Original Article: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2014/10/10-responses-can-cook-thatll-shut-good/

This article sounds like someone is caught up in their feelings of being asked this question and it being a deal breaker for guy. Everyone has deal breakers…or not? Do you have any deal breakers? If so, let us know what they are, and why? It’s not always self explanatory.

I don’t like jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, but either the author can’t cook or one of her friends can’t. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking someone you’re interested in, if they can perform a certain duty, in my humble opinion. All it offers is some insight to them as an individual as you get to know them. What’s wrong with asking questions. The only dumb questions are the questions that are never asked? Wouldn’t you agree?

If people stepped off their high horse to place their feet on the ground that we all started this journey of life on they might learn to understand first as opposed to being understood. If I ask someone this question and she replies with can I cook I have no problem replying honestly and truthful, “I have a few dishes that I can put my foot in, but I’m no top chef. My breakfast game is mean, but I’m open to learning new things.” A question sparks a response and further dialogue.

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Society has conditioned us to believe that the woman’s place is in the kitchen, but as time passes that has started to disappear. Not all women have their inner-feminist on high alert at all times, but author or a close friend of the author needs to tell that inner being to drink a warm cup of tea.

My responses:

Can I change a tire? Yes.

Can I change your oil? Yes…with ease.

Can you fix a leak? Yes, of course. Let me get my bag of tools.

Is your penis longer than 8”? Do you have a ruler on you now?

Can you change a lightbulb? Yes, and I won’t need any assistance at all.

Can you build a desk/chair/bookshelf/whole Ikea bedroom? Of course, you got me on the materials?

Can you pump gas/ take out the trash? C’mon…really?

Can you shovel snow/mow the lawn? I would’ve thrown down a layer of salt already, so I wouldn’t even need to shovel, and I’m paying my nephew or a neighborhood kid to do this.

Can you cook? (see my response above)

Conversations should be the start of something new as opposed to bringing old baggage into a new possibility. Women and men both bring something to the table, so you enter the conversation on equal playing field. It’s not my fault, if you don’t feel as my equal. That’s something that you need to address on your own, and I can’t fix that.

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If you choose to turn up after this question, and then in turn don’t speak to me at all, it wasn’t meant to be, right? It just seems so trivial. We’re of a particular age where men grew up without fathers, and boys grew up without their mothers. There are always layers of preconceived notions that everyone needs to peel away before they can see themselves and others just as who they are. No one is asking you to make 365 sandwiches (Link: https://singleblackmale.org/2014/05/29/300sandwiches-lady-gets-engaged-256-sandwiches-later/) for an engagement ring. It’s just a question.

Fellas do you ask ladies whether or not they can cook? If so, why? If not, why?

Ladies, are you against guys asking whether you can cook? If so, why? If not why?

Written by AlacrityAmir

Amir is a research scientist and community activist, who is also inspired to not only see growth in himself, but those he comes in contact with.

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