Pure Talent!
Whats goin on SBMers!
Its 2011 and I had a new Years Resolution decided to incorporate a new series on SingleBlackMale.Org. I call this the “Take it to the Streetz” series, where I ask your opinion on a question or situation posted to me. For our inaugural post, I decided to incorporate both SBM and my favorite type of club: The Strip Club!!
So I was in the den of iniquity over the weekend, and I encountered a hilarious but intriguing scenario that I think would be perfect for the readers to contribute their opinion. A woman buys her boyfriend a lap dance. The boyfriend, ecstatic with her selection receives said dance. During the dance in question, the boyfriend begins to “interact” with the young lady working overtime for college tuition money. He touches the young lady on her behind, ok more like grabs the young lady and stares suggestively at her, and she is twerking her rear end to the latest ballad by Gucci Mane. The girlfriend delivers a earth shattering side eye, and informs her significant other that he isn’t allowed to touch the strippers. The man, disheveled and shocked, frowned and contested the point while letting the young lady finish her exotic footwork.The girlfriend and boyfriend shared a laugh, but she was dead ass serious in her assertion that he shouldn’t touch.
The girlfriend’s point was that she 1) paid for the lap dance so she should dictate what goes and 2) Who would be touching other women while their girlfriend is right there?
The boyfriends point is 1) Touching the stripper was getting the most return on investment for her $$$, because many places don’t allow touching and you need to get the most bang for the buck, and 2) that’s what he would be doing had he received a lap dance and she wasn’t there, so he wanted to make sure she knew, as to minimize secrets.
She later bought another dance and let son rock with monitored touching, and my dude went in once she gave the green light, but incorporated her too something slick. She left with smiles and side eye in pocket. Stories for days from them too!
My Take: Well, if I buy someone a iPod as a Christmas gift, I don’t tell them how to use it, or demand that they use it a certain way, because it’s their goods now. That’s how I feel about the lap dance. I think the touching (which I witnessed) wasn’t too egregious and was par for the course at a strip club. I think his secrets point was a case of “when keepin it real goes wrong” lol. I think Significant Other’s at a strip club is a great look, but you have to set parameters before you go to avoid any issues whether minute or major (if a S/O is known to blow-up over ish like that). Same thing can happen in the club dancing with random chicks, but the difference is in a strip club, you KNOW the deal already. He should buy her a lap-dance and tell her to touch all she wants, as to honour Quid Pro Quo.
Now its time to take it to the Streetz. Readers, who’s right? Who’s wrong? What’s a little butt gripping between associates? Does the person who purchases the lap dance own the parameters of said dance? Somebody let me KNOW!!
If you want me to weigh in on a scenario, email sbm@singleblackmale.net
I agree that rules should be set ahead of time. Whatever works for the couple. I'm also a firm believer in the thought that it's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission. So if you walk in there having discussed what flies then just say sorry and do exactly what he did and get her involved. That was a smooth move.
ABSOLUTELY NOT SIR!! As a refined southern gentleman and connoisseur of shake junts nationwide, I can assure you that the terms of any and all interactions between a patron and skripper are indeed ironed out by those two parties only. This scenario is Exhibit A on why I refuse to ever take a SO to a strip club or even a regular club at that. At the end of the day it’s really just not worth the damn headache that you KNOW it’s going to cause.
if you're with a girl who causes that much drama then why bother in being in a relationship with them? Some SOs like myself enjoy going to skrrip clubs more than going to the clubs and with their significant other… i don't see it as a threat, i see it as inspiration…
@ Lola
Trust me it ain't intentional. Women have a tendency to hold on to the jealous, needy, clingy personality traits until they know they got you.
"…Women have a tendency to hold on to the jealous, needy, clingy personality traits until they know they got you…" Had one woman who held on to being jealous, needy, and clingy even AFTER she had figured she "got me"… Needless to say that more deuces were thrown than at a card tournament…
Now its time to take it to the Streetz. Readers, who’s right? Who’s wrong? What’s a little butt gripping between associates? Does the person who purchases the lap dance own the parameters of said dance? Somebody let me KNOW!!
Well I LOVE to go to strip clubs, A LOT… A LOT… lol and enjoy, being molested, I mean, some great dancing, I think they're BOTH wrong… why? because it should be an unspoken "known" thing… if your relationship is an open relationship to where he's allowed to be dancing at the club with another female and she's dropping it like its hot, then it shouldn't be a problem for the Significant Other to be upset at it, now if the relationship is one that is not open, then there should be no touching at all… and if you don't care, then why you there with shorty?
Love it!
Maybe I'm looking into semantics a bit much but the things you described aren't really an open relationship to me.
I say this because I can go out with my lady and she says I can dance with other women, I rarely if ever do, and we don't have an open relationship. Everyone just enjoys themselves.
I've went to strip clubs on my own with my girlfriends and I see how disgusting and disrespectful some men act towards the girls. I've also taken my man to a strip club and got a champagne room. Pause.
Anyway, I've gotten my significant other lapdances before. I dont monitor them, but if I saw he was being too forward with the dancer I wouldnt like it either.
First of all, its 35 dollars. I understand that she dances suggestively for money but do you really think you can cop a feel for 35 bucks? Thats a little immature. Not all strippers like to be touched and, none like to be touched for free. It comes off as desparate, which would embarrass me. Damn, at least get the chick in VIP or something.
Secondly, if he's too forward it would make me wonder how he would behave if I wasnt there. It would suck to find out my man is "one of those". Many of the aforementioned guys try to spit game to female patrons, but because of how I see them interact with the girls, they get none of my time. But, yes, you can buy me a lapdance.
Other than the impression I'd get from my watching my dude be overly touchy, I have no problem. The strip club is no place for jealously.
"First of all, its 35 dollars. I understand that she dances suggestively for money but do you really think you can cop a feel for 35 bucks? "
For $35? Majority of people don't make that in an hour and she is getting that for about 3-1/2 minute of her time… I think its a fair compromise.
Hell I can cop a feel in a real club on some chick and that dance didn't cost me a thing, at least the skrippa is being compensated.
"Hell I can cop a feel in a real club on some chick and that dance didn’t cost me a thing"
Reason I don't dance with men in the club… lol!
Actually she doesnt get all 35 of it, she usually pays 10-15 to the club per dance. Do you think strip clubs make their money off drink sales? Lol
$35?!! You goin to Strip Clubs in the UAE?!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Nice look on the series. I think the girl was wrong for buying the "gift" then implementing all sorts of fine print. I mean, unnecessary and EXTREMELY inappropriate touching might get a side eye BUT then again, you're in a strip club where *points at post picture* THAT happens so you can't get too mad unless he starts doing some foul sh*t like placing his parts on her parts. But I've never been to one SOOO I don't know what flies and what flops there. Lol
It's like I wrote this myself.
Good look Sukez Dukez.
I find it hard to believe that you two aint never been to a strip club. WOW!
Lol Believe it! I haven't found…wait, scratch that. I haven't made the time to go to one. Soon as someone points me in the right direction I'll give it a thought.
@Flyy right? Lol the scenario is too funny for anymore words
In the strip with your So? Gross.
Why do you think it's gross?
I've been to a couple with the SO and with other couples as well and we all had a great time. I like going to strip clubs because No. 1 they are tutorial at best those chicks can teach you a few things, No.2 they seem to have the best music and the drinks will put you under a couch.
Also been with my girlies and been with a group of males and females (Bananaz) *Fistpump*
LOL Exactly. I think it depends on what's going on and the comfort level you have with your SO. For us, it's usually for an occasion like a friend's birthday, etc. We're all having fun in a party atmosphere so no one is taking anything too seriously. I would like to think my man has more feelings for me than Pinky the P*ssy Popper. 🙂 Besides, I'm taking notes cause an old dog can learn new tricks.
You need to open your mind fam. Going to the strip club, especially with women, is beyond a WIN!
First of all, I would never purchase a lap dance for my SO. I would attend with him if the situation arose..but, the lap dance is out of bounds for me..but since she did purchase the dance…then she should have let the dance be what it was intended to be..she could have left the room or gone to the bathroom as to not be an eyewitness to the events….I mean why sit there and watch..unless you are going to get your rocks off, too..it's called a lap dance…so, the woman sits on the man's lap..if she just wanted him to see a show and not touch perhaps they should have went to a place where touching is strictly prohibited. I don't know, none of this really makes sense to me LOL..but, there you have my two cents.
This is a nice change of pace, Good idea Streetzie!
How did I know you wuld be against a lap dance T? lolol…
I mean its all in good fun. He should buy one for you!!
Im all for going to the strip club with potential SO and I agree with above poster that said rules should be set beforehand..
I will applaud an awesome booty clapping technique (because I take notes) or fall from the pole and I would expect him to do the same..He can touch but dont disrespect me (ex: squeezing her boobs or booty too long/hard)…More or less, admire but dont lust after it..
I mean, you have to understand we're not one of the boys so the behavior should be different..
Im not buying a lap dance though, thats just asking for trouble..
How do I add my pic to my comment? Im logged in through blogger but that doesnt work..
In order to add a pic you'll need to add a gravatar.
Ha! What kind of rules do you set for a trip to the strip club with your significant other? The girlfriend is wrong. Why would you buy ANYONE a lapdance at the strip club and expect that person NOT to touch the dancer? If touching is permitted at the club, then I don't see the problem.
How do you "buy" an attractive woman, who's job is to seduce your man, and then get upset when he touches her?
What I find quite intriguing is the fact that the girlfriend had a problem with her boyfriend touching the stripper without her "consent," but welcomed the opportunity to participate in the lapdance with him and the stripper. Did she want to be invited? Is the problem that he touched the stripper or that he didn't invite her touch the stripper with him?
I have never purchased a lap dance for the SO but if i ever did i'll let him enjoy it, because not for nothing besides the above scenario what man in his right mind is really tryin to go frat boy on a stripper during a private dance while his GF is sitting right there, it would be in his best interest to exhibit a lil self control in front of wifey.
I think people in relationships together should communicate well enough to know each other, what's cool, what's over the boundary, and what's not.
I have had a ball at the strip club with past significant others learning how to properly smack that arse, etc. lol. Receiving and contributing to his receiving lap dances. To me it's fun. For some others, it's not.
You should know your partner. Why go to the strip club where naked bodies shake professionally and then say, no touching? You have to throw your dollas from 3 yards away.
That's like watching a p*rn and saying, this scene is off limits..or you can watch the p*rn but you can't get aroused while watching. Idk.
Me and my current partner disagree about this. He says he'd never go to the strip club with a girlfriend. ….we have some more communicating to do. lol.
That picture is a mess. A complete and utter mess.
On the real, be careful what you get into with your man. Or at least make him coax you into it. If you are pulling your man into the strip club, he's going to think things about what you do when he's not around. He's going to think, does she do this with every man she's been with? On the low, is she into girls like that? Is this more for her than it is for me? That last question is the ish.
Also, strip clubs are like the gateway, especially if there's a "champagne room". You go from watching a little adult entertainment at the crib, to strip clubs, to sex parties, to swing parties, to the bunny ranch and then to craigslist when you run out of money. Be careful, you little freaks!
Arriba la Raza.
This.
Interesting perspective.
Was there a problem with any of the results you mentioned?
Some people are into those types of things. Most of those people have never seen the greatest movie of all time, She Hate Me. In reality, that dude probably killed his wife and her lover.
My only advice was be careful. Eyes Wide Shut was a real movie.
She hate me … everyone should watch that movie!
I would also never buy my SO a lap dance. But If that ever occurred….that could be the end of our relationship. I think its disrespectful in the first place to sexually touch any other person then your SO when you are in a relationship.
Honestly, how many men would pay for a lap dance for their woman from a male stripper, then watch and be OK as their lady pulls out his Pickle and gives it a little stroke? lol!
is it sad that i know EXACTLY which strip club this picture was taken in?…it's right by my usual vantage point; the end of the bar right by the get your 1's/food window…
Yo Carv!
Food and 1s window. That means that the same person who touches your food, is giving you 1s. Do you know where those 1s have been? Something ain't right with that picture. I like my joint in DC because they have a carryout right next door that delivers into the strip club. We have separation of church and state in that piece.
I'm not far from DC… I will meet you there next time!
i never thought about it like that, fortunately i'm never hungry at the strip club…
i might go tomorrow (twitter thursdays #FTW) and laugh at anyone with a plate of wings….and they have the nerve to brag about their food on their twitter acct, blaspheme!
Ewwwww.
Eating @ a strip club. I'm sorry but I couldn't I rather wait and grab something to eat on the way home.
The first time I went to this club Stadium, I was taken against my own free will. All I remember is coming to, and my homegirl had my credit card. I didn't know what was going on, but they serve crab cakes in this place. And I spent about an hour explaining to everyone why serving seafood in a strip club is just not a good look. I was happy to find out that they've removed all their seafood offerings from their menu.
LOL the kitchen in the NYC clubs is FARRR away from the $$$$
Okay so maybe I might just be of a different state of mind because I see not a thing wrong with going to a gentlemen's club with a SO or buying a lapdance.
The way I see it we are at a strip club so one should expect for slight toching to happen heck, I be in there checking the chicks myself!
We can both get turned on, go home(if we make it that far) and get down to the get down!!! Focus all that engery towards me daddy!
YUP!
woooooooord! Inspiration is contagious…..gon' head mama.
I think this is a classic example of women getting themselves into things they have no business doing. She was probably feeling herself buying that lapdance like "oh look at me I'm the coolest girlfriend ever" and then one palming of the as$ later it's a problem.
If the only way you're cool with your dude getting a lapdance is if you make the rules and he keeps his hands to himself then you're probably not all that cool with your dude getting a lapdance.
Right?! She was clearly not 'bout that life.
This pic is hilarious, what are they doing? Anywho, I love the occasional strip club outing so I might be biased. I'll go to see girls dance with my friends (I find male strippers to be well…cheesy) and I've gone with my man a few times. I'd like to think I'm a cool girlfriend but I am territorial. I can't help it. I think when love is involved, most people get alittle jealous. We get lap dances…yay…fun but some lines shouldn't get crossed in the presence of your woman. I know it sounds contradictory like why are we even there in the first place but I think everything should be done in good taste. No hands. Wacka. I know it's not fair cause I'm allowed to touch the woman….but life's not fair. 🙂
Pic is crazy. The chick on the bottom left is showing great upper body strength… it's actually pretty impressive.
Yeah strippers have great upper body strength.
Pole dancing is a lost art form in Black strip clubs across the United States. Henny and fat badonkadonks has rendered them useless. I'm still in support of poledancing becoming an Olympic event. I've seen some things that just baffled me. Like really baffled me. A lot of chicks are into yoga and zumba, take some pole dancing and see if you don't tone up REAL FAST.
Actually climbin da pole is all about leg strength…
I always be thinking "D@m I hope she don't fall."
@Dr. J
Exactly. I watch youtube videos of diff pole stunts like daaaaaamn. (check out something called the "death lay")That definitely is a sport and they deserve gold medals. They do have competitions.
@Nagis
I took a striperobics class and it's mostly arm strength for me holding myself up was alot of work. They make it look so easy.
I like to watch youtube videos of people falling off the pole. *shrugs*
The Pic is FAN-Tastic….
Good Post Streetz
A lot of the strip clubs in the DMV are in warehouses so the poles are like 20 feet high. I haven't seen anyone fall luckily. You could really get hurt. But I've seen quite a few girls climb all the way to the top then slide down using only their legs. It's impressive.
We have a famous strip club in Miami called King of Diamonds (rappers love giving it a shout out) The women are very talented and often pretty…anywho, it used to be a warehouse so the poles are extremely high as well. I watched a girl try to turn around and fell straight on her back. I swear for a min we all thought she died.
LOL. D@m.
I've never been to a strip club with a S/O
Hell, I've only been to a strip club once…ever. And I seen some male strippers at a bachelorette party.
Annnnnywho, I think the terms and conditions should be stated before going inside the club. She brought him the lap dance, not sure how much those things go for…but she should've smacked the tush and grabbed a boob…get your money's worth.
I forgot the most important part. Cherokee D'ass is going to be at Stadium in DC this weekend performing.
I thought some of you might want to know that. I'm going… if anyone is going out there, hit me up.
I've been to the strip club several times with my fiance. I've gotten lap dances with and without her (same trip). Its cool and all but I'm too paranoid about being disrespectful so I just keep any interactions to a minimum.
Now, if I'm out with the fellas. Yeah…its whatever. Not coming home with any extra aquatic buddies (if you catch my drift) but It's a different kind of fun depending on the party I go with.
As for the scenario given. It all depends on if it was their first time going or not. Either way some rules have to be established. I'd usually let her establish them though. So nothing major that could be taken the wrong way unless she gives the okay.
(shrugs) maaaan I don't know. Maybe I'm too exclusive, but strippers in strip clubs don't stimulate me. Been to a few, and it's like "eh, I'm not f^cking so I don't care". I'm probably just being selfish here, but if we're going to the strip club…..it's for HER to learn the moves to practice on me. What gets me going is the suspense-build prior to her letting me Break her off a piece of that Kit Kat. This implies that I'm actually gonna get it versus a tease.
I agree with the majority of the room. GF shouldnt dictate the rules of engagement for a gift that she's giving. Now if they were SHARING, then of course a disclosure provides some convenience. It's like establishing a safety word before the bondage initiates. Oh, how that would HURT if you never received the safety word!!!
Personally, if a chica was going to treat me to a strip tease – my advice – I'd rather her do it herself. If she says we're going to heaven, and we only stop at floor 240 with 20000 more to go…I will be hesistant in taking her seriously, in the future. Communication and honesty are vital for me to be conditioned to her nonverbal cues and idioms, so I can respond accordingly. I don't wanna be teased only for it lead to me being left in the Mohave Desert without a compass, a change of underwear, tissue, and an azimuth. We can go to the Hollywood Sex store on 6th Ave, buy an outfit, some Stee-Lows, and you can dry hump me in the living room with some candles and smooth, seductive music on my Lazy Boy w/ the vibration adjustment switches = )
Nothing against strip clubs, We'd go….but she'd be disappointed if she were looking for me to excited.
I'm usually like that but there is usually one banging chick that puts all others to shame. And she always notices me when I'm ready to leave.
15 more mins here won't hurt…
LMAO!!!!
…..catches breath…..
LMAO!!!!
….pauses from typing….
….wipes tear from eye….
Gotta love that eye candy.
i think she's wrong. she never should have paid for his lap dance if she knew she was going to feel some type of way when he touched the stripper. matter of fact if she knew she was going to feel some way then she shouldn't have gone with him.
i know i wouldn't have been in this type of situation because i don't frequent strip clubs. not my thing at all. *shrug*
What's up with strippers that don't want to be touched? Don't they know they in the wrong profession? ROFL
Dancing is one thing. Lap dancing is exchanging a sexual favor for money. Any stripper that doesn't recognize this or wants to pretend like a lap dance is just a dance needs to get the ufck on and find a new job. Or just keep walkin around the strip clup wonderin why the other b@tches are makin rent money two hours.
Dr. J…..DC strip clubs are the worse. Lap dancing is illegal. Its illegal in PG to but its not enforced.
Oh and Roxy Reynolds was at Stadium last week. Almost got me out of the house for that one.
DC strip clubs are more about chilling that anything else. It's legal in PG County because there isn't one strip club that it's not legal to touch. Stadium is okay, but expensive. Iriving's and Fuegos though…. oooo weee. IMHO, this area doesn't have the best strip clubs, you'll have to travel pretty far for that. Why do we need strip clubs when we have all these women in the club anyway that we can take home and really touch?
One of my mans was in Irvings back when they was tryin to shut it down. PG police sent a swat team in dat joint. ROFL Came in wit da ski masks on and everything. Talk about blowin your high ROFL.
This chick is all kinds of wrong. If she couldn't take the sight of her man groping a woman, she never should have paid for a lap dance. You can't give a "gift" with strings attached.
I guess I can't relate, because I'm among the .5% of the male population that doesn't care for strip clubs. I guess I just never really have been into window shopping.
"I guess I can’t relate, because I’m among the .5% of the male population that doesn’t care for strip clubs. I guess I just never really have been into window shopping."
Love that last line!! Great metaphor. I'd rather browse with the intent to take something home. A wish list is a great and all….but I'm the type that doesn't like shopping unless I'm gonna experience my purchase.
However, I can see the strip club as being a place to simply clear your mind of unwanted stress. Some of us men feel that the image of a naked woman makes us comfortable enough to relax ourselves. The environment you're in could help you put things into perspective.
"…I’m among the .5% of the male population that doesn’t care for strip clubs…" Another member of the 0.5%…
Take chicks who aren't your girl but like strip clubs to strip clubs. It's always fun while you're there or afterwards. Trust me.
I never had this problem. I never been to a strip club.
So in honor of this post, I'm hitting Sin City for "Customer Appreciation Night"
Streetz what's good?
Lap Dances don't come with rules unless enforced by the club. Don't buy him a dance if he can't enjoy it. I would want him to have fun. I'm from Atlanta (Strip Club Hub of The WORLD) and I spent Christmas in a strip club…so i guess I'm not the best chick to ask for an opinion. lol
If homegirl really wanted to buy him a lap-dance without having to worry about him getting toooooo excited … she should've taken him to the Clermont Lounge.
@G6,
I guess it's about the relationship you are in. Strip clubs are about performance and fantasy. My fantasy is between me and the person or persons I'm doing my thing with, the Strip joint simply attempts to monetize that space but where my libido is concerned I really don't need a middleman. Been to a joint in Hotlanta and it's all raw there. Guess fantasies ain't got no owners, so the SO should not really be trying to control that.
Wow the SBM Prudes are back up in this bytch!!!
Let me say this:
I think that if things are established ahead of time, SOs can have a LOT of fun in the strip club. You also gotta know your SO as well. In the story above, the gf eventually warmed up, but I think it was more of a "don't get TOO crazy" type of thing. More times out = more comfortability.
Its definitely more "relaxing" with your boys or non-gfs because you dont have to worry about disrespecting, but if your gf is learning new tricks, or getting turned on, only wins can be won.
If you a shady dude with a known shady past, dont take your girl to the titty bar. Have some couth good man!
DeKeLa. Saturday round up the troops!!
She does not dictate lapdance procedure.
He can do whatever.
She can stay home.
Or she can learn how to
pole dance.
Since you're asking for SBM readers to contribute their opinion… First of all, this opinion is from a single black male who sees no logic in going to the strip club. Second of all, I don't see a "…hilarious but intriguing scenario …" I instead see a potential "nigga catastrophe"… Same as that TRICK question "does this dress make me fat?" Ugh…
Third, I bluntly think the woman was STUPID for buying her man a lap dance. "…Well, if I buy someone a iPod as a Christmas gift, I don’t tell them how to use it, or demand that they use it a certain way, because it’s their goods now…" EXACTLY!!! The only lap dance in which such a woman COULD control is a lap dance that SHE is doing to her man… Why get apples from a neighbor's house when you pass the apple tree in YOUR backyard on the way?! Goodness… Such a woman can LEARN to lap dance… If such a man was like me and IF my woman was smart enough to ask about such things I engage in some "show and tell"… There is such a thing as the Internet, you know!!! Or, how about some "hands-on-training"??? That's MUCH more fun…
"The only lap dance in which such a woman COULD control is a lap dance that SHE is doing to her man… Why get apples from a neighbor’s house when you pass the apple tree in YOUR backyard on the way?! Goodness… Such a woman can LEARN to lap dance"
Prrrrrreach! Two thumbs up. Nothing wrong with an open relationship. But as forementioned: what's wrong with the GF's body? Wouldn't it be a turn on for a woman to have a little more power? Another sense of control (difficult to resist, but not impossible). Wouldn't be awesome from the woman's perspective to have another weapon in her Armory of Seduction that would prompt her BF/Hubbie into a barrage of bragging at the workplace or with the crew?
To me…that's a turn on. A woman who has one face but a multi-faceted personality. She'd have like a secret identity….and only I know about it (giggles with childlike glee).
Yo…males…..would you take your breezy to a male strip club and buy her a dance?
oy reall now
I think it's silly to purchase one's partner a lapdance and expect him to sit there aroused and doing nothing. That said, the very idea of my significant other at a strip club, with or without me, is unappealing to me. That's not even including a lap dance. As for the LD, its whole point is sexual arousal. I don't know what part of my man being sexually aroused by another woman is supposed to be pleasant. That body contact really shouldn't be happening with anyone but me. I'd be concerned if my man were to see me grinding on another at a jam at not be perturbed in the least, and no one will convince me that this is any different.
You already know how I feel about the strip club.
#Plug: http://www.wisdomismisery.com/?p=1996
I will say going with your girl is usually not a good look. I dont care if they do say "it's cool" and blah blah blah. It's never really cool. And I had a bi girlfriend. And it STILL wasnt cool. Well it was but let's just say it's not worth the headache.
Rolling with your boys > Rolling by yourself > NOT ROLLING AT ALL > Rolling with your girl.
But to answer your question, if you ARE going to go and have the audacity to act like you ARE cool with it and get your man a dance you need to drink a tall cold glass of STFU and DEAL.
The bird is the word…
I feel you… I try to help the women of my past out with my "three strikes policy"… Each of such women would suggest something followed by "it's cool". I would ask her "are you sure it's cool?" Usually such women would say "yeah". I would ask AGAIN "are you sure it's cool?" followed usually by "yeah, it's cool"… THIRD time, Sesame Street-style "are you SURE that it's cool?" Followed by "yeah"… Anyone who knows me knows I'm not down with a woman playing games since most CLAIM to not be down with being PLAYED games. In my utilizing my "three-strikes policy", I am GIVING a woman TIME to THINK about what SHE is saying… AND, the OPPORTUNITY to REALLY communicate… Word to the wise, ladies… Words have power… Use them accordingly… Don't front on your man… You're ONLY cheating YOURSELF in the long run…
Thing about that is, a lot of people don't realize that certain things aren't really cool with them until it's too late. A lot of things are, in theory, "harmless".
There are a LOT of things in strip clubs that AREN'T "harmless"…
You and I know that, but a lot of people would like to convince themselves otherwise.
"Thing about that is, a lot of people don’t realize that certain things aren’t really cool with them until it’s too late. A lot of things are, in theory, “harmless”"
Conceptually….it's harmless or pleasurable. Experientially….would make you bitter or courageous. I feel ya right here. Sometimes you need the sensation and emotional stimulation in order to know the truth. Sometimes you gotta reprove your theories.
" I don’t know what part of my man being sexually aroused by another woman is supposed to be pleasant. That body contact really shouldn’t be happening with anyone but me."
By the way…my name is John Skwalker…and I approve this message.
"You and I know that, but a lot of people would like to convince themselves otherwise." Then such people are fools.
Why would the woman buy her boyfriend a lap dance if she wasn’t going to let him enjoy it? She shouldn’t have gone if she couldn’t accept what was going to happen. She probably would have been upset with the interaction of the lap dance even if he paid for it. Then she bought him another dance? This girl needs to sit down or learn to work the pole for her boyfriend’s entertainment.