The Reality List (10 Truths Every Brother Should Know)

#1 Reality – Find Yourself Through God First and Foremost

Too often, we look for validation from the world. You’re not going to believe this, but the world doesn’t like us too much. Therefore, you’ve got to find your strength from the Lord. In developing a relationship with Him, we find a better sense of self and we can gain our self-confidence in a healthier way. Try these verses:
a. Matthew 6:33
b. Proverbs 3:5-6
c. John 3:16
d. Deuteronomy 31:6
e. Psalms 16: 5-8
Take it or leave it.

#2 Reality – If You Want a Quality Chick, You’ve Got to be a Quality Dude

We can talk about the cars, the houses, college degrees, credit scores, valid driver licenses, vacations and dinner dates if you want. But you can’t discount the character traits. If you’re looking for a wifey, consider working on yourself in those areas in which money can’t buy, like trustworthiness, consistency, resolve, mannerisms, eloquence, posture, attitude, and language.

#3 Reality – Go Hard Today, Can’t Worry ‘Bout the Past Cuz that was YehhSterday

Especially pertinent for the urban brother, the thing you can’t do is complain about your situation. Most likely, the only thing mom and dad (if you have one) passed down to you are love and encouragement. There’s often no generation wealth or generational education to give you that head start. Nobody’s buying your car. No one is getting you a house. No one is going to take you out to dinner, wine you and dine you, and let you chill. No one is buying you a drink. No one is paying for your school. And do you know what the best part is? No one really gives a crap that you’re shorthanded… especially those lovely ladies. Such is life, right?

Yet and still, you’re expected to rise up, make a way out of no way, and one day support a family – the way society says we need to. You’ve got to bypass the bullcrap, sidestep the snares, and then Manny Pacquiao poverty. A lot of bros don’t make it, which is why they run and hide.

But that’s not you, and you know it. So, don’t avoid the inevitable. You’ve got to go hard. Coasting along on auto will have you looking more mediocre than a hospital lunch. If you’re ever going to avoid the Party and BS Paycheck to Paycheck Corollary, you know what you’ve got to do. That means longer work days; more focus, and double shifts, whatever. Forget about the past, and remember, tomorrow isn’t promised. So go hard. Get it done. It’ll pay off in the end.

#4 Reality – You Should Have at Least One Tailored Suit and a Pair of Dress Shoes

Just trust me on this one.

#5 Reality – You Should Travel… Abroad

My best friend Reggie told me about this guy he knows that never left West Philadelphia. And he was 22. Never become that guy. Do yourself a favor, go to a computer, get online, and book yourself a trip on hotwire.com Even if you go by yourself, it’ll be worth the ride.

#6 Reality – No Matter How You Try to Spin It, Chances are… You’ve Got to Finish Your Education

Don’t BS me on this. I can’t even BS me on this. If your sisters can do it…

#7 Reality – Delayed Gratification is Most Likely Inevitable… Get it Over With

“A great issue with our people is our obsession with instant gratification,” so says Reggie the genius. “Anger usually ensues when you don’t focus and use patience.” Well said.

At some point in your life, you’re just going to have to go under. There will be some lonely nights, you will not be hitting the club every weekend, and the money will not come flying in your hand – you know, legally – so you know that if you want to be successful like Trey Songz and Drake, just know it doesn’t come overnight.

#8 Reality – You Should Always Dig Deeper
Ask questions. Real questions like, “Why am I here?” “Why do people feel a certain way about xyz?” “Why is my life like this?” “How long is this freaking note?”

#9 Reality – Get Your Driver’s License

Being 30 and not having a license is like talking to a woman that doesn’t cook. At all. Get me?

#10 Reality – Treat the Women Right

I don’t want to sound sappy like my main man Hill Harper, but I just can’t imagine that life lets you get away with screwing women over. Actually, it doesn’t. Ask (fill in the famous athlete).

Why be a jerk? At the end of the day, it all comes back around.

I’m not ashamed to say how I feel. Life is reality. The game is always changing and representing itself like a supermodel on the runway. And it continuously calls for challenge. That is our lifetime irritation, your personal irritant. If you don’t succeed, you’ll most likely be vilified by society as if you’re a leper. Succeed, and you’ve got to high-five the haters, mix through the minefield of pitfalls, and attempt faithfulness amidst a diversified sea of available women.

Nevertheless, I see nothing but good things for you in your future. The beautiful thing is that God has equipped us with all the tools and skills to make it. They say knowledge is power. Actually, knowledge in action is power. Use it well, my man. Good luck.

Nathan Wilson is a pro-writer, pro-sports enthusiast, and is flat out pro-black. Check out his musings at www.thecolorcurve.com.