Complaining seldomly leads to success. That’s a principle that is accurate in all facets of life. So naturally that makes our dating lives no different. Some people are lucky to find the right one rather quickly. For the majority of us… it’s the opposite. For most of us, dating is an experience. It lasts for years. The people we date vary. In the midst of all that, we have some shitty experiences. We experience heartbreak. Sometimes heartbreaks lead to breakups. Moving on can be a task; a tedious one at that. But in order to experience happiness, you have to figure a way.

Negative experiences from our past can influence us for the worst. Both men and women have crutches we use to “justify” our current status. It isn’t the best thing but it’s the truth. Here are some examples.


Nice guys finish last– I recently  read an article called 45 Ultimate Tips For Men. One of the tips was that nice guys didn’t finish last, boring guys did. I’m inclined to agree with that. There might have been a time when I uttered such words in formative years. But the older I got the more I realized that it’s an excuse. I hate to reference this but even take “Think Like A Man” for example. The whole idea of “changing the game.” Sometimes that’s what has to happen. If you’re not getting the results you’d like then you’ve got to switch something up. You expressing that only nice guys finish last won’t help your dilemma.

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Hoes stay winning– I know we’ve all heard this one before. To be frank, in undergrad it was something to chuckle at. Another funny phrase that we conjure up as a culture. But I’ve realized more and more lately that many women really believe this. A number of women exclaim this phrase  to note  why they’re single. Too many men loving these hoes. Let’s say these ladies are right. Let’s say all the good men in the world are loving these “hoes.” My answer is usually the same. How does saying this better your situation? It doesn’t. The truth could  be that you’ve got to find a better way to date. Find a better way to reveal who you are to a man.

Change the game

We’ll always be in the pursuit of bettering ourselves. There’s no manuals to this stuff. Life is a big game of each one teach one. I only hope to encourage all of us to lessen the amount of excuses we make. Lessen the amount of times we find it appropriate to put down one another. Who another man/woman dates is their business. Nice guy/bad guy, hoe or not. It means nothing in your grand scheme of things. Always remember that. Let’s run our own race. We can’t be great by complaining. And no mate wants to deal with a Debbie downer.  I know I don’t

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Do you all agree? Do you think I’m wrong? Let’s speak on it.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS  – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status