*This is a great time to revisit this post, since last Friday Dr. J is advocated taking women you’ve just met for $200 dates. I think you should put more effort into the planning more so than the spending. Read this old goodie about how I think men should view dates.*

A few nights ago I was watching ‘Pain & Gain’ and Mark Wahlberg’s character Daniel Lugo was trying to convince Anthony Mackie’s character Andrian Doorbal to partake in a robbery scheme. During this exchange he said one line that I will always remember, “When’s the last time you took one of those plump b*tches out to dinner and didn’t sweat them wanting dessert?” Of course it was funny as f*ck, but it was insightful to say the least. Because when you sweat a woman over dessert it implies that you’re either broke or cheap. Many of us have gone through rough patches where we were broke and women understand being broke. But rather you’re broke or not that doesn’t mean you have to be cheap- women hate cheap men.

So check it out, you’re on a date with a woman; you buy her drinks, maybe an appetizer, an entrée, and finally you get to dessert. Now most of the men I know sometimes inherently tally up each and every one of these items over the course of the meal. Drinks $28, Appetizers $22, Entree $64, and Dessert $???.  No matter if we make 40k or 120k- we tally. Here’s the thing though, I don’t know why, but dessert is kinda like an afterthought. Like you can have a delicious meal and skip out on the dessert. For the most part, men try to skip out on dessert because it’s usually the tipping point of the bill. To give you an idea of a guy that’s not trying to buy dessert I’ll paint you a picture:

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Waiter comes and says: How was everything?
Couple: Everything was great it was fantastic!
Waiter: Well, would you guys like dessert?
*Woman looks at man indecisively*
Man: Mmm, I don’t know. Do you? *motions towards stomach* I’m stuffed.
Woman: I don’t know, is it ok?
Man: You’re not full?
Woman: I’m saying I could handle dessert.
Man: These desserts are kinda pricey. I could get *insert here* at Cold Stone for like $4.
Woman: Yeah, but they probably do it better here babe and it’s just more romantic.
Man: *reluctantly says* Well, just get what you want. You know it’s fine. *jokingly says* Ball out!

Why Women Think Men are Cheap?

When you take a woman out on a date, it’s not always the case that she’s counting your money. She’s just valuing and assessing your effort, which sometimes is consequently measured by money. However, you can take a woman to an expensive restaurant and it still be a cheap date, because your thought process was cheap, your effort was cheap, your planning was cheap.

Women say most men are cheap, because a lot of men are lazy and cheap in thought. Women can usually tell how much thought you put into a spot or if you’ve been there a few times. Some guys like to take women to there go-to spot, but it’s lazy and cheap to take multiple women to the same establishment, because all women aren’t the same. All women do not have the same interests. If you want to date and juggle multiple women, something I don’t promote, afford those women unique experiences. Afford all of those women a separate experiences, specifically tailored to their liking.

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What women find most attractive about a man is his ability to execute a plan– whatever that plan may be. To take a woman out on a first date is or should be the pinnacle of planning. You find out her interests, her wants, and her desires then you plan an enriching experience around them. There is a richness or luxury in conversing with a woman, understanding her likes and preferences and actually planning a date solely for her. You do this because you want to show her that you value her time. If she isn’t worth planning for, than obviously she isn’t worth your time, unless you’re not a man of substance or value. So what kind of man are you?

TODAY: Dessert is a metaphor for how you treat/appreciate women and treating women(bearers of life) is a metaphor for how you treat/appreciate life. Stop being cheap fellas. I implore you to stop being cheap in thought and in effort, and in all areas of life. or the Sh!t U Need 2 Know is a blog based on the explicit discussion of sex, relationships, and social commentary. “It’s Where Your Bedroom Voice is Welcomed…” TheSUNK’s author is a native of Chicago and a current Howard University student.