The love bug seems to have been striking like a “motha” and it’s definitely a good look.

I can’t remember a time when the celebration of nuptials and the celebration of pregnancies were almost congruent. What people have been complaining about for years might be getting satisfied. For years now on social media we’ve seen the posts like “too many babies and not enough weddings.” Well people are figuring it out and men have been seemingly more decisive than ever… or I’m just getting old.

Regardless, the conversation of marriage and engagements have been all around me for months now. I have an older cousin who primarily inspired today’s post from a conversation we had maybe about… a week ago(does the shmoney ah ah)!  But before I tell you about that conversation, watch this short trailer that I found interesting.

Now the conversation I had with my cousin dealt with a woman that he’s highly attracted to. They have amazing sex and that’s what always keeps him coming back. Physically she is just it for him. He often alludes to the feeling he has where he just wants to up and settle with her. He’s aware that she’s really not the best person. She hasn’t been one to hold down a job. She always finds a way to get others to do for her. She has been known to scam from time to time in the past. There are a litany of red flags with this woman. It just so happens that the “pum pum tun up!” We all know that would cloud the clearest of minds.

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I would often impart to him that I didn’t think that was who he should settle with.

I would run down this gambit of why she wasn’t marriage material. I’d say the fact that she can’t be fully independent for long periods was a red flag. The fact that she has poor money management was a red flag. The fact that all she can do to enrich your life is offer some bomb box was a red flag. After a while, I caught myself. I realized that I have a list, and this list is what matters to me.

It only matters to me.

If all he wants from someone is good box then who am I to say a word? Everyone has their own list. As much as he probably won’t marry this woman, what am I to say if he does? She isn’t my wife right? My list doesn’t mean anything against his. having said all of this it’s evident that it’s hard to define marriage material. I mean there are qualities that I think most of us will share. But there are always those difficult alternative people who sort of stir the pot of common thought.

In the above trailer you saw an example of this. The mother and daughter had two different ideas of what marriage material was supposed to be. We all won’t care about the same things. As much as we want the best for our friends and family, you’ve got to let them do them according to them. Engagement is often referred to as taking a leap. And to coin a basketball proverb:

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You live and die with jumpers.

Sometimes you get to see things work, sometimes they don’t. Ultimately you have to live your life true to yourself and allow others to do the same. I just know whomever I get engaged to better be able to hold down a job damn it. What are your ideas of marriage material? Has your ideas of marriage material changed as you’ve gotten older? Let’s get into it.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS