When I first heard that I would be getting an advanced copy of the book, Bitch Is The New Black, I hurried to read the original Washington Post article that author Helena Andrews posted.  When I had read before, I sat with my head tilted trying to ascertain exactly what she was trying to get across to the reader.  But I think it was her herself who confused us all when she said, “What I am trying to say about single Black women in any urban environment is, you don’t know them as well as you think you do. They may not know themselves as well as they think they do.” And that was the basis for which I started reading this book.  Admittedly, I placed her in a category of, and with all due respect, another Black woman who has lost her damn mind.

The first few chapters proved to be entertaining.  I felt that I knew this woman very well because she was almost exactly the same girl as so many Black women I knew in DC who were single.  It is the woman that most people blog about, when they are not digging deeper to find that there are more precious stones to be found.  I read about a woman in her late twenties, in DC, who attended an Ivy League school, was not originally from DC, and who also happened to be a Black Greek.  Maybe it’s just me, but I’m looking at what is THE dating pool in DC.

See Also:  Happy Labor Day! Crack some crabs or crash a BBQ!

But it reminded me that this presumed dating pool in DC is still too predictable, not practical, but most of all wildly inconsistent.  It reminded that Black women have the potential to make excuses and exceptions, they can be stubborn, yet settle, and most of all there is always collusion amongst friends.  Being the man on the other side of that phone conversation with “Dex”, a character in the book who represents THE dating pool in DC and other major cities, I realize that women are on to the “It’s not you, it’s me” speech.  But he also reminds us that despite how strong our Black women are, they have a soft spot in their heart that makes them vulnerable and thus they need us to protect them.  I can’t count the amount of women that for nothing more than the faith in things not seen still continue to deal with a “Dex” who does nothing for them but let them down constantly and frequently.

Helena has a support system as she goes through life and love.  And whether her friend is single or not, it reminds us that oft times your support system can cause you to be single.  I think many women listen to their friends advice about dropping a guy, instead of brainstorming ways about how to make this guy work.  Notwithstanding sometimes your friend allows you to deal with a guy who you need to drop.  But in the end your friend is always there for you, so… le sigh.

The book touches on the Helena’s relationship with her mother and her reflections on childhood.  And as we reach the middle of 2010 we realize that long gone are the tales of Black homes that looked like the Cosby show.  They have been replaced with single mothers, who might be lesbians, children dealing with domestic violence before they should have to, and the hypersexual version of playing “House.”  (This version is not shown on FOX 5.)  I walked away with a feeling that from cradle to the here and now, Helena had always been given lemons and told to make lemonade.  And I think she ends up realizing that things may not be the way they were planned, but they are just okay.

See Also:  Happy Independence Day

In conclusion, was it a good read?  Most certainly.  I read the book in two sittings.  On the way to NYC, and on the way back from NYC.  Is it a book for everyone?  I can say without a doubt that every Black woman should read this book whether you be single, in a relationship or married, there’s something in this book for everyone and I’m sure you know Helena very well.  For men, this book may convince you that the woman you are dating or pursuing is not an alien or oddity.  Nevertheless, I can’t wait to see this book become a best-seller. 

In short, Dr. J approves this message.