Even when they don't know that they are.

I was reading the post that my e-cousin, Panama Jackson, wrote for VSB last week on the similarities between the rap and blog hustles. If you haven’t read the post, you should take a look. A reader suggested in the comments that one of the perks of being a male blogger is one that’s also enjoyed by musicians. I sprinted to the WordPress admin panel to jot down the perk so I could do what I’ve done here. What’s that perk you ask?

Groupies.

I’m not gonna sit here and deny that there aren’t women that would sleep with me simply because I write for a popular blog, articulate my thoughts well, and don’t cause their eyes to bleed when they see me in 2 or 3D. That would be nonsensical bootychatter. At the same time, there are plenty of women that just appreciate all the intricacies and efforts that go into regularly providing one’s thoughts to the world to read. Once you put yourself out there publicly, you open yourself up to the good, the bad, and the ugly. That really does take a certain type of person; especially when they decide to attach a real life picture that makes them identifiable in public. It’s not hard to see why someone would find that intriguing, fascinating, or well…bawse. The same can be said for someone that has the ability to sling together rhymes, distribute their songs, and perform in front of crowds while knowing that a lot of the people there may not like what they have to say.

One of the trickier things to do nowadays is decipher between who’s a fan, who’s a groupie, and who’s just plain thirsty. I had probably 10 different conversations with men and women before I wrote this post. As a matter of fact, I wrote 3 different versions before I settled on this one. So here’s what I’m thinking:

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Groupies have evolved.

I’ve had to reevaluate how I define a groupie. I used to think that it was a woman that probably graduated high school, worked in menial gigs, and was looking for a story to tell her girls; or, get brought into the fold so that they could live the lavish life with the stars. As I’ve found out over the years, that isn’t always the case. Groupies have become sophisticated. They have college degrees from top universities. They have high paying specialized day jobs. They’re devout in their faith and see nothing wrong with fighting their way into potential facebook pics or hotel rooms on Saturday night and then clapping their hands on Sunday morning. Groupies still do the same sh*t, but now they just have better resumes. Some of us men will even end up marrying them.

I’ve also discovered that their are different types of groupies. There are the ones that demonstrate the more traditional behavior of course. There are also ones that are a bit more strategic. For instance, there are women that get in with the stars before they become stars and position themselves as friends. When people try to tell the rapper or blogger that the chick(s) is a groupie, the dude(s) will often respond with “that’s just my homegirl(s).” Little does he know that they have an agenda of their own that doesn’t necessarily include getting pregnant or just being in pictures. They may be trying to get access to the dude’s network so that they can leverage it professionally or socially.

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The line between fan and groupie has gotten really thin.

A fan is someone that likes and supports an artist. They read their posts, buy their music, tell others about the “product,” and maybe even take Twitter avatars and turn them into posters at Kinkos. They click the like button for their Facebook pages and may be interested in following their lives on other social media outlets. I see nothing wrong with that. There’s a reason I follow both halves of Sister Sister even though one of them is on a show that I find quite shitty.

The problem is that some folks go above and beyond the normal fan characteristics. They get emotionally attached to these people online and/or in real life. They might make it a point to be at every possible event the person or group is at and they’ll fight their way to the front to see them and in many cases do whatever the person(s) wants. They’ll hop on planes and take time off from work to go see someone who is often more self-important than anything else. Some will even offer their services, not necessarily but possibly sexual, in exchange for just having the chance to be around. Others just want to feel like they’re a part of something.

I’ve definitely done my fair share of defending readers to people that aren’t active online who deem any women that reaches out to be a groupie. And honestly, I’ve found myself more confused at the end of my explanation than when I started for some folks. I’m actually getting a headache thinking about it. Moving on…

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Thirst is the new taboo.

If I had a dollar for every time a chick said she was cautious about approaching me because she didn’t wanna appear thirsty, I’d have enough money to pay half my phone bill (Verizon ain’t cheap no matter what) for one month. That may not sound like a lot, but it is when you put it in perspective. If it becomes obvious that a chick likes a male blogger or is a blatant stan, it’s likely that some eyes of the XY will be looking on and designating her a thirst bucket. I attribute it to one of 4 things:

  • The thirst labeler is just throwing out some innate shade.
  • The thirst labeler actually likes the person too and feels some type of way about the “competition.”
  • The thirst labeler is encountering some inner turmoil that they can’t resolve otherwise.
  • The chick in question really does need a gatorade or IV.

Whatever the case and whatever you see yourself as, embrace it or change it. Do what makes you happy and healthy…except be thirsty. Oh yeah, don’t get arrested or caught on camera “backstage” in a bathroom stall eye level with the toilet paper. It’s really not a good look for anybody other than the dude looking down.

What do yall think on this groupie vs. fan vs. thirsty debate?

Yo, lock the door,

P.S. – The good folks at SBM are starting a NCAA bracket! Its free to join, so let’s have a little competitive fun. Open to anyone to join. check it out here => SBM Bracketology 2011!

P.S.S. Late addition, but someone sent this to me on Facebook and figured I’d just drop it in this here post.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1KpivsHktk