how to keep the romance alive in a relationship

Ever wondered what keeps many couples together, and what causes others to split up? Some people enter into relationships for the wrong reasons. As new age guru Deepak Chopra noted, most people seek security in a relationship; we may hook up with a person who makes us feel safe. Finding ‘the one’ can create wondrous feelings. Yet many just don’t survive as a couple. Romance can run out of steam for various reasons. Even highly desirable Hollywood couples like dreamboat Johnny Depp and svelte model Kate Moss; Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, and many others, headed for splitsville though they started out crazy for each other. Everything seemed fine, until the relationship deepened.

Usual Reasons for Breaking Up

The usual breakup reasons are bad sex, jealousy, clinginess, infidelity, work pressures, bickerings over money, not spending time together, drifting apart, and so on. Here are the 15 surefire ways or rules to keep in mind, if you want to fan the embers of love:

Rule #1: Show appreciation for your partner. Actor Ashton Kutcher had always said how beautiful his current partner Mila Kunis is. A wife who gives her hubby a loving kiss and a gentle massage after a tiring day at work is certainly more pleasurable to be with than one who rants endlessly about problems. A woman can also express positive qualities about her hubby during social occasions. Non-verbal cues like a smile and loving touch will also be well appreciated.

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Rule #2: Talk frequently with your partner. Frequent talks deepen the connection between couples, more so if done in a loving, non-judgmental way.

Rule #3: Try to avoid talking only about work issues. Communicating unmet needs more often than not leads to stronger relationships.

Rule #4: Adjust to each others quirks. A guy may have a distaste for socializing, or may have the tendency to feel jealous easily. A woman must manage things her way – instead of hashing out the details of their jealous attacks, she may use a problem-solving approach and gently ask her man what exactly will make him feel more reassured or at ease.

Rule #5: Get to the root cause of irritants or arguments. If you constantly find yourself squabbling with your mate, it may be time to reassess why you keep clashing. Experts say couples who express their thoughts strengthen the relationship more than those who avoid conflict and confrontation. However, if all you do is fight, it can be quite exhausting. It may be better to part ways.

Rule #6: Is to make time for intimacy.  Even older couples way past the passionate sex years may still hug and kiss.

Rule #7 Is to embark on a dream getaway together or go out on an adventure. Visiting faraway destinations can be reinvigorating. Such activities offer bonding moments with your significant other.

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Rule #8 Is to enjoy communing with nature together. Whether in your backyard, at the beach, or the wild outdoors, enjoying Mother Nature can be revitalizing in both the physical and emotional sense. Taking a night stroll can also be romantic.

Rule #9: Is to keep private things private. Unloading personal issues or the negative habits of your hubby with close pals or relatives may backfire.

Rule #10 Is to let bad feelings go. Leave behind the things that may have upset you deeply. In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.

Rule #11: Letting similar values strengthen your relationship further. Going to church together and deepening spirituality can cement a relationship and help keep romance alive.

Rule #12: Attending family gatherings and social functions together and showing signs of caring about your mate’s interests and needs can help a relationship.

Rule # 13: Attending friends function can be a great deal in cementing relationship and it can lead to a lasting love.

Rule # 14: Unexpected demands: The key to a smooth sailing relationship is not to suffocate each other with unrealistic demands and expectations.

Rule # 15: Do not be object-oriented (like buying a luxury sofa but being overly cautious about it); treat your guy like a grown man with a mind of his own rather than a coddled child; show thoughtful gestures everyday; say ‘I love you’ and mean every word; and allot time rather than saying you’re too busy to spend time with your mate. Have you experienced the relationship blahs? Which of these guidelines proved to be useful to you? Find out some of the things that can drive your man crazy in a bad way by referring to useful online references.

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About the Author: Bill Achola is the author and creator of His blog focuses on dating advice and relationships tips that will help you manage your love positively. Join his Google Plus for his daily dating tips. If you want to get more in-depth dating tips, visit his blog. Check out his popular article about: The Metalica Guide on How to Get Your EX Back (Even If Your Situation Seems Hopeless!)