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I’ve been compiling this list of reasons to breakup with a person that while they may seem absolutely silly is actually telling of deeper and relevant information for a relationship. You may be thinking well if it’s silly how could it be any deeper than you found a reason early on to flee the scene before a crime was committed. Well the reason you flee early is because the breakups over really serious reasons are much harder to walk away from. That’s rough and you’re going to wish you had picked one of these silly reasons.

She doesn’t like your favorite movie

Think about your favorite movie and how many times you’ve watched it over the years. If you’re anything like me, you’ve watched it so many times that not only can you recite every line; you also know the deeper meaning behind the movie. Insert your significant other who thinks that the movie is a bit of a drab. How can you live with a person like that for years knowing that every time you’re watching your favorite movie, they’re yawning or playing on their phone?

She doesn’t like Chinese food

One of my best friends told me that he broke up with a girl in college because she didn’t like Chinese food. I told him that I thought he was ridiculous. He then explained to me what I consider to be the Magna Carta of dating and dining. If someone says they don’t like Chinese food, what they’re saying is they don’t like making decisions. When there’s over 200 items on a menu and you can’t settle on one that’s a sign of bigger problems.

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She smells funny

They did a study and it showed that smell is the most powerful memory trigger. If you think back on all the people you dated, you may not remember a lot about them but you damn sure remember their smell. That’s why when you are dating someone who has a peculiar smell, (and I’m not saying they stink, just that they smell), you can’t get over it. Plus, why can’t they smell themselves?!

She likes chunky peanut butter and you like creamy, or she rolls the toilet paper from the back and you from the front, just about anything that has two distinct options and she chooses the other one.

Have you ever lived with someone or had someone replace your toilet paper roll and they have it feeding from the opposite way that you like it? We don’t notice it but the way we make decisions like that are engrained in us in a way that we can’t get over no matter how hard we try. It’s like people who close the shower curtain when they aren’t in the shower and the other can’t understand why it’s such a big deal.

She still has an AOL email address

Anybody who still has an AOL or even a Hotmail email address should be taken out back and put down. This is a sign of a person who is not only still living in the 1990s, but also a person who is totally and unequivocally resistant to change. Get away as fast as you can.

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Turn the page for the final five.