We spend a lot of time talking and discussing about the good.  What makes a good man?  How to find a good woman?  What makes you toes curl, eyes roll back into your head, and the Lord’s name to come out of your mouth s*xual relations good? But … what good is the good without the bad?

There is no doubt that the world is filled with lame and un-dateable guys.  I hate em, women hate em, eff em.  They usually mess things up for the good guys (like us here at SingleBlackMale) and can turn a beautiful black woman with the potential to make herself and a man happy … into a spiteful and bitter sister.  F*ing shame …

Today, we will highlight these lames … these herbs … these tools (for the 2520s in attendance) … as I present:

SBM’s List of Absolutely and Completely Un-dateable Men

The Simp

I know there are a lot of women reading this right now and thinking “Simps aren’t bad … I love me a good simp” … but I’m talking about a real simp.  Simps have no backbone, they can’t make you feel like a woman because they can’t act like a man.  Sure he might spend money on you and give you undue amounts of attention … but so does a puppy.  You trying to f**k your puppy?

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The Arrogant A$$hole

“Wait, so you don’t have an S500? You don’t know P. Diddy?” This guy loves to talk about himself, where he went to school, who he knows, and what he owns.  According to him … the best thing about his girl is that she has him attached to her.  He might impress friends, but will annoy any woman after bringing up his recent promotion 10 times in an hour.

The Loser

No motivation outside of catching the weed man Monday mornings.  No job (or an underpaying one), lives with mom/cousin/ex/friend and just ain’t doing sh*t.  Can’t afford gas (or a car) … but somehow always makes it to the club. Run unless your looking for another dependent in your life.

The Wannabe Player

He swears he has 8 other girls waiting for him if you act up, and reminds you every other day.  He has tons of females friends who don’t want him, but he swears all want to be broke off … and when he inevitably cheats (attempting to live the lifestyle) it will be with the girl nicknamed “Even I wouldn’t put my d*ck in that”.  If you gonna play yourself … at least find a real one.

The Cheater

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He claims he can stop anytime, really “loves” his girlfriend, and only loves her (“these other b*tches ain’t nothing to me baby … we just f***in”).  Somehow someway … he just keeps slipping and falling d*ck first into some p*ssy.  He has smashed your friends, co-workers, and tried to holla at ur moms … but pops wasn’t having it.  Save yourself the syphilis shot.

The Pretty Boy

3 hours in the morning to get ready, 3 hours at the gym, And a personal stylist to cater to his twice a week shape up.  Never met a mirror he didn’t like and is quick to remind his loving girlfriend how lucky she is to be dating an adonis … a god among men (as he likes to say).  He might be pretty to look at … but feed your shallow a$$ a solid dose of act right and get you some substance.

The Effeminate

He cries at movies.  He watches Lifetime.  He drinks cosmopolitans.  He’s seen ever episode of Sex In The City (#SBMSecret I do like the show … Miranda be whilin) and cried at the end of the movie.  He always wants to talk about his feeling and doesn’t drink beer.  I was about to leave him off the list because there isn’t actually any “man” in there. Unless you want to date “one of the girls” drop some tissues and run.

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I covered the basis, but I’m a guy so I have only noticed these lames from the sidelines.  Ladies, did I miss your current situation a type you experienced? Fellas, any advice for these ladies.  We all know lames … lets air em out.

SBM ala Luke Skywalker (Bringing balance to the force) aka See Ladies … I’m not always treating ya’ll bad!