While having a conversation with some of my boys, we joked on the weekly Twitter debates on the $200 date. No, I won’t start that up, but we just reflected on how stupid it is that some men and women judge a man by his ability to provide a $200 meal. That discussion sparked this blog, because it angered me that men make interactions with women more difficult than they need to be. I’m beginning a 3 part series which will dive into this topic and will hopefully shed some light on my perspective of the dating scene.

In this installment, I discuss the hidden qualities that men can show to make themselves more appealing to women. This is hidden only because the best place to hide things is right in people’s faces. What I will say may not be “new” but it’s something that men need to hear. Money alone does not determine your worth and appeal to quality women! If you deal in certain circles, you’re more than likely a young professional making good money, earned a few degrees, are a part of professional organizations, and have climbed the ladder to success. More than likely, you’ll have comparable stats with other men, so what makes you different? The following three qualities can help you to diversify yourself and show you that true potential isn’t always on a superficial level:

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A Diversified Vocabulary

I hate and appreciate the English language equally, due to its complexity. There can literally be 50 synonyms for one word. Men don’t have to be language arts masters, but it says something about a man who can articulate his thoughts without vulgarity ever 4 words or utilizing the phrase “You know what I’m sayin?” When a man can properly convey a thought in a clear and concise manner, it shows that you are knowledgeable, educated (not just “book smarts”), and intelligent. When I was younger, I would switch up how I talked in school as opposed to my friends because I was ashamed of being the “smart kid”.I didn’t want to be labeled as a nerd or geek, and I didn’t want to sound like I was above everyone else. As I got older, I realized that you should never hide your intellect to massage another person’s ego. Narcissism isn’t appreciate either. Embrace higher learning and don’t fear the repercussions of how you positively present yourself. Women appreciate communication, so naturally they appreciate a man who is clear in thought and word. You don’t have to have the gift of gab, or have the stoic, broody, teenage vampire show esque persona to be effective. Synonyms are your friend! Exhibiting diversity in how you communicate will be appreciated by women and hey, it works in business and other interactions too.

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Be a Gentleman

It’s sad to say that this isn’t the norm it should be in this day and age. As men, we are influenced by the father figures in our lives, whether it’s our father’s older brothers, cousins, uncles, or good friends. We can learn all of the values and principles from our mother’s but watching men apply (or discard) those gentlemanly measures will be a equal or greater influence. Being a gentleman is more than the cliche idea of chivalry. It’s the way you speak to women, treat women, and carry yourself as a man. Its a level of class that the normal man doesn’t have and exuding this aura of class can separate you from the pack. Not everyone deserves to be treated with class, especially if they carry themselves without class , however you can control the way YOU act. I juxtapose my method of thinking with the example of always tipping regardless of service. It’s customary, the proper etiquette, and you execute it because it’s the right thing to do. That’s how I see being a gentleman. Walk with a classy aura and you’ll draw the right type of woman.

Get You Some Culture

The usual school curriculum before college is well rounded with a variety of subjects for kids to learn. At the time, I thought it was unnecessary and didn’t see the value in a diverse class structure when some of the things I learned I wouldn’t use in real life. As I got older, I saw that you do use that knowledge whether or not you are aware. As I mentioned earlier, conversation can make a man’s appeal turn from a 10 to 1 quick. When you have a variety of topics to discuss, you prove to be a more well rounded individual. Once again, education isn’t relegated to the classroom. Knowledge is readily available to receive. You don’t have to know about everything, but it helps to have diversity and versatility in your subject matter.

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These are just 3 qualities that men can apply and execute towards making themselves more appealing to the opposite sex, and just a better individual overall. It isn’t always about the money, clothes, and cars. Substance will always trump frivolous, materialistic possessions.


Ladies do you agree? Fellas any more qualities?