The matchmaker and life coach, Paul Carrick Brunson tells you how to work on marriage, before you get the ring or the woman in 10 steps.

The best time to work on your marriage is before you’re married. If you are single, here are 10 things you can do now to prepare for strong matrimony.

1) Stop Falling in Love with Potential
Having a healthy relationship with your partner means loving them for who stands before you today, not the hope of who they will be tomorrow. Falling in love with potential is a mistake.

2) Love Yourself More
I’m not talking about looking in the mirror and saying, “I look good.” Loving yourself is about respecting what you put in your mind, your body and your spirit. The more you love yourself, the more emotionally healthy people you will attract.

3) Get Some Identity Capital
I learned this from an amazing Ted Talk by clinical psychologist Meg Jay. She articulates “Identify Capital” as something that adds value to who you are. It could an internship, getting your start-up launched, going for the trek around the world or any initiative that builds character will later be desired.

4) Work on Vulnerability
The bottom line is you can’t love without first being vulnerable. Putting yourself in positions of vulnerability in other areas of your life will help build this “muscle.”

5) Be Intentional
Approach your love life as intentionally as you do with your work. Choose who and what you want in a relationship rather than just making it work with whoever chooses you.

[Read the next 5 steps here]