Nah, let me tip my hat to you.

I wrote a post a while ago on how I hated R&B. I used to feel like it put me to sleep and it was often for the emo. I could barely get through an album in Itunes without having to switch to some upbeat hip hop song with gunshots. Well, maybe not gunshots, but something that energized me or made me feel motivated to go do something other than bag hoes, push rock, or floss my flashiness. But since this past Wednesday, things have changed me. People say that changes don’t happen overnight, however I feel like that’s what happened to me.

I was sitting at work on Wednesday in what proved to be one of the most hectic weeks since I started my new job. My boss suggested that I put on some headphones, block off my calendar, and get some work done in serenity. First off, I’ve never had the opportunity to listen to music at work. It always seemed to be a luxury that others had as their their statuses and away messages listed what songs they were listening to as they waged war against “The Man.” I was beyond excited to finally have this opportunity. After logging into Pandora for the first time in years, I noticed what I previously had set up as my preferred station. After listening to 3 rap songs, I suddenly felt compelled to try something different. I typed in Frankie Beverly. It was like someone whispered to my subconscious and my fingers just did the rest of the work.

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2 songs in and I was hooked. I found myself repeatedly hitting the thumbs-up button to his tunes and to some of the other songs that Pandora recommended I give a try. One song in particular got my attention. It was a track by Maze ft. Frankie Beverly called I Wanted to Feel that I’m Wanted” that made me stop what I was doing in MS Excel and just listen.

All I know is
I want to feel that I’m wanted
Oh how I need to feel that I’m needed

Can’t you see that I want to
Feel that I’m wanted
Baby I need to
Feel that I’m needed

The same things you want
I want them just like you
The same things you need
You better believe gotta believe
That i want them just like you want to
All the things that you need
Yes i want what you want
All i need is what you need
Yes I love what you love
The same things you need

These lyrics are so incredibly simple, yet so incredibly complex. I took a second to look back at some of my relationship failures and why I was told things didn’t work out. A lot of it came down to my inability to express certain things. I didn’t feel too bad because I know that many men struggle with the exact same thing. And one of the main complaints I here on the internet is that a lot of men don’t know how to communicate their feelings and what they need. I think Maze and Frankie gave a good starting point to address that complaint. Relationships are a give and take type of thing. You can’t demand of someone what you’re not willing to give yourself. If you don’t feel wanted or needed by your significant other, maybe you’re not making him feel that way either. Expressing emotions can be a difficult thing to do to begin with, so what is a man’s motivation to do this if you can’t take the risk and do the same? Thank you Frankie.

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Since Wednesday, I’ve listened to a lot of other songs that have made me reflect on different aspects of my life. Much of what I have listened to left me feeling like the author came to the future, jumped in my head, then went back in time to write the song. I can’t believe what I’ve been missing all of these years. But hey, I wrote that post about disliking this type of music over a year ago. Looking back, perhaps I never really gave it a try. So yeah, I’m a bit of a changed man overnight. In those situations where I don’t know how to express myself, at least I have another vehicle to try to get my point across. I still ain’t no emo cat though.

So for today, what songs between the period of 1975 and 1995 do you think best captured the essence of your life or a particular situation that you were going through? Also, have you utilized music as a communication vehicle with your significant others of past and present?

Still not feeling a lot of this contemporary R&B though,

Twitter: @slimjackson Website: www.threewaystotakeit.com