The Work Husband is a term used to define a male coworker whom a woman selects to be her confidant, lunch buddy, and road dog at her job. There’s been a debate on social media the past few weeks discussing if men should fear this “work” relationship their significant other has developed. I’m here to blow the whistle on this arrangement and offer some cautionary guidelines to prove that a work husband is more than just a friend. Here are five reasons to be concerned about this tall, dark, and handsome employee who is kee-keeing it up with your boo during office hours:
1. They Spend More Time With Her Than You
We spend roughly eight hours a day at our place of employment five days a week (on average). So that’s ⅓ of the day you spend with coworkers. For those that don’t cohabitate with their significant others, this is probably twice the time spent with you. If you live with your boo, this may even out some, but factor in that ⅓ of that time spent with your girlfriend will be sleeping, and the time disparity looms larger overall. This means that her Work Husband will be familiar with her day-to-day operations on a business level. Time is a valuable commodity to a woman, and the more time she spends with him, the closer they get and the potential for a bond similar to her boyfriends, but just as dynamic (and threatening) can form.
2. The Work Husband Has A Title
Men are the most elusive animals on the planet regarding dodging the “title talk” with women. Most men will dance around the issue with the grace and agility of Muhammad Ali in his prime, and they will elect to let the relationship mature and take it’s course before definition occurs. Other men will just be real and say they don’t want to be exclusive until they are ready. Women deal with this because they feel the same way (initially), but are willing to let dating build until they are content to let the “what are we” raindrops fall from the heavens. The length of time on this development is never defined, but both parties are aware of time elapsing.
This random dude to you, whether concurrently during this period or after, was building a similar bond of “friendship and camaraderie” with your honey! You aren’t obligated to know how every friendship in her life was constructed. When this friendship has the title of “husband” annexed to it, this should raise cause for alarm. Your chick gave another dude a title. Think about the duality in that revelation! Think about the power she wielded and the significance that she has such a connection to this stranger in the night, that she afforded him the designation of “husband.” Not “friend” or “coworker,” but “WORK HUSBAND.” Hell, in a sense that title might be parallel to yours or even a single notch below!
3. They Know More About Your Relationship Than You Would Want Them To Know
Men have to accept the fact that when they are in a relationship, their women will discuss it with their friends. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if the friend is close to him. When they discuss you, they DISCUSS! So think about all those little arguments or annoyances that occur throughout the course of a relationship, and who will be there to hear her vent. That dude is around to “console her soul while he palms her ass.” He will hear about your obsession with watching porn, how you hang out with your boys non-stop, how you fail to consider her “feelings” and how you NEVER REMEMBER TO PUT THE DAMN TOILET SEAT DOWN IN HER HOUSE!! He will analyze this data like a statistician and develop an algorithm to take your faults and convert them into his strengths. A tactic that will have your woman swooning and dreaming of a life where you could “just get it” like her fabled work hubbie, as he ALWAYS understands.
4. The Work Husband Has Been Compartmentalized As Her Boyfriend Remix
Our friends, family, clothes, music and other aspects of our lives are compartmentalized daily. It’s only natural that we compartmentalize our coworkers too. We have the “strictly business” coworkers, the “never have a conversation” coworkers, and “they can know the REAL me” coworkers. The Work Husband is a dynamic compartmentalized man, who fills more needs for your woman than a utility baseball player. He’s the dope coworker, the consistent lunch date, the conforting shoulder to lean on during the tumoltuous work day, and the model for a genuinely “good man.” He’s basically the Boyfriend Remix, where instead of 1000 random rappers on this track, she only has the verses from the artists she likes the most to get the best music possible. When the work husband has women issues, she’s there to hear about it too. She’ll offer up perspective and eventually wonder where she can find a woman like her to solve her Work Boo’s issues. When she starts looking in the mirror, then you have a problem.
5. The Work Husband Plays The Backup QB Role In Your Relationship
The backup quarterback is the most popular guy on a football team, because he represents hope and potential if the current franchise QB plays poorly. Fans will always clamour to give the backup a shot, because the optimism and heroism of saving fans from further misery is both sexy and appealing. You have a man who can step up to the main dude’s role and possibly perform better, so why not give him a shot? Any work husband will have the necessary information about your woman — and the tenure of friendship — to make a move when he sees an opportunity. Stressful, debilitating, and arduous work environments are known to bring coworkers closer as you share a common struggle and just want to be done with the BS. Men know when they can wear a woman down to get what they want, and it’s even easier when she’s in a relationship / dating a dude. He will wait for you to commit multiple turnovers, and for the press to demand your benching so he can slide into your role and perform!
This was written slightly in jest, but I feel that any man with that Work Husband designation is closer to your woman than you think. Make sure you notice any signs of wavering, and ensure that your own house is in order so that your woman doesn’t stray. Some men are willing Work Husbands and utilize it as a beneficial friend zone. Others know how to move in a room full of vultures and snack on the tastiest piece of their prey.
P.S. – This also applies to Work Wives. Don’t worry ladies. We only want them for their food.
Stay Woke!
I have heard of women having work husbands but never put to much thought into it. After reading this article I will continue to do what I do……..with a more cautious approach lol. Kidding 🙂 Nice article Streetz!
My recent post Wordless Wednesday
work husbands can be solved with a 9mm w/16+ in the magazine.
fear and violence are the only way to deal with lames/cornball negros.
Wow. Agree 100%.
I completely agree. My co – worker had a train husband. She spent 2 and 1/2 hours one way commuting with this man daily. She was struggling in her marriage and the train husband was there to comfort her, buy her kids Christmas gifts, etc. She left her husband and married her train husband.
Well Damn!
But honestly men should be careful of these "work husbands".
I have had a few and they all lead to me leaving my ex. Just because they showed me that I could be treated way better. I didn't date these "work husbands btw". Did they want to date me, probably.
But if all of these women have work husbands, then that means all of these men have work wives.
I don't use that term, but my business partner, who is one of my best friends, is engaged. We spend 10 hours a day at work together, 5 days a week. I have taken my SO to his get-togethers and bbq's, and there is no issue. My business partners fiance adores me. Me and him look at each other like siblings. The thought of romanticizing our relationship makes me uneasy.
Women are more comfortable with their partners having women as close friends than men are comfortable with their partners having men as close friends? Is that insecurity, or that you know what men are capable of? Hmm.
We know what we are capable of. We now that most of us are opportunistic. Its far eaier for a female to be platonic friends with a man then vice versa. Because in the end of the day we know that a single man will sometimes have sex with a woman he isn't even really attracted to just because he wants to get some and the opportunity was there.
These women aren’t seriously going around calling male co-workers “work husbands” are they? That sounds like some lonely, desperate ish.
yeah they do, it's because you spend so much time and maybe bicker a bit. It's a term of endearment.
My recent post Freedom of speech is okay until you piss someone off
Yes they are. I used to have one at my old job, but we referred to each other as such and that was the extent of it. I never shared any of my relationship business with him and vice versa. Like @payne well said, it was more of a term of endearment than anything.
Men also have work wives…go figure!
This is a great article, definitely agree.
"When she starts looking in the mirror, then you have a problem" Then and only then do u have a problem. My male work cohorts I look at as brothers/friends. Thats it, no more, no less.
Men, please stop thinking that any and everyone your lady has a "connection" and common interest with they will immediately fall head over heels crazy and dangerously in love on some Beyonce ish.
Women are not the "emotional whores" you all seem to think we are. Damn, cut us some slack.
This just raises the age-old "can women and men really be just friends?" question. Full disclosure, I was the work wife that turned into the girlfriend. And yes, we did call each work wife and work husband to our significant others, to help explain why every story about work had a starring role reserved for the other. Neither of our significant others felt threatened by it, and it started off innocently enough. Our relationship was downright contentious until that bickering turned into undeniable sexual tension. Then there were months of guilt and putting distance between us until it was painfully obvious to us that these feelings weren't leaving anytime soon.
Definitely be clear with your spouse or significant other that work wives or husbands are not OK. You should honor your relationship with your spouse or significant other by not putting yourself in situations that even have the potential to turn into cheating. We all know how many affairs go on at the workplace!
There has to be some level of respect and trust for the woman you are with, and vice-versa. If you don’t trust and respect her then any close relationship she has with any man that isn’t her blood relative will seem suspect to you, and you’ll treat it as such – causing a rift in your relationship based on the fact that you don’t trust her to stay faithful and devoted regardless, and/or don’t respect her enough to believe that she has firmly planted and will uphold boundaries. I’d personally feel insulted if a man I was with thought I had so little self control or self respect that any man who I spent some time with or who gave me some attention could trick or talk my panties off, or sneak his way into my heart.
But if she doesn’t trust and respect you, or herself, enough to maintain platonic boundaries, and lets the intimacy and bond of that friendship start morphing into more than it should be, why would you want to be with her? Any adult with their head on their shoulders knows that relationships are hard work, and anyone you actually commit yourself to, and start to know all the not so cute quirks about, will seem far less shiny than the one over there who still has the luxury of true emotional distance.. no matter how close the friendship may seem, or how awesome work man may seem, these are still surface relationships, neither one of you has let it all hang out, taken off that work suit and jumped into your favorite “hello kitty” track suit to watch reruns of god awful TV show that you’re addicted to but the other despises.
I’ve had many a problem with my man, and many a friend whose interest in me turned out to be less than platonic. But I’m not with my man because he’s perfect… It’s because he’s perfect for me, and gives me everything I could want or need in the ways that are most important to me – so no matter what, no matter how close another friendship or what problems I have with him, or how awesome another guy on the surface seems, I’m not interested in anyone else in the world like that. And he trusts and respects me enough to know that, and to give me space and freedom to be me, never questioning my loyalty. And I give him the same.
Its not always a matter of trusting your mate. It can sometimes be a problem of someone getting to close to your mate in a way that you are not at all comfortable with. I trust my wife but I don't want some other man all up next to her during lunch rubbing her back or talking about "You can cry on my shoulder". NO! That is my job….or one of her female best friends. He can offer some words of encouragement from across the table but thats it. Keep away 5ft son. Keep away 5ft lol
Any "Work Husband" my wife has better be so flaming that the concrete melts beneath his feet. Because while I do trust my wife I DO NOT trust any single straight man to not try and take advantage of any opportunity to get too close to her.
"Any "Work Husband" my wife has better be so flaming that the concrete melts beneath his feet
Ha ha ha! Too funny. I dig it though.
My related post The 5 Benefits of Becoming Friends Before Lovers
My recent post Indecent Exposure, Weapons & Richard Sherman’s Mouth: When Living In The Moment Goes Wrong
Work husbands are real, and pose a real threat to a relationship. The same with work wives.
Spending a minimum of 8 hours a day with someone on the job can certainly lead to much more than what an appropriate work relationship calls for. Daily communication via emails. Trips to the water cooler. Coffee breaks. Weekly lunch 'dates'. And to think this can occur 5 days out of the week.
Even if infidelity is not on the agenda, its quite easy how it can happen if one is not careful to monitor and place boundaries on their own interactions at work. Especially if one's work requires them to travel alongside their 'work spouse'.
Good write up, because this is something that is often an easily overlooked.
Mr. SoBo
OpinionatedMale.com
My related post The 5 Benefits of Becoming Friends Before Lovers
My recent post Indecent Exposure, Weapons & Richard Sherman’s Mouth: When Living In The Moment Goes Wrong
Way cool! Some extremely valid points! I appreciate you
penning this post and also the rest of the site is really good.
michael kors handbags outlet
My comment is my girlfriend used to work w i t h dis man 4 years in the same building now he has transferred out to another location but he shows up almost each day to have lunch at the table she is sitting at when I questioned her about it she says she cannot help if he drops and sit at the same table where she is what you think about that he comes to her location each day he has 30 minutes lunch break he walks about three blocks to do that