"B*tch you don't know me." - Jamie Foxx

So… surprise! It’s me on a day that I’m usually not, but the big homie Slim needed to take a personal day and I decided to step in with a gem for you guys. Anna N., one of my favorite SBM readers said something last week about women who do not like other women and how you all need to just get over that and I truly do agree with her. I can’t tell you how when a woman says, “All my friends are men, I don’t get along with women.” It’s slightly unattractive. Really unattractive, why do I want to date a woman who acts like a man? You feel me?

But the fact remains, women just don’t get along. They don’t like each other, they don’t trust each other, they don’t like their mother, sister, female cousins, daughters, and grandkids. They will inevitably have a falling out, and they are so vindictive they can go years without speaking all because someone smudged your Louboutins on a crazy night at the club. In college I would say, “If there’s a group of women in a group larger than three, before they graduate there will be a shake up.” (Disclaimer: You and your LS’s do not count, boo boo.) Now I’m not a woman, and I don’t profess to have you guys figured out, but the biggest question is… WHY?

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And I think I know why.

Women know women because they are women. The sixth sense is truly understanding your gender. And for women they understand their gender better than anyone else. They not only understand their personal self, they understand everyone who is a woman. And for that reason they really don’t like themselves, or their faults, so they don’t trust someone else’s efforts to control their faults. So in fact, I’ll state the following thesis, women who don’t like women, don’t like themselves.

Another reason why women don’t like men is because of good men. Over the weekend while enjoying some day drinking heading towards disaster because it was 90 degrees and I was drinking rum punch on the Waterfront, I told my boy, “Men and women are allergic to relationships for two completely opposite reasons.” Men don’t want to be tied down, and women can’t find anyone worth being tied to. So women are protective of their good men. And since women are looking for good men, they understand that if they have one, or their eyes on one, there’s probably a dirty sock heffer trying to steal him.

Women don’t care what people think and they know that every woman has her opinion on everything, therefore, they don’t like that other woman side eye’ing her all the time. They know that since they have a little hate or “wince” in them, every woman has a little hate or wince in them. They don’t want you to judge them, and they know there is a snagger tooth heffer waiting to say something negative about them.

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And last but not least, women do not get along because they don’t have to get along. In life this is true, women don’t really need another woman in their life. They will convince you they don’t need anyone, but follow me for a second… A woman will do perfectly fine by growing up, educating herself, providing for herself, finding a husband, and having some babies. At no point in that is there a reason for her to have a woman in her life. She doesn’t need a best friend, her man will do. And since women don’t like each other, why would she waste her time trying to build a bridge to a place she doesn’t like.

Well, I’m just saying, lol. Anyway, women please break the bank and tell us why you don’t get along. Men, please comment and confirm all men’s suspicion that these women don’t get along. In other words, SBM massive speak on it.

“Though the fans want the feeling of this guy called Slim, But all they got left is this guy called Doc.” Slim will be back next week.