Women are constantly struggling to understand the disappearing man, the reappearing man, the catch him if you can man, or the man who just doesn’t seem to get it. I understand. It’s frustrating. Why can’t he just sit still? Why won’t he just follow through? Why did suddenly stop calling or texting?

It’s simple. Some men really do have A.D.D. when it comes to dating. They seemingly can’t pay attention long enough to follow a potential relationship all the way through for some reason or another. It causes everyone in the situation pain and frustration because it’s not that he lost interest, he just didn’t have the attention span needed for it to pan out.

There’s a handful of reason that I’ll discuss later in the post today why this can potentially happen. I’ll be the first to say, “maybe he’s just not that interested” is not the best reasoning. It could potentially be that but it’s possible that it isn’t. Also, be careful not to think anything is wrong with you when a man has a wayward attention span. (Keep in mind, it may be you but still…) It’s always possible that you’re perfectly fine but just not for him. It’s also possible that the timing just wasn’t the best.

  1. He’s too busy to date – Let’s get this one out of the way first. It really is possible for someone to be too busy to date. Men and women alike run into this situation. Sometimes, dating/marriage may be a priority for you but it isn’t feasible for him at the time. It would be nice if these men would remove themselves from the dating pool but we can’t force them.
  2. He’s not sure exactly what he wants – Everyone at one point or another in their life is not sure what they want out of a significant other. Their mind can change very quickly and drastically. One day he wants a fun girlfriend, the next day he wants the woman he plans to marry. It’s really hard to tell. If this is the case, he’ll spend only a few moments in one situation before hopping to the next.
  3. He has too many options – I’ve been preaching this for a long time. It’s really hard to make a decision and follow through on it if you have too many options to consider. It takes some men their whole lives to realize that having a stable is the most unproductive practice in the game. It’s best to have a small handful with clear delineations so you can make the pick on what’s best for you. However, some men dare to be different.
  4. You’re easy to forget about – Some women consider themselves low maintenance and laid back. They prefer to say that they go with the flow and don’t need a lot of attention to be happy. Be careful with that. If you go too far with that you’ll end up in this zone of being forgettable. You shouldn’t be attempting to stay all up in his face but don’t seep into darkness.
  5. He actually has a short attention span – There are some men who can’t focus on anything in their lives longer than a short period of time. If this trend permeates itself through multiple facets of his life then it will most likely affect his relationships too.
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I’d like to have a handful of recommendations to share but I don’t. I think that it will really come down to whether you want to have the patience to work through it or if you want to move on sooner than later. I wouldn’t fault anyone for doing either. In the end, if there’s anyone who knows that he has A.D.D. when it comes to relationships, it’s him.

Dr. J