“When was the first time you fell in love with hip-hop?”
The dynamics of a heterosexual friendship are almost endless.
They are intriguing as they involve this unspoken code of parameters to follow. Now if you’re a regular reader of my writing then you may know I love a good reality show. As of late I’ve been slowly phasing out of the ratchet Monday realm. I have nothing against it, they’re just no longer breaking new ground. Thanks to a female friend of my own, I was put on to a new show on Bravo called Friends To Lovers.
The new reality show chronicles a few different couples who all started out being just friends. Along the way there was an attraction that both recognized at the very least. So the show pretty much examines how these different relationships will play out. I was drawn to this show because there is a huge grey area that exists in friendships. You see, if you frequent instagram then you’ve seen posts that say things like “Your lover should be your best friend,” or “the foundation of any real relationship is a friendship.” This show highlights what has always been evident to us. There’s a risk of messing up a seemingly good thing.
The above photo followed by the caption is from the movie “Brown Sugar.”
If you know me then you know that’s a personal favorite of mine. Throughout that movie this same exact topic is danced around. Two friends who are pretty close recognize that they like each other. They always liked each other. Instead of a move being made early on, they watched each other go through failed relationships. Eventually they begin to explore romance together. What ensued prior to this was fear. What you see ensue in Friends To Lovers is fear.
People are preoccupied with losing the friendship.
I think we’re more preoccupied with that rather than putting our energies into courting the right way with the same person. There’s good reason for this and I can’t knock anyone’s nervousness. At the same token how do you establish a friendship in which you’d like to progress beyond? How do you let this be known without making it seem too orchestrated? I have no clue to be honest. The politically correct answer would be to say that you let things happen organically. Be patient right? Well, that may work here and there. I’m more privy to believe it doesn’t work that way often enough. But in a world where it seems everyone is trying to dodge the dreaded friend zone it would help people to know how to better express their attraction for someone. Is there a way to express this that yields more positive results?
In Friends To Lovers these people are trying to make it work.
You will see the pros and cons of exploring relationships with people you have been friends with. It’s interesting stuff to me. You all should give it a look sometime. Being vulnerable is one of the hardest things to do. Letting a friend know you like them can run the risk of you being shut down. But for those of you who have pulled that trigger, how did it work out for you? Would you date a friend of yours? I think I could as long as I saw qualities that spoke along the lines of longevity to me. Let’s talk about it, could you go from being friends to lovers?
These are my words and I make no apologies.
Postscript: On February 12, 2015 at 6:30 p.m. I will be participating in a panel discussion called Boy Meets Girl. Myself and two other distinguished gentlemen will be discussing dating dynamics at CloudSocial NYC. There will be time for Q&A as well as a mixer afterwards. If you’re interested definitely come give it a look. It’s $10 and the proceeds go to the BRC which houses people affected by domestic violence. Click the link for more details.
DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS