Black men want relationships?

One of the most surprising findings of a new poll conducted on over 1,000 African-Americans shows that black single men were much more likely to say they’re looking for a long-term relationship than single black women. Professor Ivory Toldson, and regular parenting contributor, Dani Tucker weigh in on the poll’s results.



We wanted to talk more about this new poll, so we decided to gather a roundtable of people who thought about or talked about or written about many of these issues. With us now, Ivory Toldson, he’s a Howard University professor of counseling psychology. He’s editor-in-chief of The Journal of Negro Education. You might also catch his articles in Also with us, Dani Tucker. She’s a fitness instructor and entrepreneur, and a regular contributor to our weekly parenting roundtables. Welcome to you both. Thank you both so much for joining us.


DANI TUCKER: Thank you.

MARTIN: So you heard what jumped out at Matt Thompson. What jumped out at you, Dani? You both had a chance to read the poll.

TUCKER: What jumped out at me wasn’t the entertainment – I agree with that – but it was the men wanting to be more in a committed relationship than the women. And I do think that’s true and I think it’s sad.

MARTIN: Why do you think that is?

TUCKER: Well, because…

MARTIN: What’s your opinion about why that is?

TUCKER: The black community is known for its faith and its family, you know. And taking it back to some of the times when we talk about our parenting issues, you know how I feel about the big mamas and the big poppas in the house to help gear the family, and we’re losing that. And I think it is a lot because of the women are now so independent in the black community ’cause they’ve had to do so much on their own that, you know, it’s that “I don’t need a man” type mentality. And I just – I don’t like that.

MARTIN: Professor Toldson, I know you had some – you took some issue with the methodology. You felt, for example, there ought to have been more African-Americans involved in actually gathering the data. So, but that being said, what jumped out at you?

TOLDSON: Yeah, well, the same finding – and I looked at the word “looking for a long-term relationship.” I don’t believe that a lot of young black women and middle-aged black women would be inclined to say that they are looking, even if they would be open to the idea. Some people think that looking actually jinxes your chances. Some people think that looking makes you sound desperate, or some people think that looking makes you sound like your priorities are out of whack…

Check out the radio interview and full transcript at []

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SBM family, do these poll results surprise you? Why do you think more black men than black women responded positively to being open to looking for a serious relationship/commitment?