Rule #5 — Don’t Be A Perv

Instagram has this thing called a time line. It works similar to Facebook’s time line where you can see everything your friends have liked and shared. So fellas, if you go around to the accounts of every SI swimsuit model and video vixen you can find and like their most scandalous pictures, all of your Insta-peeps will know. Again, use the like button wisely. Ladies, you’re not exempt either. Don’t be a thirst bucket. If you comment on the same dude’s pics every single time he posts – three seconds after he posts. We’re all gonna know and we’re all gonna judge. Instagram is still relatively young and doesn’t really have advanced settings where you can manage what your friends see and don’t see. If you do something on instagram assume someone else can see it. Keep that in mind.

Rule #4 — Stop Setting Thirst Traps

O.k. bro – we know you put in your work at the gym, no need to post a pic of you all sweaty post work out with statement like “Almost got my abs where I want them to be. How do they look?” attached. It’s super lame dude. Ladies, don’t post a pic you reading a book, in your bed, with nothing but a big -t shirt on with every inch of thigh you have showing with “Anyone else read this… sooo good!” attached. We know, you want us to comment on your thighs. We get it.

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Rule # 3 —  Easy on the TweeGrams – You’re Not That Deep

There’s nothing worse than checking your Instagram and finding 50-11 tweegrams of folks spewing their fake-deep dogma. We all know the serenity prayer, no need to tweegram the whole damn thing. And definitely don’t put your tweegram in quotation marks and then attribute said quote to yourself. If you do that, I will unfollow you on the spot.

TweeGram:

“Love is like air, you can never really touch it, but you breathe it everyday” ~ Me

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You ain’t deep.

Rule # 2: Don’t Stop Life for Instagram or Create Life on Instagram

Life’s greatest moments and memories become more and more beautiful the further removed we become from them. The girl you used to date in college becomes the most beautiful woman on Earth when you’re reminiscing at your 10 year reunion. The view of the New York City skyline that night you strolled the Brooklyn Promenade becomes more amazing when you’re remembering it years later. That’s the beauty of instagram, it allows you to enhance an image so that it’s beauty matches the beauty of the memory in your mind. Still though, there’s a fine line between capturing a moment and creating a moment. Don’t create moments for Instagram. Don’t stop your life and its innate spontaneity so that you can show your insta-friends how awesome you are. Keep it real.

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Rule #1: Stop Taking That Same Damn Picture of Your Face Over and Over!

Self explanatory. If we become insta-friends and I find that 50% of your pictures are of your face with your chin pointed down to the right showing off your good side with the same little, half sexy, half cute, half innocent smile, I’m unfollowing immediately. It’s super annoying and I’m going to assume there’s something off about your self-esteem.

That about does it for me. How about you all? Are y’all on Instagram, and if so, do you have pet peeves related to the social network? What are some of the most annoying things people do on Instagram, and what are some rules you’d like to add to the list. I hope these Instagram rules for new users are helpful. Also, check all about Instagram video. Lastly, are you an Android user hopping on the Instagram bandwagon? Let us know.

Mr. Spradley