Welcome to this special holiday version of Rantings of an SBM.  For you poor bastards in the office (while I’m grabbing some good shopping deals) and those of you that love us so much to come spend some time while on your vacation.

Slim Jackson

  • Last minute holiday shopping is not the move. A 5 minute drive to a plaza took 30 minutes. I can’t keep havin sporadic high blood pressure. Being a Black male already increases the risk of serious health issues. I hate that stat.
  • As much as SBM denies and refuses to try it, Rum Swizzle is one of the best tropical drinks on earth. Gosling’s Rum holds it down. I rarely drink anything else these days. Buy it. Try it. Love it. (Gosling’s did not pay me to say this. You just need it for the Swizzle.)
  • It feels good to not have to write or monitor my blog for a few days. To all my fellow bloggers. Enjoy the time off, you deserve it.
  • I.Love.Breasts. Have a good weekend everybody!

Mr. FAQs

  • I hate United Airlines! First they canceled my flight (fine) then for an entire day told me I never purchased a ticket. Hope I can get back to LA ok.
  • I love Houston, wish I desired to live here.
  • My family is always full of drama and laughs, got to love it.
  • My 6 month old nephew hates me. For 6 months I’ve heard he’s the “friendliest baby”
    and all this lil negro does is ignore me. Guess I just gotta settle for the over the phone convos.
  • Next year I gotta get a Christmas Tree, never got around to it.
  • Hope I can get some sales this weekend. Although I’m listening to people say “the recession aint in Houston.”
  • Can we talk about how hype I was to be riding in the car and hearing screw on the radio…mayne.
  • In the new year, I’m gonna try and say words like “patnah” “plex” “kinfolk” and “duck as nigga” more just to keep my ties strong and so when I come back I know what the hell people are talking about.
  • I’ve been in town less than 48 hours and already feel like I need could stop eatting now and be good.
  • Hope erebody had a good day with they kinfolk and patnahs and that they aint have to deal with any duck ass niggaz plexin. Happy Holidays fam.
See Also:  Rantings of an SBM


  • I really don’t know if I can ever deal with not having my family’s big holiday dinners and get togethers.  I might be able to give up either Christmas or Thanksgiving … but I think doing without both would cause an issue.  Me and the Mrs. will probably have to fight about this.
  • I barely got anything this Christmas.  I mean … I know its a recession … but … come on.  I’m not salty and I’m a grown man … so I wasn’t expecting much … but … I coulda used a new bottle of cologne or something.
  • My current situation is a little offsetting at times.  I have scolded many a person for this in my day … and in true SBM fashion I’m not going to put my business out there … but I will say this … when your used to wild & crazy … and you get calm & sane … its just a little offsetting.  **disclaimer** And with my past … I’m referring to no one person in specific … but a trend of several years.
  • I think I need to learn how to relax.  A common saying of mine on Sunday is “I didn’t accomplish anything this weekend”.  I never realized the “issue” with it until my brother said to me … “What do you have to accomplish over the weekend? Its the weekend”.  I then went through the laundry list … and he just shook his head and turned on the xbox … *sigh*.
  • I heard a similar company to mine was offering voluntary severance packages.  We just finished an office expansion. Why can’t I get a severance package? Ok … ok … I’m gonna stop complaining and count my blessings.
  • I’m watching Will Smith’s “Wild Wild West” right now … God this movie is awful.  Considering I attempted to listen to Soulja Boy’s latest album earlier this week … I’m starting to think I have some sick masochistic tendencies or something.  Might need to see someone about that.
  • I did practically all of my Christmas Shopping yesterday … on Christmas Eve.  Kind of becoming a tradition.
  • I love Priceline! As mentioned before … I’m heading down to ATL for New Years with friends.  I got the whole trip down to like $500 before gas (for some sick reason we decided to drive) without staying in the SWATS or overall comprimising on how good the trip will be.  BTW … staying for 5 days.
  • Man … I can’t wait to party in Atlanta! Half because I love Atlanta … half because I just want to get out of DC for a little!  I promise I’ll be good this time … no JO story like that other time.
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Your turn

Christmas RANT!