You need to keep your hoe on a leash!

Those were the words of Steve Carell in The 40 Year Old Virgin. The actual scene is in the above photo. Harsh words from a pretty mild-mannered dude right? Well, on one end he was simply covering up for his cheating friend. On the other end, his commentary spoke to something we have to own. That means us fellas. I’m not saying we need to keep “hoes” on a leash. That language is not becoming of me…just kidding. But we as men have to have a control on your relations.

Not too long ago Dr.J wrote a post on Madame Noire called Why Are Men So Prone To Kiss And Tell? I’ll leave you to it to check it out. But in a general sense, the post speaks of an ideal he lives by. He’s discreet about his dealings with women. He suggests that as men we all should be. An OG passed that info to him just as some did to me growing up. This post pretty much piggybacks on that mentality. You see, it would behoove us as men to not be messy. And what I mean by messy is not keeping your dealings with women in order.

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Now I keep using the word “men.”

That’s not to refer to our gender as much as it is to refer to our role. A huge part of being a man is being responsible. We’ve got to be responsible on many different fronts. Now we won’t be by no means perfect. But the goal daily is to try and be better. Messy situations to me wreak of some sort of irresponsibility. Now don’t get me wrong, being messy makes for great reality television. Shit, everyone tunes in to see your boy Stevie J. And some can’t  get enough of the poor man’s Stevie J, Peter Gunz. But with that, said messiness has its place. Maybe that’s in front of some cameras for a check. But here in real life there’s no place for it. There’s no place for it if you’re looking to build. There’s no place for it if you want trust. And there’s certainly no place for it if you’re looking to be taken seriously.

 We’ve all seen  women confront other women because of a guy.

Words might be said. Hair might be pulled. Maybe a shorty threw a few punches. I’m not too sure If I’ve ever thought to myself why the guy in question never prevented such a thing. The mentality that I’ve always had was that if a woman respected me then she wouldn’t go off and do something she knew I wouldn’t approve of. So the answer could be that maybe some guys are fine with their girls fighting other women. I just happen to think it’s not a good look.

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As men, we’re called to be strong, assertive, and consistent individuals.

We’ve got to be the buoy in the ocean that is a woman. Looking like you’ve lost control of a situation looks more juvenile than anything. I don’t write this to put down any guy. And I sure don’t write this to come off as perfect. This is just to encourage all of us to clean up some things that we need to. It’ll make us better men. Maybe even more importantly, it’ll bring us to the right ladies. That’s the hope at least. What do you all consider messy? Have you been in a messy situation? Let’s get into it.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS  – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status