Don't be a Sharon.

I walked into the Boston office like I did on any other icy morning in one of the rudest cities in the United States. I defrosted by the closet, went and placed my bag at my desk, then dragged myself to the kitchen to make a cup of sub-par coffee. You know, the kind where you put the little cup into the machine and choose 4,6,8,10, or 12 ounces? Yeah. That. Anyway, I saw my co-worker Sharon looking slightly less energetic than normal. “Hey Sharon!” I shouted out with false excitement. I’m not much of a morning person. Sharon usually caught me with her post-workout pep, but something was different that day. It appeared as if curiosity had finally killed her cat, Snuggles. “Not much Slim. I got some bad news last night,” she depressingly replied. I stood fumbling around in the fridge hoping she’d save her woes for Rosa. But after about 20 seconds of looking for the dairy creamer that was clearly right in front of me, I realized there was no escaping the conversation. After all, I’m an HR person. We’re paid to bake cookies and listen.

I had no choice but to begrudgingly inquire about the reasons for her overwhelming and dramatic sadness. Sharon sighed and slumped into one of the seats. “I found out that a co-worker at my last job cheated on his fiance with some Jezebel.” I was already annoyed, but I let her continue. “They were such a nice couple. So much for the wedding this summer,” she said as I watched and waited for her to exhale. I sipped my coffee to keep from laughing then proceeded to indulge. “Were you close friends with his wife?” Sharon looked up at me, slowly shook her head, then returned to her crestfallen state. “How did you find this out and why are you so upset by it?” I knew what was coming, but I still couldn’t help but to be a bit shocked by the words that followed because I was hoping she’d prove me wrong.

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“I saw that their status changed on Facebook at the end of the day yesterday, and I called someone that I used to work with at TechnoStaff to see what happened as soon as I got home. I’ve been devastated ever since.”

“Oh. Damn. That’s unfortunate. Were you supposed to go to the wedding?” I knew the answer, so it was no surprise when she said “No. I just thought they were great together. It just hurts me to know John would do something like that to Lena. I’m gonna call her today to see if I can help. ” I looked at my Blackberry as if I had a call and then hustled out the kitchen with the phone to my ear and nobody on the other end. I couldn’t take listening to her anymore. She normally looked like a 7, but at that moment she resembled an aging 3.

Sharon was a 35 year old single woman with no prospect for love looming anywhere in her near future. She was reliable, intelligent, and thoughtful. Sharon was a dedicated churchgoer and more than likely had the potential to be a good wife. Sharon was also incredibly nosey and consistently entangled in the business of others. In the 2 years that I knew her, she had focused so much on the relationships and happenings of colleagues, celebrities, and friends that she forgot to worry about herself. It was a seemingly sad existence.

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I couldn’t date a Sharon. If she was like this at work then I could only imagine what her life was like outside the office. For that matter, I couldn’t imagine any man like me dating someone this nosey or dating a woman with a bunch of Sharons in her life. It’s just not worth it when there are already so many other things to be concerned with than the business of others.

So the moral of the story is unless you want to be a Sharon, get a hobby, mind your business, and worry about yourself. Otherwise you run the risk of being single forever with the closest thing to a mate being a cat named Snuggles. Do you want that life? I sure as hell don’t.

Do you have any Sharon stories? What’s the fine line of being a considerate person that values relationships and being a nosey ass Sharon? Other thoughts? You betcha.

Sharing is caring unless you’re Sharon and love-barren,