We can’t get rid of our habits, in fact, we are slaves to them until we find the need to make a change. As men we have our vices to help us cope.  Women may have spa days or Taboo, but men, we have our vices. Over the years, I’ve watched a man’s life fall apart and thought to myself that a man couldn’t get his vices together and that’s what caused his inevitable demise. Personally, I know what can come from a man who doesn’t get his paycheck to his wife before it gets to the street.  As a child, I experienced a family member’s addiction to gambling lead to a situation that put me off to gambling forever.  Anyhow, it’s 2012, and the list changes with time, so I took a moment to think about my vices and those of the men I know.

Men are addicted to random videos on the Internet. They actually aren’t random, we pretty much go to the same Tumblr and “video” sites everyday.  There are some men who sit at home thinking, “As soon as she gets home, I’m going to channel my inner-Mr. Marcus.” Nothing you can do about that, even Kirk Franklin had a vice that needed addressing.  My Tumblr addiction runs deep, I can’t help it.  Have you ever seen those moving pictures, they’re called gif.  I just love funny gifs. I’ve been known to send my friends some funny gifs at inopportune times.  Heck, I’ve been known to send a person a gif that might get him fired and put the subject as, “Pictures from last weekend.”

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When we’re with our women or just around women in general we will tell you that Plies and Uncle Luke make music that while it may be pleasing to some men, it’s not our favorite.  When we’re not around you, we blast 2 Live Crew as loud as possible.  Let’s just face it, every now and then a man enjoys some misogynist music.  That doesn’t make him a misogynist, just like, listening to Black Girls Rock music doesn’t make a woman a feminist.  There’s just something about listening to an old Too Short album, or when “I Get Around” comes on the radio that helps men cope with a bad day at work, or rejection from women.

This is a journey for many of us, not just men, but women too.  However, save a few women who just like to have a certain type of wine every now and then when stress reaches that point, this is primarily a man’s vice. Women drink alcohol that makes them relax or gets them in the mood.  Men self-medicate with alcohol to do just about anything they need to do. There are many men who use alcohol to do work.  Have you ever seen a music artist’s Official Rider?  For a man, all he needs is a few things in life to make him whole.  He needs a chair, a dog and a fifth of his favorite liquor. With those three things, we can do anything, the possibilities are limitless. The key for most men is to manage this vice to the point that it does not cause an ill effect on those around them.  The first two vices are personal ones that have very little effect on those around them, this one needs to be kept under control.

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Although I am not a part of the club, I respect its members, this one is for them.  There are those men who choose marijuana as their personal vice.  I chuckle to myself when I think, I actually know some people who smoke marijuana well into old age.  It works for them, and that’s great.  You know I’m not the best to speak on this, because everything I want to say was already said here:

httpv://youtu.be/8psjDXUBWWs 

There are some men that can gamble, and not let gambling ruin their lives.  I had an experience as a child in Atlantic City that will stand out to me for the rest of my life.  For that very reason, this isn’t my vice.  But for many men, there’s nothing more fulfilling than turning $500 into $2,000.  For others, there is power in having the dice in your hand, you have absolute no control over the outcome, but with dice in hand, you feel that somehow you’re in complete control of your fate. The thing about this habit is it has the power to destroy, and I mean, destroy a family and home.  There’s always that feeling that you can somehow “get back up” that will cause you to make very bad decisions.  But if a man likes some Jack and a game of Blackjack, I don’t see why he can’t have it every now and then.

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Thumbing through the channels one night, I saw a comedy special.  I can’t remember the comedian’s name but he was talking about “The Drinking World” during his comedy special and how deep down inside, it’s a great place and we’re allowed to enjoy it.  He went on to mention that the guy who gets wasted and wraps his car around a tree, doesn’t deserve to be in the drinking world.  This applies to your vices.  If you can enjoy them and not let them take over your life, then fine, you’re allowed to enjoy them… well 4 of the 5.  If you can’t enjoy them and they end up taking over your life, then you don’t deserve to have them.

What are some of your vices?  Men and women.  I took the angle of a man today, because there’s a woman dating a guy right now and thinking to herself, that’s my man right there in a nutshell.  But I’m sure that women have just as much to offer to the conversation about their experiences dating men with vices, and some of their own.  Cheers.

– Dr. J