge to buy some rose petals themselves.

3. Use Verbal Cues to Imply They’re the Ones Seducing You
This technique works by you saying several small, clever things that plant the idea that your friend is the one who likes you, and you simply thought you were just friends, but now they’re starting to win you over. And by doing this, and just wanting it to work so bad, it will somehow actually work. It’s basically the Jedi mind trick of pick-up artists and has at the very minimum given me a lot of great ideas for my next piece of Star Wars fan fiction.

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4. Stop Being Nice
The dating advice world is practically drowning in advice for “nice guys.” These are dudes who self-identify as “nice” (and not much else) and conclude that their lack of romantic success is related to their niceness (and not the fact that they’re not much else).

[Read this funny article in it’s entirety]