We advocate that you avoid men with crazy exes here on #SBM. But if you truly have some strong connection with a guy and want to make it work, these are a few tips on how to deal with his crazy ex.

Be supportive 
Look, when someone you are seeing is talking about their crazy ex, you are probably supposed to say somewhat supportive things. You are supposed to tell them that they are not actually any of the horrible things that she is saying. That’s really all they want.

Remember she could be your friend
Look, taking into account this woman may not be “crazy” we all have friends who have gone somewhat irrational after a break-up. You haven’t said “you’re being crazy.” You’ve said “you’re in pain, take all the time you need. When you boiled his bunny that was just you expressing your feelings.” No, we haven’t said that. But we have let people dump expired dairy products all over the place in fits of rage (you’d be astonished by the number of expired dairy products in my apartment). Anyhow, remember that this girl is someone you would probably sympathize with if circumstances were reversed. Maybe you’ve even been this girl.

You cannot refer to her as crazy
Your ex can, but he still had a relationship with her. You can’t say she’s crazy. It’s like talking about how you hate your drunken aunt, but realizing you’d be horribly insulted if anyone else did that…

Let this be a reminder not to be crazy
If you break up with someone, you need to not be this girl. Emotions will be high. There is always a possibility that you could snap and start doing crazy stuff. You will certainly want to.

But at a certain point, you learn that life is fundamentally about minimizing regrets. You also learn that you will wait a few months, or years, and you will heal, and you will fall in love with someone else, you will fall in love with a lot of someone elses…

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