I don’t expect anyone to have noticed my absence from the internet over the last few days. This week for the most part, I’ve been on a deathbed. It may have had something to do with being in Syracuse last weekend to watch my alma mater beat Duke (Go Orange!) or it may have something to do with thinking that I could come back to DC and go straight into a bar to watch the Super Bowl. Whatever it was, I’m just glad that sometime around 3AM on Thursday my fever of 101 degrees broke with the help of a good night’s sweat.
I’m not sure any of you has ever been home on bed rest before but it’s not much to do. I swear it used to seem like a good idea to play hooky but as I’ve gotten older I realized that playing hooky alone is boring. I mean seriously the only thing that there was to do was watch ESPN, movies and TV; online or on the television. In my position of in and out of the ability to stay awake I accomplished one thing; I caught up on all of my shows.
I’m a Showtime guy. Most of my favorite shows are there, I respect it more, it’s not as fashionable and trendy as HBO and like I recently heard on Community, “I don’t start watching shows until they’re so old that it’s no longer a statement to watch them.” Yep, that’s a shot at all of you who watch HBO. Therefore, two of my favorite shows right now are on; House of Lies and Shameless. And since I was bored a couple years ago, I started watching Girls. (HBO’s weird attempt to have a show with great writing that didn’t appeal to the masses but only to a niche market which in turn forces the masses to watch because it would be rude not to watch. Don’t worry that will all make sense much later in life.)
With all that TV watching, I was bound to come up with a few takeaways, seven to be exact:
(Full disclosure: I haven’t been around many people or read a lot of blogs to have a ton of material for this week’s post, TV was my muse.)
- Women do messed up shit too – Fiona (Shameless) is a hoe. That girl has the uncanny ability to always mess up a good thing with her horrible vag politics. I won’t come down too hard on Fiona because it’s less about her and more about the need for men to remember that we aren’t the only ones who do dirt.
- Sometimes the most simplistic and archaic men can be the best men – Isn’t Adam (Girls) the best? It may be that he’s surrounded by a ton of crazy, psychotic, indecisive and annoying characters but there’s something about Adam that makes him our favorite.
- Women have a sweet spot for the inherently flawed man – [opens can of beer] Welp, my dad always said, I’d land on my feet. Just kidding, lol. If you’ve seen the shows you know that most of the male characters have some inherent flaws. Whether it’s their inability to share their real feelings or their inability to share the feelings with tact, it’s a flaw for which women have a sweet spot.
- If you tell a woman the absolute truth, she either sleeps with you, slaps you in the face or slaps you in the face and then sleeps with you – In both Shameless and Girls two of the main female characters receive real feedback from the men around them about themselves and then they sleep with the men anyway. Well damn, I wish I had known that a long time ago.
- Women think they can hide their true feelings by acting like a bitch – Jeannie (House of Lies) can keep acting like she doesn’t have feelings for Marty. She can do that all season as annoying as it may be but it just makes it painfully obvious to everyone (but Marty) that she is still madly in love with him.
- Love doesn’t need to make sense to anyone but the people in it – If there is anything that is a silver lining between all three shows it the fact that some of these relationships do not make any sense. I can’t seem to wrap my head around a boy who likes boys, who is in a relationship with a girl who thinks she’s a boy. You know what? I don’t have to do that though.
- Our kids are growing up way too fast – In all seriousness, a lot of the things that happen to the kids on Shameless and House of Lies to some extent is happening way too early. Over the holidays I’ve been in a constant half-serious conversation with friends about when to start talking about sex with their children. These shows make it painfully obvious that when we’re a parent that’s probably going to need to be age 10.
1) #4 and #6 is pure gospel. I'm still not gonna cosign an obviously abusive relationship my friend tries to justify by acting like she's Tiny & her man's TI, but aside from the painfully destructive, The only people it matters to are the people in it.
2) To your #7, the chex talk begins in stages as soon as your child is to be around large groups of other children. I got my first talk at age 4. This will make sense later.
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4 is young! I wonder what that conversation sounded like? – I’m shaking my head for your parents lol
Don't. The first time I was touched inappropriately, I was four. Without the first stage of "the talk", I would not have known to tell my mother & get it immediately squashed because I would not have understood what was happening. The next time it happened, I was eight. You don't know what other children come to school with learned from their homes.
The way it works is you start the talk by making the child aware of their body parts, how theirs differ, and what is appropriate and inappropriate for "playtime" with friends or time with adults. You move on from there to mechanics, then logistics, as age appropriate.
My recent post Moda por Menos-the Lupita Edition!!!
Amaris I so respect your honesty & courage to share something so personal. With the pervs floating around these days the talk does need to occur earlier & if parents aren’t ready for that then at least the “good touch, bad touch” talk needs to happen. Sounds like your mom handled it perfectly.
I used to hold talks for high school girls so sometimes I have to remember to not be so clinical about it, lol. But yeah, it's just a general awareness that helps the kid, not necessarily specifics.
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You've been killing these lists, yo.
#3 is true. Everyone is inherently flawed. But, lots of men have trouble owning the one that makes them feel the most vulnerable. When you can own it (and even when you can't), we go into nurturer mode. We want to help you through it. We feel needed. It's definitely a lure…that can have horrible consequences, lol.
#4 is definitely something that men really need to grasp and stop thinking you just can't be honest with us for whatever reason. I'd actually say that A and C are probably the most common responses, lolol. She really will love you MORE for telling the truth…even if it hurts her.
And about #7, my kids are 9 and 6…we have not talked about chex. The only thing that I've told them is that it is a great thing (not nasty) and that they are too young to put too much thought into it…that it has it's place in marriage and that when they are old enough, we will discuss it in depth. And also, if someone tries to do anything chexual with them, they are to inform us parentals so we can kill (as in murder) everyone involved, LOL.
#5 is true but I would also say that women sometimes show their true feelings about someone by acting like a b**** (e.g. Marty's ex-wife on House of Lies).
I find the reaction to Marty's son on House of Lies to be fascinating. While it is good that everyone on the show does not seem to have a problem with his lifestyle, I am not so sure of the realism of that situation. I would have thought that someone would have a "What is wrong with this boy?" moments.
Great Shows. I have yet to dabble in Girls yet. I haven't been moved. Is it worth it?
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I started having the foundations of "The Talk" at 11. and that was back in 99 so I think 10 is actually right on the money. At least just the real basics.
I actually disagree with #6. When love doesn’t make sense it’s usually involve one party lying to themselves (about what the relationship really is) and it’s a disaster waiting to happen.
[“I don’t start watching shows until they’re so old that it’s no longer a statement to watch them.”]
I'm the same way. Hence why I'm about to finally start watching 24 tonight.
Great list. Funny how shows tend to have the same prevalent "lessons" or observation regardless of it has a male or female lead. #2 – #4 are gospel. As quick as most women would be to call Adam an a**hole, he's the type of man you'll never have to wonder with. Can't help but respect that archaic transparency.
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I have to agree about Fiona, though I feel for her. But really with Frank for a father, what male role model did she have? On that score, what female role model did she have? So despite her horrible vag politics, as you put it, I think she's doing better than they did. And she's self-aware. And she's got Veronica around to ask her the difficult questions. That girl is like her therapist.
I worry more about Debbie. There really doesn't need to be another female Gallagher to go down that road. Debbie is thirteen years old. Hope the apples start falling further than Frank, Monica and Fiona, goodness.
Your description of "Girls" is spot on…LOL! Haven't really watched Shameless or House of Lies, but your analysis of the show and characters of "Girls" was good. Adam is a man of few words, loves hard, enjoys rough sex, and is probably the only character experiences peace in his own unique way. Nice post and glad you're well.