I love children.

Ok … I don’t walk around saying “awww” and “she’s so cute”, but I am very good with children and do look forward to having my own little SBM running, macking all the girls in Kindergarten with his mixture of wit and genius (lets be real … girls don’t start finding that attractive till their early 20’s).

There are countless differences between children and adults.  Besides the fact that I could crush a 5 year old in a race, and I’m 3 times his size, there are countless differences between an adult as myself and any pre pubescent individual.

But sometimes … you come across someone who skipped the puberty process, someone whose mental/emotional capacity just isn’t up to par with their age group.  I’m not talking about those clinically defined with a mental disability, I am talking about those chics/guys who are acting their shoe size and not their age.  Yes … those immature motherf****ers that just make life for us grown folks hard.

The one thing that truly defines a man from a boy, a woman from a girl, and an adult from a child is … their ability to handle “issues”.

Yeah … issues.

Kids cry, they yell, they throw things, they refuse to accept the truth, they stick their fingers in their ears, they run away, and the list goes on.  Sadly, these childish “grown ups” are no better.  They hear something they don’t like and they just loss their mind.

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If you need to see this in person to get a handle of it, no problem.  Drive on down to your local hood, don’t worry … it’s never more than 45 minutes away, hell, it might be right outside your stoop.  Next, find you a hood rat.  They can usually be found walking around with curlers in the hair, walking multiple children that doin’t look related, and usually has a “Don’t f**k wit me” look on her face.  Approach said hood rat, and tap her on the shoulder and say something slightly upsetting. “Your hair is mess” or “You should have a hat on your kids head”, etc.  She will promptly blow up, threaten your life, and maybe try and stab you. A grown up kid.  I’m not saying you weren’t in the wrong … but I mean damn … can’t just be going off on everybody cause they think your 3 year old son should have a hat on in 20 degree weather.

Adults handle discomfort and problems in a mature way.  They attempt to address, fix, or avoid the problem.  Their actions are usually aimed at actually getting something accomplished and the biggest thing … they don’t overreact.  Just to drive this home … lets see some examples of Adults and “Big Kids” getting delivered bad news.

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Agitator: Sorry, we are out of hot wings
Adult: Damn. I’ll have a hamburger instead.
“Big Kid”: Uh uh … that’s some bullsh*t.  How you not gonna have hot wings in this b*.  I think your just racist and don’t want to give no n***a some chicken. F**k ya’ll (*at this point a chair is thrown*)!

Agitator: “The test came back positive … we’re gonna have a child and I’m keeping it”
Adult: “Oh man. Well, I’m gonna support my seed and make sure everything is good for both of you.”
“Big Kid”: *silence … because he’s already in the car trying to start the engine and calling his cell phone company to give him a new number that this chic will never know*

Agitator: “Sorry baby, I’m going to be 20 minutes late because of work.”
Adult: “It’s Ok honey.  I need to go to the convenience store around the corner.”
“Big Kid”: “WTF! Can’t you leave the office on time.  You know what, go by yourself.  I’m calling up my friends and we’re going out to the club.”

Agitator: “I’m not sure if I want a girlfriend right now.  There is a lot going on in my life.”
Adult: “I understand … but I need more right now.  We can’t keep seeing each other anymore.”
“Big Kid”: “You b****h a** N***A!!!  I knew I shouldn’t have wasted any of my time with your punk a** in the first place.  Your d*ck’s small, you smell like dirt, and your momma’s a whore.”

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Yes … these big kids just can’t handle disappointment or not getting their way.  They pout, complain, through tantrums and resort to whatever means necessary to get their way.  Their like a disease, plagueing us level headed individuals who have some semblance of sense to themselves.

Have you come across one of these Big Kids? Are you a reformed “Big Kid”? Are you currently one and willing to admit and seek assistance?

I know I’m not the only one whose seen em …