SAVE ME!!

SAVE ME!!

When you and your friends enter a social setting, the goal is to enjoy yourselves and have a great time. In the course of your social interactions, you may come across a group of the opposite sex with whom you want to converse. Sometimes it’s just for normal conversation, other times there’s some initial attrraction and you want to make first contact to see if numbers and pleasantries can be exchanged. This would seem like simple male-female repartee in the grand scheme of things if it wasn’t for HAF’s (Hating Ass Friends). HAF’s can be your greatest friends, but have this annoying character flaw where they will throw salt in your game and mess up the flow between you and another person. Some good friends of mine saw some characteristics of a HAF, and implored me to speak on it as only I can, so it’s time to expose and entertain. Here are a few ways in which a HAF can spoil the mood of a great situation

The “Arm Pull” Maneuver

Fellas, have you ever been chillin’ with a group of your dudes when a group of women walk past you? If they are attractive, and you have bold friends, they will usually speak up with either a funny line, bluntness, or a cordial hello. This, as with many things related to men approaching women, has a 50/50 success rate. But if she’s in the mood to talk, she will stop and chat for a few. The arm pull maneuver occurs when one friend in the group, who’s either pressed to vacate the current premises or upset that no one wants to chat with her, will walk past the group, tugging the arm(s) of her friends engaged in the conversation, and use a phrase such as “We gotta go c’mon!” at which point she pulls them AWAY from you! It’s like she comes down from the rafters like Sting the wrestler to disrupt the situation! Not only is that extremely rude, it’s pretty corny. Don’t be mad that you’re not getting any burn from the dude who initiated the conversation. Be a good sport, play the position, and wait for your friend to be done! Get on your phone and try to finally get past level 65 in Candy Crush, instead of ruining a nice discussion about nothing between my friends and yours!

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Tag Teaming A Conversation

There’s nothing worse than a friend who can’t recognize that you are engaged in a conversation, exuding charm and charisma, and they feel the need to interject themselves to your detriment. It’s one thing if you’re engaged in group conversation, but once you see the talk break off into individual segments, you have to use your common sense and let your friend work! Don’t be annoying or hang around too long, so that you ruin your buddy’s chance to get the number. Play the bar, spark a different conversation, or something else that’s logical!

Pulling Your Friends Away From Dances

Fellas, if this happens to you, take offense. They think you’re undesirable and that’s the best method of escape for the poor woman who feels held hostage by your uninvited attempt to catch a dub. Sometimes though, they will pull away for the the sake of it, and have you looking like a derelict. This is more hilarious than foul, but still foul nonetheless. Why do you do this ladies? Would it be strange if a dude did this for his guy friend? Not that would be a must see event!

The Claim Game

While men will resort to dirty mackin’, women play the claim game. This is an equally selfish move, where you would fabricate the level of involvement you had with someone whom your friend finds attractive, so that they won’t want to pursue due to your past history. I wrote about this a few years back, and here’s a quick excerpt to illustrate my point:

On another note, just because someone “wanted to holla at you first” gives you no basis by which you would place a claim! Infatuation is fantasy based, and when people face reality, their feelings can and will flip like acrobats. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s human. I can respect a friend who goes to all lengths to make sure no ill feelings will occur between them if they pursue someone of interest, or ran a train had a previous relationship. To me, that’s a great courtesy, because if you are good friends with this person, you should know if they were seriously dealing with this individual to begin with (or the level of seriousness).

Dirty Mackin’

Fellas, do you have that one boy who lives by the Mackievellian theory of interactions with women. Will he do whatever it takes to get with a woman, with no regard for the possible collateral damage that may occur? Well, you may be friends with a dude who is a “Dirty Mack.” This describes a person who uses less than honorable tactics to gain the affection of their love/lust interest. A case of dirty mackin’ could go like this:

Rufus: What’s good Jane how u? I’m Rufus.

Jane: Hey Rufus. What’s up? You’re friend with Calvin right?

Rufus: Yeah Calvin is my dude!

Jane: That’s cool. He’s always been a dope dude. My friends love him. Speak to him lately?

Rufus: Yeah I saw him the other day. Probably chillin with his girlfriend** or something. So what you getting into tonight?!

 ***  – Calvin has been single for 2 years

Dirty Mackin’ should be a federal offense punishable by consecutive life sentences. Some dudes do it so naturally that they don’t realize they hate on others to get ahead. Won’t front, I used the dirty mack move when I was younger, and I can say that I haven’t seen this done to others as I’ve matured. If you encounter these scoundrels committing these vile actions, defend thyself!

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We love our friends, but they can all exhibit the HAF gene. Hell, we’ve all been a HAF at one point or another. Recognize it, and be better. Don’t be THAT person anymore. Be a full friend, not a HAF.

Streetz

Any other examples of HAF activity? How do you handle these situations? Contribute and share, friends!