I found myself watching Boomerang over this past holiday weekend. It’s one of my favorite flicks. This time around the experience was a bit different. Something tells me the Taylor Port had something to do with that, but I digress.  I noticed something towards the end of the movie. Angela (Halle Berry) was hurt. She no longer wanted to associate with Marcus (Eddie). He cheated and she was hurt.  Once Eddie realized he simply didn’t connect with Jacqueline the way he did with Angela it all sunk in.

I know many women reading this right now are saying “well that’s what ya get!” I agree with you all fully. But in  most situations like this there’s always the “conversation” that follows. We all know there’s got to be a talk one way or another. So Marcus finally finds his way to Angela. They speak face to face which I will forever feel how things should be done. If not face to face then on the phone. Back to the story. Angela admits to Marcus that she knows they share a real love but that she’s simply scared to try again.

It’s in that moment that I thought that was strong of her to admit. What was even stronger was that she did take him back. We assume that things went well after that as the movie ended. We all have hurt people and we all have been hurt. That was really the whole concept of Boomerang.

It gets real in the field, and trust isn’t easy to come by. So after being hurt how do we know who to trust again? There’s a few ways I think:

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Space – I always believe falling back and reassessing ourselves does great things. If a guy distances himself from you and legitimately changes how he lives then it’s a good sign.

Humility – If a guy can articulate all his wrong doings and understand why it was wrong he might be worth listening to.

Patience – If old boy understands that taking him back won’t be a one day deal then that’s reassuring. If he’s willing to be patient and take baby steps to get back where you all once were then he might be worth it.

Creativity – If a man uses creative (not creepy) ways to try and get your attention then maybe that’s a decent sign. If he steps out of his comfort zone just to get your attention then maybe you can hear him out.

Now to be clear, I’m not absolving men who constantly louse up. Stay away from those. But if a guy does something wrong that you think you can get past in time then give it a shot. This of course is all relative to age as well. I’m 25, so my thinking is hey I still have some growing to do. I anticipate I will drop the ball in relationships from time to time. I’m still learning. I won’t condone a 35 year old making 25 year old errors.

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Everything we do in life should be within reason. The biggest decisions we make should be within reason. Your heart is is important enough to protect. So if you ever find yourself in this position take your time with it. I just wanted it to be known that boys can become men. Unfortunately it takes a fuck up here or there to really drive that home. Anyone feel me? Any ladies ever took back someone that hurt them? Did it work out? Fellas, have you tried to get a woman back that you lost?  If so what did you do to do it?

These are my words and I make no apologies.

DamnPops is a writer on the staff at SBM: “I’m not a biter, I’m a writer for myself and others. ” Brooklyn born dude trying to figure out this life just like you. Come on this journey with me. Follow me on Twitter @DamnPOPS  – Damn He Got A Point” (My Column) on Viral Status