Bust a fat nut and try again. Try again…just kidding.

For whatever reason over the last year, I’ve seen an increase in the number of people who have broken up then gotten back to together…then broken up…then gotten back together. Then broken up…Thank you Facebook. Now I’d be a frontin’ arse negro if I said I’d never done versions 1.0 thru 4.0 of a relationship with one chick. Usually when my relationships have ended, they ended. One of us may have been trying to reinstall the relationship to original factory conditions, but the other party never agreed to make things official again…even if the cd went into the disk drive a few more times.

I think the one time that I did do the dance back and forth breakup/together thing, it got to version 3.0. Looking back at that and all it’s awfulness, it’s easy to see that I was just comfortable where I was and thought I really wasn’t going to find anything better. I know that sounds pitiful, but I’m sure there’s a good number of people that visit this blog who can identify with that thought process…probably in their younger days or maybe even more recently.

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When you’re the counselor for people who keep doing this dance, it can drive you just as crazy as it’s probably driving them, if not more. So for today, I wanted to explore some of the reasons that people break up and keep getting back together since the good readers here have voted this question as a topic they’d like to see covered.

Return on Investment

The longer you’re with someone, the more difficult it is to break up for good the first time around sans something reckless happening like the boyfriend walking in on his girl taking backshots from her “good friend for years”. All that time that you spend with someone is an investment. If you’ve been dating for a year or 2, you may feel that you owe the person another shot or 2 or 3 or 4 if they messed up. You may also get bogged down into the rationale of “There must be a reason we made it this far.”

Deep Strokes McGood Box

If the s*x is on and pizzling, it can temporarily reignite the flame that is more like smouldering ash. I don’t know how many times I’d have to tell female friends to stay away from the D if they wanted to truly break up with their man that was swinging slinging good wood. Men are just as guilty here though. We’ll often end up laying there butt-arse naked cuddled up wondering why we’re now back in a relationship with the same chick again. It’s a vicious cycle of despair and orgasms.

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Complacency

I mentioned it earlier, but after a while people really do get complacent. It’s easier to get back with someone that you’ve been in a relationship with for a while then go through the whole dating process all over again. To a lot of men, it’s secure and consistent bunz with little to no effort. To a lot of women, it’s constant D and ever elusive commitment from a man. For a smaller percentage of the population, the self esteem thing creeps in. The “can I do any better” and the “I really don’t wanna be alone” start running through the head.

Optimism

Some people just really think they can work things out and each break up was just a “misunderstanding”. Foolishness. Enough said.

So these are just a few of the reasons that people break up and repeatedly get back together. I’m no know-it-all, so what does everybody else think of this phenomenon of breaking up and repeatedly getting back together? Have you been a part of this before? If so, why? And lastly, do you have any friends who drive you crazy with this?

Heading to an island very soon,

slim jackson