Redhead chick... red bubbly sipping... #lookatmenow

F*ck Rihanna and her fire engine red hair!  I’m so sick and tired of this broad I didn’t even expect to ever have to go here, but it has to be said.  Something is seriously wrong with Rihanna and we all know it.  What does it say about a person who goes along with Rihanna to the edge of the earth and thinks that anything about her is worth holding onto?

When it seems that our youth have no hope we are reminded that we have public figures like Rihanna.  We are reminded that in this world it doesn’t take talent, it only takes image.  For what it’s worth, Chris Brown is very talented, but because his image is screwed up, he’ll probably never make it out of the purgatory of being blacklisted in the music industry.  I’m sorry Sprite, but image is everything.  And so when you look at a rapper like Rick Ross, whom I think is one of the best in the game right now, and you realize that several things about his story don’t add up, you are forced to come to the conclusion that image is the only thing that reigns supreme.

Let’s look at that for a second because I am not sure most people remember that Rihanna has never exhibited to us that she has any talent.  She can’t dance, she is an average alto, with fire engine red hair.  We’ve almost forgotten that point because people fell in love with her image.  When did people fall in love with her music?  Good Girl Gone Bad.  Yes, America and most of the world fell in love with Rihanna when she started putting away childish things, singing with a filter, stopped dancing, showed more skin, and did a music video in body paint.  (And negroes love body paint.)  The album’s hit single, Shut Up and Drive … think about that for a second.

Didn’t hear from her again until Rated R.  I can’t fault her for doing the same thing Chris Brown did and that’s make an album that’s almost entirely leveraging their personal issues for album sales.  But let’s look at the way she treated this situation.  She basically went to the cops after Chris hit her and told one half of the story.  But you read things in the police affidavit like,

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“Robyn F. picked up Brown’s cell phone and observed a three-page text message from a woman Brown had a previous sexual relationship with.”

Don’t go through people’s phone.

“She turned around placed her knees to her chest, placed her feet against Brown’s body and began pushing him away.”

You mean she kicked the sh*t out of him?

Not for nothing, that whole entire affidavit is painful to read because no one wants to read about a woman being abused, but I mean, she goes on TV and tells this story like this was the first time this ever happened and she was so innocent in all of this.  But you shedding tears on television about this, but we seent you on jet skis with the dude shortly after he got out of jail?  And you were “brainwashed”?

Something ain’t adding up.

Now after all of this, Rihanna suddenly becomes hypersexual.  And by hyper I mean, I’m waiting for the sex tape to go live any moment now with Amber, Nicki and RihRih all in the bed doing “stuff.”  I mean, we already got pictures of her naked that she supposedly sent to who?  No one knows, the dude she was dating at the time said, not him.  Now she’s talking about whips and chains in her next interview.  None of the clothes she wears on stage have a back to them, so we’re just looking at her bare ass all the time.  We’re supposed to actually be watching this and not say anything?

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Then this…

“Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your shit. That’s fun to me …I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned – you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.”

Rihanna, how’s that using his hands thing working out for you?

“I think I’m a bit masochistic. I love feeling like I’m somebody’s girl. I think that is common in people who witnessed abuse in their childhood.”

My little cousins look up to you and I don’t want them thinking that they need to go out and get abused so they can grow up and be famous like you, you sick f*ck!

On her current relationship with Chris:  “We don’t have to talk ever again in my life. I just didn’t want to make it more difficult for him professionally. What he did was a personal thing – it had nothing to do with his career. Saying he has to be a hundred feet away from me, he can’t perform at awards shows – that definitely made it difficult for him.”

Really?  Because all those songs about him, and those interviews, and telling your peoples not to mess with him, wouldn’t affect his career?  Sidenote: Two years past and you still never hesitate to take a question about Chris.

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Listen to me, I may meet Rihanna and find out she’s a nice person.  And you know what else, I don’t know Chris Brown, but I know that men make mistakes.  So you know what, Rihanna makes them too.  I feel bad for her because nobody, woman or man, should have to be in an abusive relationship.  But what brings me to the point of saying, “f*ck Rihanna” is despite the sympathy and prayers we poured out of our hard earned feelings for her, she went and created this thing.  This hypersexual super badass, above the law persona known as Rihanna.  (And I would like for someone to try and tell me why this is all because of her abuse as a child and with Chris Brown )  But wait, before you do that, explain this to me: “If any of you ladies are envious of Rihanna’s figure, she divulges that her secret is a diet of Cheetos and Kentucky Fried Chicken.”

Thanks Rihanna, I’ll be sure to remember this when “Biggest Loser: Daddy’s Little Fat Girls, Season 1” comes out on DVD.

Author’s note: Please don’t make the mistake of not reading this article completely. And do not assume things about how I feel about Rihanna, Domestic Violence, or Child Abuse. I would hate for someone to think that I am saying she deserved any of what she’s gotten, or that I condone any of the behavior. To be perfectly honest, if you focus on anything, focus on the recent events discussed in this post, not the past.