I came across an article over on Thought Catalog titled “13 Ways You Know You’re Dating a High-Quality Woman.” Here are some of my favorites or most cosign-able items from the list, and a few thoughts to go along with them:
4. She has a part of her life that doesn’t involve you. Friends, hobbies, career — whatever. She’s confident and independent enough to not need your involvement in everything she does.
You really don’t need to do everything and be everywhere together. In fact, I don’t even think that’s healthy. Men still like to hang with the fellas, and we’d like to hope that our sig others would still want to see their girls. Besides, what else is there to talk about when you know everything because you’re always there?
5. You wouldn’t think twice about inviting her into different parts of your life: a barbecue with your college friends, a dinner with your parents, a fancy work party — she knows how to handle herself in different settings. She’s mature enough to make a good impression with your colleagues and wise enough to know letting loose with your friends and having fun doesn’t mean she’s immature.
7. When she is in a situation where she doesn’t know people, she introduces herself confidently. She doesn’t cling meekly to your side waiting for you to facilitate every social interaction.
These two go together. A high-quality woman makes our lives easier. If even for a few minutes at a time. It can be difficult when you’re out at an event and trying to network or catch up with people, but you can’t focus on the conversations because you’re worried about her in the corner, or you’re constantly trying to weave her into chats. Don’t get it twisted; it’s polite and we should be proud to introduce her to people. However, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. This is another time where independence comes in handy.
6. She takes care of herself. This doesn’t mean she is perfect, it means she is always improving. You don’t have to tell her she needs to solve a problem in her life. She’s self-aware and sees what issues she has and is self-motivated enough to constantly be working to improve them. She needs a partner, not a dad.
That last sentence says it all. We’re more than willing to offer our opinions, but we shouldn’t be making life decisions for the women in our lives. If a decision for her affects the us, then maybe we should be making it together. The last thing we want to wonder is “Can she do anything on her own?”
Independence was a theme with my choices, but they may be different for you. Click on over to Thought Catalog to read the rest. Fellas, what would you add to the list from your experience? Ladies, what are the signs you’re dating a quality guy?
IH
"7. When she is in a situation where she doesn’t know people, she introduces herself confidently. She doesn’t cling meekly to your side waiting for you to facilitate every social interaction."
I think this is big!! I hate the women who follow their men everywhere at events as if she's afraid to get to know his friends and family. If you see this man as a longterm partner, you should want to get to know him from the eyes of his friends and family. You might learn a thing or two! 🙂
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Something that may or may not go along with #5 is knowing when to discuss issues between us. Some women will catch an attitude or feel the need to discuss relationship issues WHILE we are out with friends, co workers or family. People should not know we are beefing currently. Enjoy the event, dinner or whatever then when we get home have at it. It might be an argument at first but personally, I would appreciate you for respecting how we appear in public, and around my friends and family.
Yessss!!!
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Love my wife for this trait. Holds the bullsh*t for the car ride home. Never in public.
13. You feel lucky to be dating her because you know she would never date anyone just to date them. She isn’t afraid to be single and she is self-sufficient. You know she is dating you because she’s attracted to you and she thinks that you will help each other grow to be even higher quality, together. TC mark
bang
[She’s mature enough to make a good impression with your colleagues and wise enough to know letting loose with your friends and having fun doesn’t mean she’s immature.]
[She needs a partner, not a dad.]
Here, here! There's few things worst than dating a woman who feels like she doesn't fit comfortably in your world. We're all grown. A person shouldn't have to teach you how to seamlessly maneuver between those worlds. I actually find it to be a turn on to watch my girl be comfortable talking to my friends or colleagues from a few feet away.
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I actually have to disagree with number 7. Being able to introduce yourself to new people you've never met is sometimes REALLY hard to do, be it male or female. That's just a trait extroverted people typically have more so than introverts. Would that then imply if a women is introverted by her very nature she's violating a part of being a good women? I've nervous being introduced to friends and family members because unlike normal people. these people actually matter, so I HAVE to make a good first impression. It's a lot of pressure in social situations.
Nope! And that extrovert / introvert schit is quickly becoming tired. I always find it funny when people say they can't talk to people because they're introverted, yet as soon as they want something, they become the most outspoken people around. The claim of introversion is an excuse. It's more acceptable to claim that, as opposed to saying "I don't feel like making the effort to talk to others."
Introversion and extroversion are more about how you recover energy. If you're introverted, you "recharge" by spending time alone. If you're extroverted, you get energy from spending time with other people. Introverted people can do something as basic as introducing themselves to others without having a panic attack.
Delivery aside, pretty accurate. However. introversion is also on a scale and there are introverts that deal with serious anxiety. I don't know if I can call it an excuse. Being around large groups of people can also cause information overload which causes introverts to freeze or go to where they're most comfortable (the people they know). I'm an introvert, so I know. However, I also wanna make a good impression when out meeting the S.O.'s people, so I introduce myself before the assumptions begin.
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No.
It means as an introvert (*raises hand*), the sheer mental exhaustion is what can make an event unnerving . Most other introverts I know are as outspoken as their/our energy allows, then we have to get into wallflower mode until able to process whatever is going on again. If they're shy too, well, then they're just shy.
Also I don't know if this makes me old fashioned or what, but I've always believed in settings where you're the newbie it's always proper to introduce your friend/gf/bf/SO/whatever, THEN leave them to interact. At least, that's what I've always done. When folks branch out on their own I always view them as getting a tad too comfortable quickly. Not a bad thing per se, but I've got an eye on em!
@DatSquirrel
That’s a good point. I’ve been in situations where it’s appropriate to introduce myself & then there are situations where it looks tacky to be all up in your guys ppl’s faces – just gotta feel out the situation.
Introverted people sometimes use it as an excuse to shun people. A lot of time introverted=insecurity
I don't think it's fair to single out introverted people as "insecure". I'm sure all my friends would consider me an extrovert because I know so many people, but in reality I'm a true introvert by definition. Although I don't necessarily struggle with talking to people, I find it excruciatingly painful to spark a conversation out of the blue. So when I am in a relationship and I introduce my sig other to my circles, I try to make sure that it's a simple interaction to make everyone comfortable.
I remember going to a wedding with my ex, and she didn't tell me she was the hostess for the evening. So I'm sitting in the pews and at the dinner table alone. By far the most awkward situation for me because I wasn't familiar with the bride or groom or their circles because they were older than I. There was no commonality between myself and the guests so what conversation could I really ignite?
I can step out of my comfort zone. Sure. I'm a grown man in corporate America. And I hope my next girlfriend has that ability as well. But let's not throw the introverts under the bus because they're not uber social.
i agree,i don’t have a problem talking among my close friends coz i am used to them – but when i surrounded by new pips i go mute ,totally find it hard to speak ,i totally withdraw ,am def trying hard to work on that i even consider carrying cue hards,lol-so i don’t think it’s all introvertism-is that a word?is about insecurity some of us find it really hard to interact as fluidly as others ,and work a whole room,lol i guess am not a high quality woman since i would probably be that woman who listens more ,interjects less and basically find herself in a corner a couple of times when people rotate from one end to another
Think all women should try to become "High Quality"
Im certainly taking notes! 🙂
Also…being high quality shouldn't mean superior.
I would think this is just a better way to "be" as a person.
"High Quality" … is Subjective.
The 'Real' question is: Is She High Quality to ME (as her man)?
Her Job, Degree, Status … Means NOTHING if "I" (as a man) Don't See the Value of Her Feminine Energy in My Life/Space. Men don't date Careers or Status. Men Date and Commit to Woman Whose Feminine Value is Right for Their Life.
Just the Way I See It …
This type of woman is a gift and a curse….the gift being; those our wonderful traits to have the curse; a lot of men may not be ready for that type of woman
High quality? What that means to one may not be the same to others. Traits are traits not definitions. Strive to meet your best potential without trying to live up to someone else’s expectations…the expectations from people who issue these titles are in most cases above human. In addition seek out those who best relate and are compatible with you.
We all process things differently and for many they have to rank in order to feel better about themselves or their choices…ie Good Man, Strong Woman, High Quality.
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