If I had a dollar for every time I heard this phrase, I still wouldn’t be rich, but I could go on one hell of an Amazon shopping spree. But my first stop would probably be the liquor store, because whenever I hear it, that’s the only thing preventing me from strangling the offending party. Let me state this early, and probably often; my woman’s happiness is very important to me. It is probably one of the MOST important things to me. But here’s the question that many women will call selfish and many men will only cheer for quietly because they’re scared of their women. Why is her happiness more important than mine?

Now, in the grand scheme of things, I probably spend a lot more time making sure she’s comfortable, settled and generally satisfied than I do worrying about myself. But I do this knowing that she’s right next to me doing the same. So, my beef isn’t with her, it’s with the usually perpetually single, bitter or man eating women that like to spit out that tired, cliched line. We hear constantly how we’re to treat our women like queens, but what the hell are we, the court jesters?

The notion that as long as my woman is happy, I shouldn’t worry about anything else is at best laughable, at worst, damaging to potentially great relationships. The last thing anyone should want to do in a relationship is lose who they are because that’s who your woman fell in love with in the first place. Because of that, we shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice our own happiness for anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I compromise. We went to Papa John’s instead of Pizza Hut last week. We bought the car with the grey interior instead of the beige and when she said not tonight, I completely ignored the urge to scream WHY THE F*** NOT?!?!? Compromise is essential to a successful relationship, so I recognize that no one will ALWAYS be happy and that’s truly the nature of that phrase.

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The idea of “Happy wife, happy life” is that, if you treat your woman right, love her and respect her, the admiration and respect she’ll have for you will create a great bond and everyone will be harmonious. However, as with many misconstrued quotes over time, this one has been bastardized beyond recognition, transformed into “Do what I say or your life will be hell.” I wince whenever I hear it, and fight the urge to ask “Do you know what happiness really is?” My wife doesn’t want a beat down man, afraid to speak his mind, therefore, she has also learned the art of compromise. If we are to treat our women like queens, then we are to be kings. What does that mean to you?

Love=Balance, Balance=Love

-Tony B

Tony B is a lover of all and a fighter for worldwide equality. He resides in Los Angeles with his wife of 4 years, two dogs and soon to be daughter Aria. You can read more about his life, loves and pursuits in his blog Childhusbandfather.com