[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HVcFyF-mco]
Very Smart Brotha’s touched on interracial dating recently, and damned if they didn’t spell it out in very simple terms why many of us have dated outside the race.
Watching this clip brought me back to college really quick. I went to a PWI (predominantly white institute) … so interracial dating and “hooking up” was very popular. I was in the car with my ex and we’re driving past some bars.
“Thats a damn shame” she utters
“Yeah … its a rack of people out”
“No … not that. I’m talking about them” as she points her fingers to 2 black guys talking to 3 white girls
“What’s wrong with that” I ask
“They’re trying to talk to white girls. F*cking Punks”
Now … I can’t help but agree with VSB, we are men first. Outside of a club, trying to go home with something, race just isn’t a major driving force. Don’t get mad at him … its his choice. If he preaches of the greatness of white women … different story … but let him get some head tonight.
Thanks to Hasani for the link.
Why is there so much anger to interracial dating from Black Women? Why is it wrong to honestly like someone outside the race? Are all black women really angry, or is that an unfair stereotype?
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I blame it on SOME black women. If black women wouldn't have that exclusivity issue when it comes to black men, then it wouldn't be such an issue. (some) Black women are loyal to a fault when it comes to only dating black men, and those are usually the ones who have an issue with black men dating interracially.
Get yourself a white/asian/hispanic man; and stop worry about why he chooses to date a white woman.
The main issue I have is when you hear the reasons why black men choose to date interracially.
"Oh black women have nasty attitudes"
"Black women this…black women that"
Self-hate much?
Don't negate a whole race of women to justify your reasoning in dating outside of your race.
I can't remember the last time I heard a white man feel the need to talk about white women in a negative light as his reasoning for dating black women. But you hear it from black men all the time.
Personally, being raised by parents in an interracial marriage, taught me to see things from a different perspective. I saw the good and bad. But my father, who's Irish, taught me that love shouldn't be narrowed down to a persons skin color, but do it out of love not out of spite.
I'm still watching the video…but DAMN if SEAL aint fine as hell up in this video.
LMAO @ Comeback Girl's comment above!
I can't view the video from work…so I will comment on the video a little later (after I'm home and can view it). However, I've never been "upset" about a black man dating a woman outside of his race. I guess it's because I have such a mix in my own family. However, if he's doing it out of spite for his own race of women…then yes, I do have a problem with that. Everyone has their own preference so to each his or her own. Just don't demean your own race of women in the process. Ya know?
Excellent points (fŭng'kē) [blak] [chik].
I say Do it well do it good…wait was that a song. Thanks SBM for the post. I have put myself on VSB punishment mainly cause when I'm on there I can't get no damn work done.
Anyway, I down for choice. I think when PEOPLE realize that their experience should be opened to dating whomever they wish, the anger goes away. I have been on the fence in the past with dating a white man primarily because in the DC area you get A LOT of flack in public. VOCAL flack FROM BLACK MEN. If I was living in NYC, I would do it in a heart beat…wait…I actually did. I know I shouldn't worry about what other people think. My preference is for Black men. but I have seen some White one's who make think preference BE DAMNED.
What I don't like are BLACK men who try and scapegoat other BLACK women as an excuse. I've actually dated a few black men where I was one of the first black women that they had EVER dated. And I won't do this again either. Black men like these, I have little in common with, their conversations are TOTALLY different. Their world view is different. And when other Black women get mad about it I used to always say…girl get happy, he's out of your (dating) pool and 9 times out of 10 you would have VERY VERY little to talk about, the white girls (for this one are doing you a favor). Shout hallelujah. And I'm not sayingt this a diss. I can't fault a man for liking what he likes. I can however appreciate those who have a sample of experiences WITHOUT the hate.
So I guess Hasani is being beckoned…and we will all wait on his senior thesis and 35 page paper.
Ms Freckles….wait till you see the vid. He is FINE. Djimon Houson FINE. Shakesperian actor SEAL fine. Yes Lord.
You made some excellent points to
FYI…that's not Seal in the video..
Seal wished he looked that good…
That's Jean Louis, he plays the "Haitian" on Heros..and is a Haitian/Model/Actor..and is married to a black woman..lol
Wow. First I'll say thank to SBM for the early morning chocolate. I'll need a minute to gain my composure. Whew.
Wow. First I'll say thanks to SBM for the early morning chocolate. I'll need a minute to gain my composure. Whew.
I know it wasn't Seal..but he was giving me Seal/Dijimon…thanks for the name.
Sorry about the double post guys. I'm still a bit new to this.
There are a few questions we as a people need to ask ourselves: Why are our women so "angry?" Have I ever been (or caused) an "angry black woman?" If so, why and how (will/did) I change?
The discussions are important but the healing process must begin once they're over. We're all quick to say what we will and won't deal with in each other; that's all fine and dandy. But this all goes beyond relationship talk. We have a responsibility to heal what was wounded for hundred of years if we're ever to prosper as a people.
I'm off my soapbox now :o)
See … thats whats really wrong wiht black women. I post a video touching on interracial dating and the "angry black woman" syndrome, and ya'll can't get past the looks of the bald headed protaganist!
I've gotten a lot better than I used to be about interrracial relationships. A LOT BETTER. That took some maturity on my part. And some logical reasoning: do I want a black man who exclusively dates out?? Probably not. He didn't want my black ass either so why I am getting my pressure up.
I will admit giving the side eye to black men with busted ass white chicks. I still don't understand that because generally when I see a sister with a white guy he's generally fire.
Some general thoughts/questions:
I agree with the other ladies that men who date out should own their shit and quit dumping on black women to justify why they date out. There are bitchy women across the spectrum. Quit tripping and own your shit.
If you have a black mama or sisters or aunties and you constantly date non-black women; how do you think that makes your black female family members feel?
If you have black daughters and you constantly date out, what do you think that's doing to the esteem and self worth of your child?
I am much more open to interracial dating on a personal level now and that also took some growth. I do wonder if white men would be open to dating black women who are plus sized. I'm a good solid brickhouse size 18 and whilst I'm currently shrinking, I'll never be a size 6. EVAR.
I certainly hope our resident whites-only dater, Eathan, drops by to give some input.
from the prospective of this video wouldn;'t this fine azz man be the ANTAGONIST. Do we have an literary geniuses in the audience?????
**DISCLAIMER**
I'm angry today, so the words that come thru my finger tips represent the enraged side of me.
**My Response**
Unfortunately, I couldn't not view the video (my job is stream-blocking). Anyway. I could care less if a black guy date a white chick. The stereotype is that they give better head anyway. SBM, that seems to be the top prior these days, right? What if I don't give head often? Maybe I want to reserve that for a special occassion? Maybe my mind would let my mouth embrace your manhood after I found out you were two different women in less than 24 hours?
Eatin' and fu@kin'. I've even heard that black women aren't "healthy." They too big, they don't woke out. I didn't hear that sh!t when that blk man was smacking his jaws on that hearty meal I pride myself of cooking.
In my ideal world right now, I would want all those "thug types", unemployed, narrow-minded suckas to go after those white women. Let me widen the scope a little because it's not just those "hoodlums" but even the simps who are ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS the victim. Professionals blk man, working class…whoever, where ever you are, just stop it – grow a back bone.
I want the white women to take one for the team and accept these trifling guys. We have been doing it for too long. Caring too much and loving a blk man too hard to go through so much bullsh!t. But I'm not bitter. Maybe my cousin who stick by her cheating man side is bitter… but not me. Maybe my mother, who didn't get a bit of child support from my pops YET he screaming the loudest at my college graduation as if he is paying back student loans, is mad…but I'm not mad. Perhaps my friend who allows her husband to "BE THE MAN" but wouldn't even work as a greeter at Wal-Mart is frustrated…but no need to be.
Damn it, I get tired of putting on a mask…making everyone happy. Do I know what I want from a man…yes and no. After my spirits and my self-esteem has been beat down by so many men, I know what I don't want. Why couldn't it be some other women they were tearing down? Oh, but they will go to the Hispanic community, wife Marie up, encourage he to go to community college, send he to get her hair done once every two weeks, make a little Pedro, and live happily ever after…but I can't be bitter?
Here I am, trying to find a piece of happiness, second guessing myself. I don't have a long laundry list of things I want from a man. Most men I meet don't meet my illustrated expectations but they treat me decent and I try to look past their "flaws" and view them as "blessings". Put a twist on that baggage claim and think of it as good experience. This percentage of men are in jail, that percentage of men are homosexuals, men between the age of this and that already have children…How many "perfect" men do we have left? Then, it gets to the point where women settle to share a man, married or involved. And women get looked down upon for being cheaters…that's because we have to piecemeal a perfect man.
I've digressed too much…Men and women should have the option to date whom the please, and feel comfortable about their decision. Whomever it is, treat them with respect and enjoy their company. If there are things that you aren't willing to stick around for or fight for, let it go. It will be healthier for both parties in the long run.
I dont have to say much do it?
look how many times I have come up with a point or an idea and a random female on this board would shoot me full of holes and negate a point I make by saying things like
"you dont know black women because you date WHITE WOMEN"
"you think a woman who is a size 14 is fat because you like WHITE WOMEN"
and my personal favorite
"You hate black women because you were with a WHITE WOMAN!!"
I notice its usually in capitals. Never mind my black sister who I have been with since birth my best friend who is also a black female (whom Ive never met) but somehow I "hate" black women?
No ladies, nobody is looking for an exscuse to date outside our race. Im the first one accused of that eventhough I am the only man who said "I AM ONLY LOOKING TO DATE BLACK WOMEN" and heres the good part of that statement "I have a weakness for DARK SKINNED black women"
yes I know its hard to confuse love of my Angie stone/Iman for wanting to secretly have a britney spears.
Black men dont need an excuse to leave, its already acceptable. especially for me, Ive already been out of your dating pool I dont need an excuse to date away again. I just happen to love black women if I can find one who dosent want to combat me EVERY damn day of my life and one who dosent hate me just because of what their fathers did to their mothers. Im not him and never will be, if you would stop fighting me I would love you til the day you die and a score of years past that into the after life…. ya just gotta let me.
(gym time.. if I get knocked out I wont be back til sunday morning… again)
1) Angie Stone is bigger than a size 14
2) Iman is my grandmother's age
3) I just got a gym membership over the weekend…and silly guys, I'm not working out for you…no, no, no…I'm working out for me…
"(gym time.. if I get knocked out I wont be back til sunday morning… again)"
…here's to hoping. *fingers crossed*
"from the prospective of this video wouldn;’t this fine azz man be the ANTAGONIST. Do we have an literary geniuses in the audience?????"
he's the protagonist, the chics are the antangonist…he's the main character and they are opposing and struggling what he's doing in the video i.e. interracial dating.
struggling with*
@Comeback: The protaganist is defined as the main character and also the hero or heroine of a story. Since I completely side with him and the whole scene is used to invoke symptathy for him and paint these salty, mean sprited, man-less, and angry black women as the enemy … I think protganist works.
@Tiffany: As long as the black man in question who is "stepping out" doesn't discredit black women as he dates others, I don't think that whould affect the moral of his family or offspring. If the guy is gay, doesn't the same thing happen. If he dates a thick woman and his family is skinny, isn't it the same effect?
@Daisy: So do you think Black Women are angry in general?
@funkyblackchick: At what point does a man earn the right to make these generalizations? I don't do it myself, but I have been on the recieving end of the "n*gga aint sh*t" argument soooooo much … that damn it if I don't want to fire back.
And Brittany Spears of all white pop icons…shame, shame, shame…
Earn the right? There is no rhyme or reason ever to make blanket statements…I don't care if you're a black man or woman. When you box everyone into the same catergory, how narrow minded does that make you seem? I've come across tons of men, black/white/..etc..etc..who weren't shit…but I can only learn from those experiences, talk about them, write about them…and move on to the next.
As far as firing back? Fire back by proving you're anything but their generalizations.
Dammit I said I wasn't going to respond to this post after 2 days of fussing with white, asian and latino chics about why it's none of their business why we feel the way we do about our black men stepping out…and 666(no lie, eerie isn't it) comments later this is what it comes down to:
We(black women) are sensitive about our men dating interracially because they are so insensitive to our sensivity. When seeing a black man with an "other" it makes us feel like deep down inside somewhere we weren't good enough, that we failed. And considering that we see ourselves as the backbone to our race, it tugs at our heart a little…especially if he's successful, and then we feel a sense of betrayal.
And no matter how much people want to discount that our generation hasn't known the struggles of our ancestors, we still carry pieces of that hurt in our heart. The symbolism of dating white women back then has carried over to our generation. We see it in a new form, men become successful and they go out and get a "trophy," or someone who assimilates easily into the lifestyle they are trying to portray. This isn't the case in all situations but it's the hurt of the possibility of said situation that pains upon seeing a black man dating interracial.
Your insensitivity fuels our insecurities, and yall know we don't like being insecure, so we embrace anger instead. We can't fix this problem until black men stop copping out and using the "we're men first" statement, and try a little loyalty to, at the very least, our community being able to have an honest conversation for a change. We aren't going to get over our insecurities and sensitivity to this until we address the issue of your insensitivity…b/c sweetheart SOCIETY sees you as Black FIRST, you're a man second…and no white, asian or hispanic women is going to change that.
Hey, I'm off my rant, but Teacia..nicely put. Ladies, we can drive forward looking thru the rearview.
@ SBM: No. I don't think that black women are angry in general. I think our assertiveness and independence is often misinterpreted as anger. I think it's hard for us to find the balance between survival and womanhood because for so generations we've had to place our "womanly characteristics" on hold to survive and take care of our families. Couple that with the fact that most of us grow up in households without positive male role models and you have what society deems as an "angry black woman."
@Neonnea: Gurl, I feel you…You aren't alone.
@Teacia: That was a fabulous statement. Real talk at it's finest.
Daisy I'm going to post a couple of excerpts from the Willie Lynch Letters, this touches on what you're saying..and although I know these were written during slavery, I feel a pain in my gut everytime I read them…thanks to NY on VSB for providing the info:
We breed two nigger males with two nigger females. Then, we take the nigger male away from them and keep them moving and working. Say one nigger female bears a nigger female and the other bears a nigger male; both nigger females—being without influence of the nigger male image, frozen with a independent psychology—will raise their offspring into reverse positions. The one with the female offspring will teach her to be like herself, independent and negotiable (we negotiate with her, through her, by her, negotiates her at will). The one with the nigger male offspring, she being frozen subconscious fear for his life, will raise him to be mentally dependent and weak, but physically strong; in other words, body over mind. Now, in a few years when these two offsprings become fertile for early reproduction, we will mate and breed them and continue the cycle. That is good, sound and long range comprehensive planning.
Hasani its ironic that you show your brother SBM this video and YOU APPEAR to be the angry one. How many times have you called all of us fat, stupid, bitter etc. Last time I checked those arent terms of endearment. And you just seem so out of touch, as Neonnea pointed out Iman is closer to 60 than I am to 40. So how does she even get into this particular discussion, unless we are talking about enterprising women who look great for 55+.
I think your anger is misplaced. You have a right to date whomever you so choose. But your game is wack. You can't even decide if you want to be nice most days, who in the hell wants to date a black men who finds reasons to degrade you physically…when he's frustrated mentally. You always find all these psychological reasons (without substantial data) about why non-black women are married more. You attribute it to characteristics that you believe black women don't have. That really is YOUR problem. I'm not having any problems meeting decent black men (and while I don't always feel that FIRE I'm looking for, I'm happy right now). maybe the deeper question is why YOU ARE BITTER. WHY YOU LASH OUT AND CALL US NAMES degrading names on the regular.
I can check the tape, but no one on here HAS ever called you fat (though you have called yourself that-in the words of black chick "self hate much??" In actuality and in fairness to you, your actually more degrading toyourself than you are to any of us. Maybe you should get that checked out, the next time you want to blame black women for destroying the family/marital structure.
Comeback why do you even bother, he's just going to say that he's using statistical and factual evidence and if we don't like it to change it. He's also going to go on about how he's not singleing anyone out and we only get upset b/c it applies to us. At the end of the day he is wack.
He constantly puts himself down, even when we dismiss and encourage him to better himself, he's quick to point out what we're not doing and how statistics aren't in our favor..all the while forgetting that he himself is also a black man and the statistics are kind of bleek there as well if not more. But if we tell him to change it, he will just point to his godfathering skills and how he gives back to his local boyscout troop all the while doing nothing to better himself. It's this thing, he like mediocricy, it gives him an excuse to cite his singleness, it must be our fault that we don't like someone who constantly is putting himself down, us down and lack any ambition to better himself…all the while pointing out what's lacking in every of facet of life.
Again I say his entire mentality is wack. I think Jigga said it best(re-phasing of course), "if you can't understand that your entire disposition is wack, then maybe you'll understand it when i fade to black." Again I don't know why you even bother.
second excerpt from Willie Lynch:
Therefore, we shall go deeper into this area of the subject matter concerning what we have produced here in this breaking process of the female nigger. We have reversed the relationship; in her natural uncivilized state, she would have a strong dependency on the uncivilized nigger male, and she would have a limited protective tendency toward her independent male offspring and would raise male offsprings to be dependent like her.
Nature had provided for this type of balance. We reversed nature by burning and pulling a civilized nigger apart and bullwhipping the other to the point of death, all in her presence. By her being left alone, unprotected, with the MALE IMAGE DESTROYED, the ordeal caused her to move from her psychologically dependent state to a frozen, independent state. In this frozen, psychological state of independence, she will raise her MALE and female offspring in reversed roles. For FEAR of the young male’s life, she will psychologically train him to be MENTALLY WEAK and DEPENDENT, but PHYSICALLY STRONG. Because she has become psychologically independent, she will train her FEMALE offsprings to be psychologically independent. What have you got? You’ve got the nigger WOMAN OUT FRONT AND THE nigger MAN BEHIND AND SCARED. This is a perfect situation of sound sleep and economics.
One thing I definitely need to point out is while Black women are often characterized as angry, mad, and controlling are penalized as such, the "n*ggas aint sh*t" movement has been gaining a lot of traction.
When I started this blog I scoured the net looking for other black relationship blogs. At a time before VSB, I found a LOT of anti-black men websites. There were a lot of people telling black women to date white men and to stop putting up with the lazy, unempoloyed, and undereducated black man.
In addition, I experience it all the time. Its to the point where I hate approaching a female in regular street clothes (T-shirt & jeans), because she too often assumes I'm not doing sh*t. When I walk around in my BCBG Tie & Van Huessen shirts, I get a completely different response and its always "Wow … you don't have any kids!".
I don't know why it just hit me, but some of this unfair self-hating stereotyping goes both ways!
SBM I thoroughly agree…and there is no excuse for either's behavior.
I agree Teacia. I will have to come on later to read the Willie Lynch excerpts…this is not really easy reading, you have to really ponder some of this. Anyway…You are right about Hasani too. He will come on here with more excuses than a little bit, but it is so self-evident to me why maybe he hasn't gotten his professional life together either as he professes not even being proificient enough to do his job.
Im all for the love peace and nappyness, but what about putting some of that love into what you do, into professional endeavors. Househusbands are great for some women but at least have a nice stash and some accomplishments before you hangup your briefcase for an apron.
@Comeback & Teacia: Ya'll must really be infactuated with our boy as much as you two talk about him.
Maybe you could both meet him here and give him a "special experience" …
meet who were??? Hasimeister??? LOL
He is the most vocal and the most inciting of dissent. And then tries to pass of garbage as truth and then throw random 8 year old numbers out and then draw wacky conclusions. I mean I'm just utterly fascinated.
Hasani its ironic that you show your brother SBM this video and YOU APPEAR to be the angry one. How many times have you called all of us fat, stupid, bitter etc. Last time I checked those arent terms of endearment.
I dont know… post quotes of me calling someone by name fat stupid or ect ect.
we dont even have to leave this PAGE to see you guys dissin me calling me stupid or talking ill of my life.
hell we can go back 1 page and see
"I love you I need you I cant understand you I cant reach you" … sounds like an ANGRY man to me
the counter the next post to that?
"I dont love you, I dont need you , I do understand you I dont want you" sounds happy and love filled to me.
an this goes on not only on the blog but in corporate american and real life. like I said, the blog at times is a microcosm of real world.
if I had a dollar for every time I reached out to comeback girl only to be met with venom I would be as rich as Ivanah trump. dispite both of us being single, inteligent and good looking (not to mention I am alot of the things on her "checklist") shes still so angry at me and wont try to at least meet me and have a civil date.
Im SERIOUSLY tired of fighting, and I always have been. I didnt date a white woman because I viewed her as a trophy. what kinda shit it that? I dated her because I fell in love with her the moment I saw her, and i was single because my former girlfriend had no respect for me and wasnt nice towards the end. I didnt want to fight all the time and I didnt like the talking down to me… so I left. I was tired of fighting 🙁
"Van Huessen shirts"
who the hell is Van Huessen is this a new brook brother's collection.
Maybe its in your swagg SBM there are tons of guys that I know who can rock one of those cute tattoo tee and some jeans..and look rather pulled together. It could also be the incessant use of slang…i mean are you going up to some DC women (that you can't stand btw) using the words "cakin'". How can you even filter the one's you can't stand from the beloved Texan ones..shall I go back to your description of them (and reference the not so nice one).
I havent gotten my professional life together?
I worked my way from the loading dock to a tier 2.5 tec spot… have you and your god damn pedigreed prissy ass done that or have you been sitting in a cubicle since day 1? climb the ladder as far as I have… I didnt say higher… I just make as many steps… then call me.
When you go to buy your nephew that copy of "Two Worlds" on Xbox… look at the back THATS MY QUOTE ON THE BOX
and while your at it, ya may wanna buy him a copy of "Assassins creed" as well….. oh and thats my quote, my words and my feelings that just so happened to make it on the back of a multi million dollar grossing product.
I cant seem to google you two guys names and come up with anything…
no I dont make money if thats what your getting at. Wanna know why? Cuz I dont like to argue and fight and have a fear of getting yelled at, so I dont negotiate salary and always take what the first offer is 🙂 Im happy and always happy just to be working and to be where I am in life. Im not a power hungry succubus.
And last I checked your family and home life are what the lord and others will judge you on and not how far you are on the corporate ladder. I have loved and loved others and had others love me as much as I them. I continue to attempt to do so.
Comeback….The ironic thing… if Im so good at making a home and love life.. and your such a wizard at the corporate world.. why arent we going on dates and helping eachother insted of fighting over a god damn blog!?!?!?!?!?
"I dont know… post quotes of me calling someone by name fat stupid or ect ect.
we dont even have to leave this PAGE to see you guys dissin me calling me stupid or talking ill of my life."
hmm…."get off your fat ass and look for the statistics" I don't have the time to do a boolean search here looking for "fat ass" but most assured those comments came from you.
do you have some type of amnesia when it comes to what do you write? Since I don't really find fat ass alluring or a pick up line or respectful to refer to ANYONE. You are not consistant which leads me to believe that you are either forgetful or on some mood altering RX. (no judgements). I can talk about relationships I had in grade school. Actually I had a boyfriend from 3-7 grade, can I count adolescent relationships, since you can reference your SIX years of such. ''
Your white lady friend, you seem to not be quite over. You've NEVER uttered a bad word about her EVER aside from the argument about garder belts LOL. How did that end? Why can't you go back and make that 10 year situation work with her? Were you overcome with this black love in this relationship with home girl?
ummmmm correction my comment to your response after you being completely belittling and condescending and then trying to clean it up with the garbage you stated above was this:
i don't love you, i don't need you, i do understand you but i could care less.
SBM even had to delete one of your comments that proceeded the nonsense b/c it was completely derogatory..if you're going to quote me, do it correctly. you LOVE the attention that we give you, you seek opposition because you need the communication for your ego. like i said before, if you can't understand that your whole perspective is wack, then maybe you'll understand it when i fade to black.
i summed you up in the comment above, i know what your retorts are going to be, i have your mentality down packed. you don't except any responsibility for your shit but you want for us to feel like living our lives successfully is inadequate and unfulfilling b/c we're single. well sadly Sani baby, you got it ALL wrong. yes i'm complete w/o a man but that doesn't mean that my life has no worth. i'm working on being the best me i can be, so i can attract the best man for me. so i suggest you do a little self-worth analysis and make a few changes if you ever want to be attractive a BLACK woman.
@SBM: I think I just threw up in my mouth after reading that.
SBM its funny you say that (and yes I love me van hussen shirts too) because a certain someone told me that because I dont own a pair of denim jeans I was attracting the wrong women. So I went out and got a pair of nice sean jean jeans.
now your finding the exact opposite is happening to you? man what to do what to do… a man could get TIRED with all this worrying 😐
I feel dont have the $$ to have street clothes so I only have my Vanhussen and ALfani shirts and Perry Ellis portfollio gaberdine pleated with cuffs micro fibre pants. and to the gym I wear plastics
"and to the gym I wear plastics"
nice visual. I just shoked on my ice tea. I thought only 50 year onld balding men wear these…please don't tell me you have a white or multicolored head band.
And now that I'm past the Black liberation moment, let me touch on this contrived video you posted. Why did all of her friends have to be single? Does that mean that only single black women have a problem with interracial dating? No. We all know that isn't the case but oh well. I have married and coupled homegirls who have an extreme distaste for mixed couples. I'm not "bitter" about his decision because I'm single, I'm bitter about because I'm black.
Also I wish that b@tch would have gotten out of the car to get his daughter…who the hell does she think she is. I have no problem with my daughter's father coming to get her with a chic in the car b/c honestly I don't want him…granted he's never brought a white woman around…but white, black or purple, if a chic actually had the nerve to approach my door she will be met with some serious ABWS…play with it if you want to.
And ladies what friends do you have that will disrespect you by cursing at your ex like that….trife. No matter how much I've disliked my daughter's father in the past, no one has ever tried me by cursing at him.
And why does a peaceful house signify something different and drama signifies black….shit latino chics are crazier than we are and white women are no different. Yeah we tend to voice our opinion more, but at the end of the day we ALL get angry. Do better SBM!
" gaberdine pleated with cuffs micro fibre pants"
dear Lord, please let this be some type of cotton-poly blend…its hot as hell outside.
the quote "get off your fat ass and do something about it" has been a term for ages my dear. Dont you go to the gym?
I dont say OMG YOUR FAT!!!! FATTY!! but if your being lazy about something.. dont be a lazy fat ass.. be proactive. now if you would just so happen to be fat.. you may get offended by hearing get off yoru fat ass.. ot which I would say. Stop being fat. its that easy.
we are a people who are known for working hard, overcoming and adapting to bad situation. The phrase
"Identify,Improvise, adapt and overcome" ring a bell? perhaps you have seen it somewhere?
well we are supposed to be progressing. But somehow we are worse off than out folks. Your grandmother loved your grandfather so much she broke her back to keep his home and his children happy. Your grandfather loved your granma so much he broke his back to make any dime he could to keep your mother fed and that house warm. so why the fuck do we fight like this?
(rant incomming)
In pakistani community.. there is a dire hatred of Indians. why? cuz they always think they are right.. duh. There is a battle back and forth over an area named Kashmir. dispite it having an obviously Islamic name and dispite both races being of the same genetic background… its utter hatred and all out war.I mean war like as in both countries have full nuclear capability.
To normal americans, they will normaly lump Pak's and Indians in the same group and to people outside that dont know the infighting seems stupid because "omg your the same race"
Kinda reminds me of another conflict between two factions that are the same race yet have a sparse divide over something so stupid as grudges, lack of respect and understanding, and blind hostility.
Im from jersey… we wear long pants year round.
In cancun when I saw 2 brothas standing with a slick lookin Italian dude, all 3 of them had on long pants I walked over and ask "you guys from jersey" they said Yeah Seaton Hall..
yes we can pick out our own by how we dress. Long pants and a T shirt, and dont wear coats in the winter just a fleece.
I see a lot of attractive men… but just because they are attractive doesn't mean I want them for mine. That didn't have anything to do with anything I know.
I live in a city of 8 million ppl…I could care less who dates who…as long as there is some left over for me. Hapiness and love, comfort and compatibility don't come in shades of color.
But I will say this… I don't date anything but black men…and 3 puerto ricans…and a haitian dude…and back in Cali a mexican…and a portugese man….BUT OTHER THAN THAT…I only date black men…lol
…to open up a whole other can of worms… Back men and asian women…bother me. Dunno if it's the stereotype of asian women being submissive …but I need to not be concerned with the why and how come of someone else's shit.
…see Comeback i told you what he was going to say.
addressing Sani's rant:
I actually agree…how about that.
^^^ he shole did….
"they will normaly lump Pak’s and Indians "
well in Philly they got the best Pak and indian restaurant…maybe thats what makes my fat ass so fat, all that curry and naan.
"But I will say this… I don’t date anything but black men…and 3 puerto ricans…and a haitian dude…and back in Cali a mexican…and a portugese man….BUT OTHER THAN THAT…I only date black men…lol"
LOL…CLASSIC!!
so by eating there, I symbolically helped unite the two I suppose. Anybody know of any good Isreali places????
LOL @ Comeback! Yeah they need a little unity over in those there parks…that damn Hamas.
@SBM: I figured I'd give you a shout out since you're obviously feeling a little left out by Comeback and I's affection/admiration for Sani baby's ignorant rants…WE LOVE YOU TOO SBM!!!
Although the video choice was skewed, wack and based on the perception that men don't care and that we need to get over it…hogwash I tell ya. We don't need to get over anything…maybe you guys need to recognize it's importance and show a little respect.
…how that's for a show of infatuation mister…I gotta give you a nickname so that I can tag a show of affection after it. (i.e. Sani baby)……hmmmmm, I THINK I GOT IT!!!
Rone baby…LOL!! Yep from this point on SBM will be Rone baby…as in Tyrone, every man's homeboy.
Thanks for the posts Teacia. I've read this a few years back but definitely needed the refresher. I still can't believe it's lasted this long and how it still affects us today! Willie Lynch was a sick/sad man.
On a "lighter" note:
Blah, Blah, Blah my uncle is married to an Asian woman and she's just as submissive as his black wife was. I'm not sure if that makes you feel any better though.
The "interracial" couple that bothers me most is successful (not athletes or musicians) black men with non-black women. It's almost like "dag, you can't take us to corporate events and still get that corner office?"
Rone LOL…I was thinking something like buttercreame…as in cake icing (I'm a fatty what can I say)….
so Teacia can call you Rone…I'll call you a) Butta, b) buttacreame or ButtaRone (that sounds a little "how you doin"…but its up to you).
Then we can upgrade those dress shirts.
Dayumm… I was late on this post. Everyone else commented before me. I too enjoyed VSB post. FYI thanks Teacia for the link. I tried interracial dating..but I didn't get totally addicted until I was one of those brothas at the club full off white peeps…tryin to holla at the white gurls. But it's well said… we are men before anything else…MEN.
LMAO!!! ButtaRone baby…lol…it gotta have a term of endearment at the end…lol.
LOL..ButtaRone Baby it is…it does sound a tiny bit "how you doin'" but we can work with it.
Eathan you can't come to a site at 3:19 talking about errbody posted before me…lol.
And I'm going to let ur comment slide b/c u get enough from me already.
Oh and Daisy now that enough of the day has passed since my post I have to put out there that Willie Lynch's letters are fictional. Willie Lynch doesn't exist, well the one that did was born 30 years after these were supposedly published and their literal context in the letter that didn't come about until the 20th century.
Anyhow my purpose for posting it served the same as the guy who wrote it 15 years ago, to serve as a wake up for how the desire to be apart of mid-stream america is raping us of our heritage and sense of togetherness. Slavery didn't do it to us, we were stronger then because of it, we were flourishing as a race in the 60's…modern society, integration and the desire to no longer be considered the "losing team" is what has us in this frozen psychological state of independence.
…just thought i should put it out there before day's end…no more black liberation rants today from me i promise.
@Eathan: I don't get it. So to YOU interracial dating is dating black chicks??? Did I misunderstand that??? Somebody help me out.
And I've been to your site but I can't let you slide on that one. Please explain further.
No TIH he's saying that he dated white chics sparingly before but didn't get addicted to them until he moved into a predominantly white area where he was tripping over them. So now he prefers to date white…
….*sighing*…I know, I know…and I was working on it…but I'm sure he's gone ladies, never again to return to the land of Negronia.
And after today I actually get a sense of why he's made his choices and although I would LOVE to prove him wrong, I lack the sheer will and desire….sorry E baby…lol.(yep, even Eathan gets a nickname)
"When I started this blog I scoured the net looking for other black relationship blogs. At a time before VSB, I found a LOT of anti-black men websites. There were a lot of people telling black women to date white men and to stop putting up with the lazy, unempoloyed, and undereducated black man."
we like to call this period of time, BVSB.
we're changing the game
**and when i say "we" i'm referring all of these newer sites (sbm.com included) were younger black males are offering their own perspectives on the relationship game. starting blogs instead of just leaving comments on message boards.**
@Teacia: Thanks for clearing that up. I've read his site but not in depth and quite frankly if I was the white ladies I'd be rather pissed at the amount of business he puts out there.
That being said, I appreciate he's up front with his shit and he doesn't dog black women from what I have read. I can't help but feel a tad sorry for him. Don't know why really, just do.
"were younger black males are offering their own perspectives on the relationship game. starting blogs instead of just leaving comments on message boards.**"
–Hasimeister please tape this to your forehead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ButtaRone..please start a paypal collection STAT.
Hi all, I have never posted here before. I am the filmmaker of the clip. It is from a 1:47 minute feature film called "Diary Of A Tired Black Man" and all of you missed the point! This clip is not, never has been and never will be about interracial dating – it is about angry black women!
Visit the website and find out more: http://www.tiredblackmen.com/
Thank you,
Tim Alexander, The Filmmaker
Tiffany I addressed those very same concerns with him today…of course he had a defense…and although he publicly doesn't disrespect us, the stereotypes ARE the reasons that he won't date us anymore.
It's a shame that although there a lot of black women who don't fall into the drama-filled category he isn't willing to take the risk anymore…but all in all Eathan is a good guy/man…just a little discouraged about the sisters these days.
Oh and there is the whole tripping over white chics everywhere he goes thing.
@TIH I think Teacia covered my reply. I have no need to diss black women at all. I like sites like this that just tell it like they see it. And Yeah…i put it all out there… i've had a few pissed and some don't mind. But if you know me, i'm a open book anyway.. just who i am.
Well damn I am utterly impressed…the filmaker came to comment….but Tim as an artist why does it concern you if we started talking about Mercedes vs. Range Rovers from your film. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOUR FILM. And if you read carefully the notion of angry black women was discussed SEVERAL TIMES. And why can't the subcontext be about interracial dating??? its opening dialouge. It got me wanting to see the full length feature.
which by the way, the clip doesn't really indicate that this is a full length feature.
Well filmmaker I only have this to say to you, if there is an issue you want to focus on in the future trying focusing on it directly and not indirectly. There was no point missed in this, you even toyed with the comment the chic made in the car. It was your way of fueling our feeling of disrespect for the underlined premise, which was that the chic in the car was white If you wanted to make a point that we were just angry, well your film missed the mark COMPLETELY. You could have put a black chic in the car, take out the interracial context altogether and still portrayed a bunch of angry chics…b/c yes that happens everyday.
You can't choose an issue as sensitive as interracial dating and expect anyone to take anything other than that from your message….just a thought.
@Teacia: Well I trips over a bunch of white chicks everywhere I go too. There are MORE of them than US.
Well even if he does buy into the stereotypes (which is bogus on his part) at least he's not plastering his opinion all over the interwebs and on billboards.
I'm not in this game to change minds, I'm in it to get mines. And I don't can't possibly want anyone who wouldn't want me anyway be they black, white or polka dotted.
Was his ex-wife white too???
"which by the way, the clip doesn’t really indicate that this is a full length feature."
I know, which is why I came to let everyone know what it is from. That is a old youtube post of the clip. If you think the conversation is hot now – wait until you see the rest of the movie!
The reality is, the white girl is only seen in that one scene in the entire movie. As the man said at the door "it's not about the white girl". it is about the four angry women and his ex-wife's nasty attitude. I am calling attention to how a lot of our sistas disrespect a good black man and do not appreciate him – some women, not all – BUT WAY TO MANY.
Go ahead, visit,
http://www.tiredblackmen.com/
The film will be released in Feb. '09 by Magnolia Pictures nationwide.
Good luck with your film Mr. Filmmaker. I hope you created an unbiased view of exactly why the ex-wife was angry.
We don't just wake up angry ya know. And you can't expect for us to see that premise when the clip is about the white chic sitting in the car. Just so you know, we're a pretty sharp bunch around here.
Having said all of that…KUDOS TO YOU!!!!! Congratulations on the film, it's refreshing to see someone acheive their dreams.
"Well filmmaker I only have this to say to you, if there is an issue you want to focus on in the future trying focusing on it directly and not indirectly. There was no point missed in this, you even toyed with the comment the chic made in the car. It was your way of fueling our feeling of disrespect for the underlined premise, which was that the chic in the car was white If you wanted to make a point that we were just angry, well your film missed the mark COMPLETELY. You could have put a black chic in the car, take out the interracial context altogether and still portrayed a bunch of angry chics…b/c yes that happens everyday.
You can’t choose an issue as sensitive as interracial dating and expect anyone to take anything other than that from your message….just a thought."
Well Teacia, that is also a source of some black women's anger, and it is obviously a major topic here. Yes, it is leading – I knew it would flush out a lot of the angry sisters to come out with their rants about black men with white women – and lots of them have said he is no good for that reason and that reason alone, but he is not. He was a great men. She had anger issues when they were together – that scene is after he left her.
To your original point, lots of people saw the true intent of the clip with no problem whatsoever. They saw a balanced black men calmly take on a room full of angry black women without black men in their lives and set the record straight about why he is tired – not tired of black women – but tired of the angry ones. Watch it again. He said "I don't care what color she is as long as I can get some peace when I come home at night instead of the drama I had with you. I am not a weak black man (remember, they called him a 'weak ass nigga') I am a tired black man, tired of angry black women like you and you", and he pointed to them specifically; it was not a reference to all black women.
I hope iI made my intent a bit clearer for you. Yes, I did know that the clip would draw more attention from the women – the group I really made the movie for. And it is doing exactly what it was sent out to do. Now look deeper to find out what it is really about because it is not the white girl in the car – it is about our angry sisters.
Peace
"The film will be released in Feb. ‘09 by Magnolia Pictures nationwide."
A;right Tim well right on with your bad self. It seems from your forums its building up a lot of traction. Hell you got some serious bloggers on here talking. Maybe you could invite us to a private screening. Hell VSB and SBM does some serious traffic. I only get 3 views a day IF THAT. I really depend on my cousin Ray Ray, but he's not alway perdictable.
I will definately check this film out.
Ok Tim…you better DO IT… NPR????
I'm serious about that private screening for the black bloggers.
Thank you Teacia!
Heads up; she is angry because of the mistakes her mother made in picking a bad man to be her father, she is angry because she followed the same pattern when she was young – and her girlfriends are still doing it. She is angry because when she did finally find a good loving black man who treated her with respect – she didn't know what to do so she treated him like he was weak because he was nice – and she lost him. Did you notice how she got quit?
This film is a message to our young women, to look in themselves and recognize the pattern in themselves (if it exist in them, which it does in a lot of our young women) and change their perspective about what a good man is and how to treat him when you find one in the sea of turds that the young men are today.
I can't wait to see what you say after you have seen it – 86% of the thousands of women I screened it for LOVE IT!
I am sure you intelligent ladies will too, it is not what you think from that purposely leading clip. Hang on, you'll see.
**perk** Private screening for the black bloggers? hmmmm… make sure ya got plenty of popcorn and butter. I can't watch a movie with out those 2…lol
Well thank you Comeback Girl. Somebody had to make this wake-up call film – so I did.
Here's the NPR link you spoke of:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?stor…
Here is a review:
FILM REVIEW – Brow-Beaten Brother Gets Even in Thought-Provoking Melodrama
Excellent (4 stars – Highest Rating)
Diary of a Tired Black Man, Film Review by Kam Williams
In recent years, numerous revenge-themed Hollywood adventures have seemed to take a certain delight in portraying black men as unreliable womanizers undeserving
of any respect, like the sort of losers always airing their dirty linen any day of the week on The Jerry Springer Show. From Waiting to Exhale to Two Can Play That Game to Diary
of a Mad Black Woman, these female empowerment flicks have generally left brothers not only brow-beaten but in need of an image overhaul.
Now, help has arrived in Diary of a Tired Black Man, a fascinating half-documentary-half melodrama which marks the directorial debut of Tim Alexander. A little over a year
ago, you may remember how Alexander generated a phenomenal air of anticipation about this controversial picture merely by making the trailer available over the internet.
That three-minute teaser captured the explosion of James (Jimmy Jean-Louis) who was frustrated about being dogged by his ex-wife, Tonya (Paula Lema), and her
girlfriends because he showed up with a white woman to pick up his daughter during a custody exchange. Without reacting to their attack, he calmly pauses to address Tonya
and her Amen chorus of supporters. Speaking in a measured tone of voice, he gets the last word, letting them know that he had been, and still is, an excellent though
unappreciated provider.
The full-length feature opens with this same scene, but rather than proceed with the rest of the modern morality play immediately thereafter, the ingenious director came
up with a brilliant cinematic device which only heightens the already palpable tension. He freezes the action after this point of departure (and again periodically throughout the
picture) for revealing man-in-the-street interviews featuring fan reaction to the commercial, comments culled from footage he shot while crisscrossing the country with a hand-
held camera.
So, essentially half of what we see onscreen is an intriguing documentary of everyday folks from all walks of life, both male and female, weighing-in on the battle-of-the-
sexes. And these remarks, ranging from the profane to the profound and from the silly to the sobering, prove to be every bit as telling as the fictional front story.
For instance, a young woman quick to question whether there are any good black men out there refers to the married guy she dated for two years as “typical “and an
“effed-up, trifling-ass Negro.” Yet, when asked why she even entered such an ill-fated, illicit liaison in the first place, her only answer is that she “fell in love,” leaving the audience
to conclude that she’s just as much to blame for her lot in life as all the black men she’s just dissed.
To the director’s credit, he does also include conversations with some sisters who don’t absolutely go berserk when questioned about the behavior of brothers, like the
one who forcefully makes the case that, “Not every black woman walking the face of this Earth is angry. There are plenty of sweet, sugary, syrupy sisters that I know that brothers
don’t want.”
Overall, the movie does come down rather hard on sisters, even though it doesn’t let brothers off the hook entirely. Cleverly-edited to keep the audience on the edge of its
seat, the movie flits back and forth between this sort of frank dialogue and the riveting tug-of-war between James and Tonya. With both the factual and fictional parts of the
picture equally absorbing, expect to emerge from theater emotionally drained yet inspired to discuss the degree of dysfunction permeating African-American relationships among
your friends and family.
Tim Alexander is quick to say that “Diary of a Tired Black Man is not a movie, It’s a message.” Well, I’d say it’s both, and if his aim with this message movie is to kick-start
an overdue dialogue for change, I’d say congrats for more than meeting that challenge.
Oooooh Tim we have a comment limit around here…ButtaRone might start moderating you if you keep it up…lol.
Shout out to ButtaRone Baby….
Tim, Black Blogs are the new CNN of America….and as Eathan pointed out, you only need popcorn with some butter.
think about it.
Where do most of you live? Maybe we can make it happen. Call me. I'm Tim Alexander and can be reached at 818-441-1492 or emailed at tim@castlestudio.net
I am serious about getting this message out. It is about saving the children from these angry broken homes they are born into.
Let's all work together to fix it. Let's stop the cycle of anger that was imposed on us back in the days of Willie Lynch. We are educated enough to snap out of it now, this is 2008. We have to look at it for what it is and change one individual person at a time. If only 10% will let this message take hold in their lives and change – I will be more then happy, and maybe the next generation will be better for it. Change has to start somewhere.
"Oooooh Tim we have a comment limit around here…ButtaRone might start moderating you if you keep it up…lol."
Oops,,, Sorry. I'm gone.
Tiffany that is one of the things I admire about Eathan, he doesn't use black women as a scapegoat for the skin color contrast obsession thing he has with other chics…lol, sorry E baby but you posted it youself.
But i'll let him answer the ex-wife thing…not really my place ya know.
@The Filmaker: You have just made a spokesperson and a future fan. Private screening, some reviews … whatever you need.
I'm gonna look over things in detail when I get off this work computer, but just the premise and what you have said so far make me think that someone has finally taken what I think … and put it in a movie.
Email me and lets work something out. I think I'm now committed to making this a success (assuming the screening goes over well).
LOL…Tim I was only joshing. I was making fun of our dear sweet brother Numpsey a.k.a. Sani baby.
@ TIH Was his ex-wife white too???
yeah they are white.
SBM, call me. 818-441-1492
Oh so that's how you do your faithful readers Rone baby…u come out of the woodworks and address the new guy…ooooh I swear I'm commenting tomorrow…lol.
Tim I just emailed you. Just a warning I get brilliant ideas once a month and the day before Friday and twice on Sunday.
*pump your brakes* eeeeeeerrrrr, THEY…damn Eathan how many times you been married?…lol.
How many white chics will it take for you to come back home…come to the light Carol Anne a.k.a. Eathan.
Ethan, Champ and Hasimeister (start a damn blog pleaes) call or email TIM.
SBM! I just noticed you are in Washington DC – I JUST LEFT THERE SCREENING THE FILM LAST WEEK!!! Wow.
Here is video from my Washington DC screening:
http://web.mac.com/timacs/TBM_Movie_Reviews_Washi…
And I am going to read your email right now Comeback Girl.
@Filmaker: WTF! See … now my day is shot … gonna go home and sulk
And the comment limit thing was a joke. We have had "problems" in the past of extremely long comment lengths.
Um me too…looks like you might had to be a doctor, lawyer or judge to attend LOL…. just kidding Tim.
Tim do the blooger private screening. Many of the top sites are ran out of the east coast. I say become a sponsor over at the black blog awards 08'…and see if you can reach out to some of those folks too. Just scanning some of the sites …some of them get 700k-1million hits A DAY.
Tim listen to me…I'm having a rare genius moment.
Good. Then here is the film's and another review:
Film Synopsis:
Diary Of A Tired Black Man is a simple story about the complex relationships between Black Men and Black Women. It follows the life and relationships of a successful black man as he tries to find a happy place to rest his heart.
He is constantly challenged by the anger he finds in the black women he gets involved with. From his wife, whom he divorces, to the other women he tries to date after her nothing but Drama Drama Drama!
So what's a black man to do? He tries dating outside of his race, which brings up a different set of issues for him to deal with.
It's an interesting ride into the reality of black relationships that a lot of people will relate to, and a lot of people will learn from.
REVIEW –
Well, I just got thru watching DOATBM, and all I can say is WOW!
I never thought it was possible to have something be
exactly what one would expect and still be a complete and
total surprise.
And yet, this film manages to be that and much, much
more. It is a revelation, a clarion call that is both ominous
in it's portrayal of our deteriorating relationships and at the
same time joyful in throwing down the gauntlet of open
discussion on this topic.
The scenes are nicely shot, well acted, and never fail to
evoke a response in the viewer. And then there is the
feedback, which some may find as entertaining as the
action, but is undeniably just as provocative.
How this film has escaped the notice of the major media is
beyond me and probably beyond any explanation that
makes common sense.
THIS FILM IS TOO IMPORTANT TO MISS !!!!
OK Comeback Girl, but help me. Why don't you introduce it over their so it doesn't look like I put it there. Sometime people don't like that.
Everybody fell free – blog it anywhere (then let me know so I can follow up).
Thanks for your support.
Tim
@Teacia: I saw that too but I wasn't going to go THERE. But I am glad you did…LOL!!!!!
Ok Tim I'll see what I can do.
Yeah based on his posts I was under the impression that it was only one, but then again I haven't been reading his work long. He says that he has two boys, so it's safe to say that he has two ex-wives.
Either way, I guess happy marriages resulting from interracial dating wasn't necessarily a given. I wonder if it was the pressure society put on them that led to the divorce or other factors within the relationship. Oh well, I guess that's none of our business although I will still most certainly ask cause I'm nosey like that.
I've seen that clip a while ago, and I definitely cannot wait to see the full length.
Gee they start out by bashing the film maker too… that totally isnt proving his point now is it.
We all seem to have the same msg. but put in seperate ways. I put it blunt and hard with numbers and make people accountable like a hard coach, TIm uses a film with high drama to make you stand up and notice, and Gurlltalkk uses podcast with a comedic overtone to feed it to everyone gently. But its all the same msg. These blogs are a good thing and the work of the black male identifying something wrong in our culture is even more exciting.
@Hasani: One thing you will find about Gurltalkk, Tim, and myself compared to you is we actually attempt address both sides of the argument and have a much more moderate approach to it. Stop yelling at these people as you explain your point, acknowledge the fact that they actually do have valid rebuttals, and start using your stats to imply causality instead of just coming up with your reason for the numbers and swearing its true.
"start using your stats to imply causality instead of just coming up with your reason for the numbers and swearing its true."
sounds to much like…..well….like science.
Wanna see who is actually "angry" me or the others?
Check out the past 10 blog posts by SBM.
now treat this like a scavenger hunt I want you to look for the following things
#of times 2 angry black female posters have complimented me twice in a thread
# of times 1 angry one compliments me twice
Now compare
# of times I compliment or praise someone
also add # of times I have said something hopeful or nice even after being insulted or thrashed
see which number is lower. THATS the angry party.
get over it Hasani…seriously…ur just making urself look reeeeaaally stupid. enough already.
theres goes a minus one on the ABWS side…..
Validity reinforces my stance.
you being stupid doesn't make me angry, it's just makes you stupid…not even sure how you got the correlation on that one buddy.
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I water'd it in fears,
Night & morning with my tears;
And I summoned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles.
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And she knew that it was mine,
And into my garden stole
When the night had veil'd the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe …..
outstretch'd …..
dead……..beneath the tree.
lol…whose angry now…ha ha ha ha…how lame.
@ HNIC….. u my friend have lost it completely. no wonder u're sooo single. who would want to deal with u. u are an angry black male who has been hurt so badly by someone. but u know what deal with ur issues. u are not the first and u won't be the last. life ain't a bed of roses honey….there are also thorns. once a girl is over ur 'good looks' (I saw ur picture and u aight) what more do u have to offer. oh, by the way….u'r statistics are so off, I know, because that's my job. when u learn to spell maybe u can google the right statistics. in the mean time I really think u're lame and u're going to be single for a long time. you're a fucking nut case
lol…and you called me and comeback mean…dammit man!
i'm not mean as mr hnic would say. i'm just out to spread the truth about black women. I also think he's a mega liar when it comes to dating. he should change his name from HNIC to Mr. LSE (mr low self esteem). u aren't capable of loving because u are still in love with mrs ex. I wonder why she left u……oh I know. she must have read your ranting. Loser! by the way, my dad is a psyciatrist, maybe he can help. let me know if u need his number. BLACK WOMEN DON'T NEED TO LISTEN TO THIS SHIT. I HAVE A BUNCH OF WHITE, ASIAN, ARABIC,INDIAN MEN who want to marry a black woman. I know 'cause i'm married to one of the above.
sorry, I missed the 'h' in psychiatrist. I guess HNIC's dyslexia is rubbing off on me
thank you for saying im good looking.
If you cant relate to poetry we are fighting a losing battle as a people for knowledge and education.
I didnt calculate the stats.. census did (www.census.gov). All I did was live 30 years, and hit "CTL A"+"CLT C" +"CTL V"
I would take your criticism on stats under consideration… but I didnt make the stats… you did. ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4tdNxTV9i2c&fe… ) <— my future wife
Still giddy about being called good lookin 🙂
Ugg Im the only person home on a saturday night.? where are you people? Im watching Battlestar galactica and getting ready to run this basketball tourney tomorrow for the 15 and 16 year olds. les pray HNIC dont get heat stroke!
DANNNNNGGGG!!! This is my first time watching the clip. It is the TRUTH!!! Where can I see the whole move? I have seen this first hand. An extremely close friend of mine has a white women and she treats him DAMN good. He would be a fool to leave her just because she is white. Whenever he is out and he speaks to black women majority of the time they NEVER speak back. He is a tired black man. I hear men say all the time they love black women but they just have attitudes and they get tired of it.. I don't feel bad for black women. If a man wants a white woman that is his preference. STOP TRIPPING WOMEN! I hear black men all the time talk about how black women act plus I see it myself daily here. I mean look at the clip, why does the man have to be weak because he dates a white women. That is a dumb concept. We are the only race of women who says that dumb shit anyway.
I loved that clip especially when he explained to her that the house, furniture was his. I get tired of hearing angry black women say that a man is weak because he wants a white women. I say to each is on. When some black women see a black man (especially if he is really handsome) they are quick to say he is GAY, DL , or something negative about him before the man opens his mouth. I hear it so much. I just heard it today from a friend of mine. I asked her now how can you tell he is GAY? Her response was oh you can just tell… you can't tell anything. Alot of white women don't do that. They are smiling, friendly, and chatty, that is why they get the man.
So don't get mad, maybe if black women change their approach or mannerism and become more approachable then they could get more options. Man this issue gets me so fired up cause I get so sick of hearing, and seeing this all the time.
GREAT POST!!!
@ Filmmaker: is this movie coming to Chicago?
At the end of the day it's not about color it's about who loves, support, respect you, and treats you good. NOTHING ELSE!
"Still giddy about being called good lookin"
This is how I know something is wrong with you DEEPLY. Cruella said quite a bit more about your disposition and why you're single. And thats all you got? The fact she called you good looking? On some level I think we ALL have said you weren't terribly bad to look at, minus some of the pimp get up, the open shirt-chest hair look, etc: but you lack terribly a real perspective that can have you looking at things OBJECTIVELY. Its funny how you don't want to talk about Ms. 10 year. I've asked why its ended at least three times. Now some one else has specifically asked…and you won't touch on that one.
Hasani lives in his own world, Cruella put him down in the worst and he politely responded to her citing on positive, we disagree with what he says, and he pounces. Ms. 10 year left after he put her through medical school…yeah, he leaves that out, met her in college, she finished and then went to medical school…as soon as she graduated she bounced. As for marriage, we ALL know that Hasani wants so desperately to be married, don't you think they would have been married if SHE wanted it, but she didn't, she played him…yet he's ALWAYS lifting her up while putting us down…and then he uses statistics to make himself feel validated. What are the statistics on white women playing black men…can we get the damn census to do a survey on that…maybe THEN you guys will get the picture that we're NOT the enemy.
…got my blood pressure up.
Teacia you do know your like mixing up about 4 seperate women in my life and combining them into one right?
A problem alot of black men have with angry black women…. they dont listen and care more about hearing themselves talk than the welfare, feelings or worries of those around them.
Your attempt at degrading me would be more effective if you had anything right.
kinda like me saying… I wouldnt date a woman who had pussy so whack a nigga busted up in her raw after dating her for no significant amount of time to do so…. fathered life.. and was so annoyed by her venom and malice to the point he had to forsake raising his own child and get up out of there, to save his own sanity
…… thus having her become another statistic.
"to alter a painting, shouldnt you see the entire image first?"
Hasani
then EXPOUND. You've been on this blog long enough to know how to write long essays. But you leave 10year lady out. I'm all eyes.
comeback: yes thats all I have… omg I cant be giddy about getting called good lookin!? I like positive reinforcement from women and flattery will get you EVERYWHERE with me 😀
Im so use to angry black women yelling and degrading me i kinda filter it like UNIX /grep | "positive msg" All.angry.black.women
Thanks for saying im not terible bad to look at, as I have always said I think your one of the most finest single sistas I have come across this year… but then again you already know I feel this way about you cuz I constantly tell you.
I think we can talk about what you can I can build together as a good positive topic…. but so I wont scare you away, lets just talk about a phone call and me coming down 95 south for ONE date with ya 😀
call me you have my number tiffany 🙂
i'm calling your bullshit…lol, she played you and used you and then bounced!…and that was AFTER dating you for 10 years…i rather a nigga leave after 1 than to string me along for 10.
…but that's just me.
…oh and not all men forsake their fatherly duties…ahhh what is that i hear. *silence* i guess that's because she's with her father as we speak…and by the way i was the one who left, but then again you would know that if you had the mental capacity to comprehend what others say.
lol…and your response was a direct indicator that i was right on point with Ms. 10 years.
In Boxing we have a rule called a technical knock out. Thats when your opponent is not capable to protect themselves, the referee stops the fight because such a situation is quite dangerous.
I think safe sex should be encouraged… unprotected sex is dangerous.
and people who arent capable to protect themselves should not be allowed by law to be guardian of another.
…but then again .. thats just my opinion.
Interesting blogspot! I will definitely be back thru some time soon. At the moment I am wrapping things up with grad school and can not contribute to the discussion in depth the way I would like too. Though, I will add this particular discussion can go on for ever and a day.
With that said, I love Sistas all day everyday! Y'all make a Brotha work but that is what I love about y'all most of all. In addition to your strong will and enduring for Brothas, I know that when it is time for me to say, "I do," I want a Sista staring lovingly into my eyes as I pledge to live my life for better or for worse because Sistas come first!!!!!
Be Well,
Soulijah Story
I don’t think I want to see this movie because most good black women are treated the same way as good black men. Case in point, me! My 13 years of school I’ve only had one guy ask me out and one boyfriend. I was disrespected by brothas because I was; not back enough, too smart, too nerdy, too tall, wore glasses, too fat, too quiet, too nice, and etc. Trust me the list goes on and on. So, stepping into adulthood, I don’t want a relationship at all. I lost 85lbs, fixed myself up and now brothas want to talk to me. Sorry, keep it moving. I wasn’t good enough then why do you want me now? If people think it’s only black men that are mistreated then they are sadly mistaken. Honestly, I do have some bitterness towards black men because of the ways they have treated me. They didn’t want the good girl back then, they wanted the popular chick. How did that work out for you? I’m 22, iM in college, virgin (and damn proud) and I just don’t want to deal with the bs that men put out. I’d rather be alone. I should make my own movie and put it online.
Anyway, I down for choice. I think when PEOPLE realize that their experience should be opened to dating whomever they wish, the anger goes away. I have been on the fence in the past with dating a white man primarily because in the DC area you get A LOT of flack in public. VOCAL flack FROM BLACK MEN. If I was living in NYC, I would do it in a heart beat…wait…I actually did. I know I shouldn’t worry about what other people think. My preference is for Black men. but I have seen some White one’s who make think preference BE DAMNED.
CG, calling both DC and NYC my home, my response to black men like this is generally been like Whoopi's:
"I don't recall getting any flowers from YOU."
"Why are our women so “angry?"
There are a LOT of black men — including Tim, the filmmaker, and seemingly SBM — who don't really want to be bothered looking at that question.
A message in the movie? Majority of educated white females are to busy trying to keep their white men (with all the power) from marrying those Asian women. I really wish some of our Black males stop crying, crying, and complaining as if they are the only one treated with racism. Perhaps that is one of the reason some black females are angry, Please grow up society is coming after you (black males) every which way they can to bring you down.
Black women, we have got to face it. The 70's are over. We are no longer really brothers and Sisters. Statistics show that black men date and marry outside of their race more than any other group. We have got to give up the stress of trying to be loyal and understanding to them when they are not loyal and understanding to us. The last people who should ever wonder why we have an attitude should be a black man. It is time for us to let go and look elsewhere or we are going to continue to find ourselves alone or worse, mistreated. I say let the white women have em. She will soon find out that the big d ain't worth the stress. We are smart, well-traveled, and doing it for ourselves. Hell, we might be better matched with white men.
Wrong. African American Men – 8.4% Asian women – 19.5% Do your research.
By the way… you still have 91.6% left to choose from. So smile. It ain't that bad.
Or you can get a white guy, we don't mind.
Tish I agree. I'm not going to be fighting over someone that doesn't want me. I've moved on. Howver, your stats are wrong. As far as men go, WM are actually the ones that marry more outside their race. WM and asian women are actually the most married interracial couplin. Black people are still the ones that don't marry outside their race as much, however, that is changing.
See… I told you.
If you are in New York, come see my movie.
Read This:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
September 10, 2008
Contact:
Matt Cowal
212-924-6701×212
mcowal@magpictures.com
Magnolia Pictures acquires DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN
NEW YORK – September 10, 2008 – Wagner/Cuban Companies’ Magnolia Pictures announced today the acquisition of world rights to DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN, the personal and provocative debut from Tim Alexander, who wrote, produced, directed, edited and scored the film. Through a series of vignettes exploring the complex relationships between black men and women, the film follows the love life of a successful black man as he attempts to navigate stereotypes, resentment and anger harbored by black women towards the men in their community. An undeniably male-centric challenge to the expectations and attitudes of black women towards their partners, DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN is bound to be controversial as it poses tough questions and makes bold statements that will provoke and create dialogues for its viewers.
“DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN is a firecracker of a film that is sure to be a real conversation starter and will definitely open up some fresh dialogue,” said Magnolia President Eamonn Bowles.
“It is a joy and the end of a long journey to find the right home for this project,” said filmmaker Tim Alexander. “Magnolia understands my film one hundred percent – I’m very happy to be working with this company.”
DIARY OF A TIRED BLACK MAN is poised to become a phenomenon, as Alexander’s website promoting the film has already received over a million visitors. DIARY will be screened at the Urbanworld Film Festival in New York this Saturday, September 13th (www.urbanworld.org ), and released by Magnolia in 2009.
Magnolia Pictures (www.magpictures.com ) is the theatrical and home entertainment distribution arm of the Wagner/Cuban Companies, a vertically integrated group of media properties co-owned by Todd Wagner and Mark Cuban that also include the Landmark Theatres chain, the production company 2929 Productions, and high definition cable networks HDNet and HDNet Movies.
# # #
I m a sucessful black man, that has dated exclusively white woman for some time know. Its not that i don't like sistas, they are collectively the most beatiful women on the face of the earth. Its that sistas will not speak to me unless they know what i do for a career, see my house or my cars. I've approached countless beatiful black women on the street, malls, bars supermarket and i either get an attitude, ignored or threatned. Maybe its just my approach. But when i approach a white woman she seems to realize instantly what she has and damn near throws herself at me. I think most black cannot determine what to look for in a good black man, whereas most white women have had many examples fahters, brothers etc of good men and know exactly what to look for. My looser black friends have tons of black women because they know how to play the game== something i never cared to learn, but they couldn't get a white woman if there life depended on it. I'm not dissin my sistas, i love yall, and when everything else falls, your gonna hold it down, but yall need to wake up, sometimestheaverageooking guy with glasses, slakes and button up shirt could be the guy you've been looking for all along. And just remeber every time you see a black man with white its probably because he couldn't get a black woman. Anyway that was my case. I was unwilling to play the "thug" "rapper", or tough guy role after spending nearly 14 years gettin an education after high school that just wasn't me. So there are good black out there, you've probably dissed a couple today!!!
I feel you Troy. My movie will be released on DVD Feb. 3, 2009 make sure you get a copy – I think it will speak directly to you.
Tim Alexander, The Filmmaker
Ok Troy, so what do you say to the black men that have dissed the smart, nerdy looking black women?! You think it only happens to black men, you are mistaken. It's the story of my life. I do date white men, at least I'm not weird to them!
I would say that men to a fault are visual creatures. We don't approach women who we think are the smartest, has the best job, or has the biggest house; we approach (instinctively) the woman that we have the best chance of producing offspring with, and historically these are the women with best bodies, and best looks. On the flipside of that, women are attracted (instinctively) to the man that will provide the most for her and their future kids, being that for the last 50,000 years women have depended on a man to bring home the hunt and prevent starvation (hence, the tall, muscular masculine man that woman are nautraly attracted to would have had the better chance of getting a kill in 50,000 years ago). Unfortunately, these primitive instincts are with us today and have been perversed with devastating consequences on both parts. This is a very complicated and controversial argument, something that I learned while in undergraduate school at UCLA. Nevertheless it explains alot of our natural motivations in life and once you understand it you will truely understand a mans actions in totality.
Troy
You say men are visual, well it does work against you because you overlook a lot of good women out there just because they have a little extra weight on her, she doesn’t dress a certain way, or etc. Than you guys go on a compalin that you can’t find a good black woman, well, ever think it may have been the one you totally inorged in the process of finding one.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it but when you stereo type good men and put them in the same category as the bad ones you'll never find a great black guy and there's a lot of them waiting believe me…I am one of them
Hey all, my film "Diary of a Tired Black Man" will be out on DVD Tuesday, Feb. 3, 2009. Then you can see what this is really about. Please support this movie by buying a copy. It will not disappoint.
Thanks,
Tim Alexander,
Writer/Producer/Director
It's funny you say that Thomas because a lot of good black women are lumped into sterotypes that they don't fit, but no one seems to defend us!
I watched half of this mess, Black people have really got to stop doing this to each other — there are good black men out there and there are good black women, but we feed each other this crap and everybody gets angry and white people just laugh at us. If he really wanted to help someone out he would have interviewed a wider spectrum of black people. I for one was raised by BOTH my Mother and my Father. I had a wonderful childhood, my mother was not disrepectful to my father and on top of having GREAT parents I also had the privilege of growing up with two very strong grandfathers. So why would I not be a little angry with this stereotypical MESS! And the one thing that is laughable about this video is that the man is talking about how he pays for everything in the house, and paid for her car. LAUGHING OUT LOUD! When have black women NOT worked, we have been working since we were bought to this dang on country. Research indicates that Black Girls are typically raised to be more independent because they have to be. I for one pay the majority of the bills in my house. Please dont' buy this this mess, dont' support the further tiring a part of the black community with this one-sided garbage.
I find so much hypocrisy in the comments by black women on this blog. The black women talk about how black men stereotype them, but no one does more stereotyping of black men than black women. It is true that the vast majority of black women that black men encounter do indeed have nasty, arrogant, hostile and mean-spirited attitudes and black men as a whole are fed up with it. Yet, these same sisters have no qualms about disrespecting and denigrating brothers on a regular basis. Its the same double-standard over and over again. The negative stereotypes about black men have reached an all time high. Its mind-boggling !!!!!!!! When I'm around white women, 99% of the time the white women are polite, smiling, and make complimentary comments to me, yet as soon as I'm around a black women ( 99% ) of the time, she is ranting and raving about — " Where are the good black men ? " and all that nonsense as if black men aren't asking– " Where are the good black women ? " . I have heard black men across America complain about this . Its the black women who drive black men to white women. Furthermore a person has the right to date or marry whomever he/she pleases and anyone of any color who has a problem with it is a racist bigot whatever their race. Its that simple !!!!!
There is certainly enough blame to go around. The Black Man wants peace; can't take no stress. The Black Woman is frustrated, and has never ending stress.The problems go back to far to determine its origin. Responsibility is ours to command now. Changes need to be made. First individually, then as a couple and finally as a family unit. Relationships require constant communication. Communication is fueled by trust. Trust is developed with patience and patience begins with love. We don't want to be remembered/known as an angry/bitter race. People, All children need a father. Didn't we all want ours. And, daddy bashing is not healthy, mentally at all. Father's should not be excluded from their childrens' lives; good, bad or indifferent, they need to be visible. If a child is raised with good values and morals, at the age when right from wrong kicks in, they will be equipped to draw the best from both of you. When left to raise her children alone, a Black woman will raise her daughter to be strong; to STAND no matter what comes her way. Feeling sorry for her son, she will try to protect him from the strongholds the Black Man struggles with today. Not realizing that the strength he lacks today will be his downfall tomorrow. Black Men stand your ground. Don't leave the family. Black Woman fight your emotions of anger, not your man. We now have someone in the White House that is making changes for us on the outside. Lets try to make some changes on the inside so that one day we can look at one another and believe we are on each other's side.
Good read , I'm going to spend more time reading about this topic