The Work Husband is a term used to define a male coworker whom a woman selects to be her confidant, lunch buddy, and road dog at her job. There’s been a debate on social media the past few weeks discussing if men should fear this “work” relationship their significant other has developed. I’m here to blow the whistle on this arrangement and offer some cautionary guidelines to prove that a work husband is more than just a friend. Here are five reasons to be concerned about this tall, dark, and handsome employee who is kee-keeing it up with your boo during office hours:

1. They Spend More Time With Her Than You

We spend roughly eight hours a day at our place of employment five days a week (on average). So that’s ⅓ of the day you spend with coworkers. For those that don’t cohabitate with their significant others, this is probably twice the time spent with you. If you live with your boo, this may even out some, but factor in that ⅓ of that time spent with your girlfriend will be sleeping, and the time disparity looms larger overall. This means that her Work Husband will be familiar with her day-to-day operations on a business level. Time is a valuable commodity to a woman, and the more time she spends with him, the closer they get and the potential for a bond similar to her boyfriends, but just as dynamic (and threatening) can form.

2. The Work Husband Has A Title

Men are the most elusive animals on the planet regarding dodging the “title talk” with women. Most men will dance around the issue with the grace and agility of Muhammad Ali in his prime, and they will elect to let the relationship mature and take it’s course before definition occurs. Other men will just be real and say they don’t want to be exclusive until they are ready. Women deal with this because they feel the same way (initially), but are willing to let dating build until they are content to let the “what are we” raindrops fall from the heavens. The length of time on this development is never defined, but both parties are aware of time elapsing.

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This random dude to you, whether concurrently during this period or after, was building a similar bond of “friendship and camaraderie” with your honey! You aren’t obligated to know how every friendship in her life was constructed. When this friendship has the title of “husband” annexed to it, this should raise cause for alarm. Your chick gave another dude a title. Think about the duality in that revelation! Think about the power she wielded and the significance that she has such a connection to this stranger in the night, that she afforded him the designation of “husband.” Not “friend” or “coworker,” but “WORK HUSBAND.” Hell, in a sense that title might be parallel to yours or even a single notch below!

3. They Know More About Your Relationship Than You Would Want Them To Know

Men have to accept the fact that when they are in a relationship, their women will discuss it with their friends. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter if the friend is close to him. When they discuss you, they DISCUSS! So think about all those little arguments or annoyances that occur throughout the course of a relationship, and who will be there to hear her vent. That dude is around to “console her soul while he palms her ass.” He will hear about your obsession with watching porn, how you hang out with your boys non-stop, how you fail to consider her “feelings” and how you NEVER REMEMBER TO PUT THE DAMN TOILET SEAT DOWN IN HER HOUSE!! He will analyze this data like a statistician and develop an algorithm to take your faults and convert them into his strengths. A tactic that will have your woman swooning and dreaming of a life where you could “just get it” like her fabled work hubbie, as he ALWAYS understands.

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4. The Work Husband Has Been Compartmentalized As Her Boyfriend Remix

Our friends, family, clothes, music and other aspects of our lives are compartmentalized daily. It’s only natural that we compartmentalize our coworkers too. We have the “strictly business” coworkers, the “never have a conversation” coworkers, and “they can know the REAL me” coworkers. The Work Husband is a dynamic compartmentalized man, who fills more needs for your woman than a utility baseball player. He’s the dope coworker, the consistent lunch date, the conforting shoulder to lean on during the tumoltuous work day, and the model for a genuinely “good man.” He’s basically the Boyfriend Remix, where instead of 1000 random rappers on this track, she only has the verses from the artists she likes the most to get the best music possible. When the work husband has women issues, she’s there to hear about it too. She’ll offer up perspective and eventually wonder where she can find a woman like her to solve her Work Boo’s issues. When she starts looking in the mirror, then you have a problem.

5. The Work Husband Plays The Backup QB Role In Your Relationship

The backup quarterback is the most popular guy on a football team, because he represents hope and potential if the current franchise QB plays poorly. Fans will always clamour to give the backup a shot, because the optimism and heroism of saving fans from further misery is both sexy and appealing. You have a man who can step up to the main dude’s role and possibly perform better, so why not give him a shot? Any work husband will have the necessary information about your woman — and the tenure of friendship —  to make a move when he sees an opportunity. Stressful, debilitating, and arduous work environments are known to bring coworkers closer as you share a common struggle and just want to be done with the BS. Men know when they can wear a woman down to get what they want, and it’s even easier when she’s in a relationship / dating a dude. He will wait for you to commit multiple turnovers, and for the press to demand your benching so he can slide into your role and perform!

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This was written slightly in jest, but I feel that any man with that Work Husband designation is closer to your woman than you think. Make sure you notice any signs of wavering, and ensure that your own house is in order so that your woman doesn’t stray. Some men are willing Work Husbands and utilize it as a beneficial friend zone. Others know how to move in a room full of vultures and snack on the tastiest piece of their prey.

P.S. – This also applies to Work Wives. Don’t worry ladies. We only want them for their food.

Stay Woke!