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This week I wrote a post over for the good folks over at MadameNoire. Now the premise of this post was what factors into when a man will go from the “we on a break” phase and get to the “let’s get back right” phase. Although I feel that ultimatums are the absolute worst when it comes to a relationship with a guy, it may be necessary. There’s a lot to be said in this conversation but what I really want to convey is that it’s important to note that the guy may not always be operating from a place of deceit or immaturity.

In a perfect world, when a couple goes through a hard time and has to make a decision as to whether their relationship is worth continuing, they decide that it is. However, that’s not really what happens. The reality is people usually take breaks, they date other people, and focus solely on themselves for a bit, and it’s not until they “feel” like it that they get back together. I’ll tell you up front, both men and women do this. I’ve seen a guy wait around for over a year while a woman sorted her life (and loins) out.

As it pertains to men, after the breakup that reconciliation period or time away from the relationship is their time to “live.” When you break up you not only want to fix your relationship but yourself too. Relationships can be taxing on other parts of your life and that can lead to you dropping the ball on other things. For example, when you’re in a relationship you may have put that business plan or great book idea to the side to focus on your relationship. After the breakup you may want to reconcile, but first you think you’ll be much happier in that relationship if you are able to get your business up and running.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when a guy knows that reconciliation is an option, but he spends a long time dilly dallying around with other women. He’s on a relationship vacation. This can be a good thing and it can be a bad thing. On one hand, you want a guy to get all that out of his system before getting back in a relationship. (That’s if it’s possible for him to get it out of his system.) On the other hand, you don’t want a guy who wants to have a bunch of fun with Lord knows who and then get back with you when he’s ready. This is why a relationship (and a breakup) has to be a mutually agreed upon thing and both people have to go into it that way.

Read the solution and full article over at MadameNoire.

See Also:  Don’t Believe Her, She’s Lying: 4 Things Women Say They Don’t Mean

Have you guys ever had a time when you’re were on “break” and the guy or girl seemed to just keep holding out for a reconciliation? I know I have. Have a good Friday and remember to make it a great weekend.

Dr. J