Scale to measure

Since the beginning of time, one question has reigned supreme when discussing the parts of a man most associated with manhood and masculinity. It is a question to which modern science has dedicated decades of study, and one for which nations have crumbled. The question: Does size matter?

Generally, when the size question is broached, it is done so in relation to a man’s ability or err, um… inability to satisfy a woman in bed, but today, I want to look at it from a different perspective. Today, I want to prove to you all why size absolutely matters and why being blessed with a larger than average endowment in your nether regions sucks a whole lot more than you might think.

Let’s jump dive right in (see what I did there).

5) Size Matters! Being Well-Endowed Means Wardrobe Choices Must Be Made With Care.

A few weeks back, I decided I needed to go shopping. It’d been a while since I’d bought new pants and I wanted to get a few pairs that straddled the line of casual and dressy. Basically, I was going for the look on the left, but once I actually got the pants on, I was looking way more like the pic on the right. Not cool.

The tall man

And it doesn’t end at just pants. Undergarment shopping is completely different when well endowed. Basically, when you’re well endowed, you have to have underwear for every occasion. You can never wear straight up boxer shorts — that’s out of the question. But, if you’re going to be wearing jeans that aren’t super tight, you can get away with like a looser fitting pair of boxer briefs. A suit or any sort of dress pant requires boxer briefs that are probably a size or two smaller than what you would normally wear – just to keep everything secure.

See Also:  Still Single? Maybe You Should Settle

There’s nothing worse than when you need to do laundry and you don’t have an acceptable draws/pants combination to wear to work. Like, you have dress pants, but all of the undergarments you’d usually wear with those dress pants need to be laundered. It basically means, you can’t get up from your desk all day. And you ladies don’t make it any easier on us, do you? We see you looking. Stop it.

Let’s not even talk about wearing sweatpants. There’s really no acceptable way for a well-endowed male to wear sweatpants outside of the confines of his home… like ever. Unless you want to end up like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3crX88R-o4

4) Being Well Endowed Means Not All Toilets Are Created Equal

not all toilets are equal

What’s Wrong With This Picture?

Take a look at the picture above. See anything wrong with this toilet. Looks like one you’d find in your basic, run of the mill public bathroom, doesn’t it? When you’re well endowed, toilets like these are completely unusable if you need to cop a squat or drop a deuce.

***Disclaimer*** – This next part is pretty disgusting, but we family, right? I’m just keeping it real.

The problem with most public toilets is that the bowls are way too shallow. When you’re a well-endowed man and you sit on one of these toilets, your mini-me most definitely hangs down into the toilet water. Yuk, Yuk, Yuk. Forget the fact that no amount of flushing can wash away what that toilets previous sitters may have done to it – even if you just pretend you’re the first person to ever use that particular toilet, it still gets extra cringe-inducing when whatever you’re getting rid of finds its way into the water… the same water your little big guy is dipping his head in. That awkward moment when you feel the log you just sh*tted touch your johnson… worst feeling ever. I know – it’s disgusting, but these are the sorts of things well-endowed men have to deal with on a daily basis. Shame on whoever wrote up the standard specs for public toilets.

See Also:  SBM Sports: Jay Cooke's 2012 NBA MVP Predictions

Gon’ head and keep the party going by swinging over to page 2 —->

Pages: 1 2