It’s no secret that men and women are wired differently. These differences show themselves in a myriad of ways. We spend more time than we’d like to admit just scratching our heads at one another. It’s why I and other SBM writers write. We seek to bridge a gap with understanding.  We’re a melting pot of perspectives. We know full well that there’s more than one way to skin a cat. With that said…

Why do some ladies mess with men they don’t really like?

What do I mean? Well in the past I have asked women this same question. Here’s what I’ve gathered.  Their logic is that it’s easier to be involved sexually at times with a guy they’re not emotionally connected to. I know this is not what all women may think. The truth is that some do share that sentiment though. When I use the word “like” I’m not referring to physical attraction. I’m talking about really being into someone. Some ladies don’t want to risk being hurt. So in that breath it makes sense to them to get their “fix” from a guy that they could care less about beyond their needs.

Well we happen to be in a free country.

And I can certainly understand the logic, especially as a defense mechanism.  But conversely this can also backfire on you ladies. The barometer that is used for a guy you want to sleep with has to be tweaked. At the very least you want to be dealing with a guy who still has your best interest. You want him to respect your wishes. It’s not the best idea to simply deal with someone because you don’t think you’d be hurt by them.

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I’ve certainly talked to women in the past who have told me they didn’t want to mess with me because they really liked me. As a teen and in my early twenties it boggled my mind. Now as I think about it, I sort of get it. But to you ladies I ask you is it worth it? The cons of dealing sleeping with a guy you aren’t into in terms of personality etc. can leave ugly marks. In some settings it can mean defamation. In other situations it could mean mistreatment of you.

None of you deserve to be treated in such a way.

You owe it to yourselves to protect yourself a bit better. My advice is that if you want to be sexual without feelings, a guy’s personality still has to be taken into account. I know many dudes lie. How you decide to weed guys out is completely up to you. Don’t negate the fellas you do like either. They’re the ones who really do have your best interest at heart. In my experience, the same ladies who were reluctant to be involved with me eventually were. I’m not bragging by a long shot. I say that to say that I now had an opportunity to show them that I could treat them in the respectful manner in which they deserved.

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So today I just wanted to add a little perspective. Give a little food for thought. If you’ve been a lady to turn down guys that you really might like. Don’t rule out tweaking your gameplan. You can still create a situation that works for you. Do any ladies relate to this scenario? Let’s speak on it.

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS  – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status