A few years ago, after going through a rough break up me and one of my boys just kind of hung out together all the time.  (Pause).  We sat in the crib playing video games, drinking beer, talking about why having a girl was stupid, when we stepped out we stepped out as wingmen.  And for a lot of men this “bromance” (Double Pause) can be very beneficial to helping you recover from a rough break up.  Now let’s be clear when a man says he had a rough break up, it doesn’t mean his heart was broken, it just means it was rough.  Either he spent too much money on the chick, he deaded the chick he really wanted to be, she was just grimy, or he just invested too much time in a bad option.  In this particular situation, my boy had just got out of a serious relationship himself and while it wasn’t rough he definitely understood why it happened, as it pertained to me, mine ended abruptly after basically saying to myself, “I needed to get my own ish together.”
Inevitably after a few months one of us is going to meet someone and that’s when you have to leave a man down and focus on yourself, or you let a good thing go, so you can hang out with your boy… (Triple Pause).  Anyway, that’s just a little story to give some background for what happens later.  What ends up happening is your boy, and this can happen to a girl too, starts talking to a new person and they get sprung.  There is nothing worse than having to be party to one of your close friends being sprung.
Tell me the following situations don’t just annoy the hell out of you:
1) Annoying Public Displays of Affection. We’ve all been guilty of it and perhaps it’s because deep down we wish we had someone to call pet names and walk down the street with our hand in their back pocket.  But it can get down right ridiculous.  Like when they seem to occupy the same seat.  When they are in the clubs and they seem to occupy the same drink.  When they are on the bus and they seem to occupy the same seat.  When they’re at a restaurant with friends they seem to occupy the same fork.  (I do think that it’s OK to feed each other if you go to a private fondue spot, alone.)
2) The amount of time they spend on the phone talking about nothing. You come home off of work and they are on the phone with the person, talking about how their day was, what they doing tonight, what’s for dinner, what they planning on wearing tomorrow… And suddenly it dawns on you, “Don’t they talk all day on gchat anyway?!”  Like seriously, don’t they know how each other’s day was already?  Or let me give you another example… Don’t you just hate when someone gets in your car and talks on the phone?  Like holds hard body conversation with another person.  I sometimes wonder if they realize that while they’re talking on the phone they render everyone else defenseless.  There’s no music playing, no conversation, just everyone in the car listening to someone else jonesing.
3) Suddenly you have a new roommate. Shortly thereafter they get sprung the new significant is the new roommate.  They are over to the crib all the time.  You go to take a shower in the morning and you look and you are trying to figure out who’s pink razor that is.  Or for the ladies you come home and you are like, “Why does it smell like funk in here?  Did someone just play a basketball game in here?” And you look in your living room and see your roommate’s boyfriend with no shoes on.  And now they’re either always at your place, or they’re always at the other ones place.  You can’t watch your TV shows because now the new couple living in your house is addicted to watching The Game on the CW.  Or just when you are ready to bump some music on a Friday night, they are in the living room snuggled up on the couch about to watch “The Notebook” on DVD.
So tell me SBM readers, what say you?  Any annoying habits that you see your friends display with their significant others?  And also help me out what’s your advice on how I should handle it? I usually just make up funny songs to sing like, “Love Lockdown” every time she enters the room.
-Dr. J