Stay away from my girl you bastard.

Insecurity or any variation of the word is regularly thrown around in the blog world. It’s a word that dominates the sex and/or relationship blog niche and pretty much becomes the default excuse for why someone else’s argument doesn’t make sense or is unfair. For example, men don’t want women with high sex numbers because they’re insecure. Or, women don’t like men having close female friends because they’re insecure. These are probably 2 of the ones I hear the most. Many times, these discussions get heated and someone ends up with their feelings hurt. Well, for today I’m going to be a manly man. I’m going to provide a list of some of the things that make me feel insecure…sorta **burps**. Let’s have some fun with the subject. **swears**

Maxwell

Granted, I can reap the rewards of his music in the sheets when it comes down to the business, but he makes me feel some type of way about him getting the boo moist. Despite any allegations of closet homosexuality, I would not leave him in the room with shorty under any circumstances. And if it did happen and I heard him singing to her, I’d throw a ninja star at his throat.

See Also:  Trust

Idris Elba, Boris Kudjoe, Shemar Moore

iHate sitting on the couch next to whoever the boobookins is at the time and hearing her go “mm” when one of these people is on tv. Don’t be sitting next to me mentally cheating and ish.lol. Yep. I’m a hater sometimes. I can admit it. Therefore, when one or all of them is/are on tv…I change the channel. Sorry boo. Mm mm this.

Pre or Post Coitus Coldness

I don’t like being seen flaccid. Don’t get it twisted out there. My piece does pack a punch. However, if I just came (not that way) from the cold outdoors or from the shower and passed through a cold hallway, I’m not trying to just have my piece exposed and flapping around in an inglorious state. Lord Pumpington only wants to be seen in a majestic state or when he is just “getting up” off his throne.

Losing to the Boo in Anything I Deem Manly

As S-Bizzle said last week, men like winning. I am no different. I am a sore loser. It’s the reason I don’t like playing cards or why I leave the room after someone beats me a couple times in Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. It’s why I go get a drink of water after a game of Horse at the gym. I can somewhat live with one of the boys defeating me in any of these, but not the boo. One time I got beat twice in Horse. She got it in the hoop more than I did. So when I got home, I got it in the hole to redeem my manliness. Take that girl. Take that. I ain’t gettin’ any letters this time!

See Also:  Too Much ... Need Rest

Not Being Able to Fit into Jeans

I really do sympathize with women on this. Shopping for jeans is an incredibly complicated and arduous process for me. As I’ve said on Twitter on numerous occasions, I got big thighs and some manly trunk junk. I’ve knocked women over in the club trying to get by them and my cheeks regularly get squeezed by them. I also find myself having to squeeze into jeans that should clearly fit. It took me 3-6 months to find a couple pair of jeans that fit me comfortably in the thighs. I end up wearing jeans with a bigger waist and have to make sure I wear a belt. Then when I sit down, the jeans sometimes come up at the bottom because of the inconvenience of my muscular lower half. It’s just an overall no-win even when I think I’m winning. Sigh.

So these are just a few of the things that make me feel insecure in some type of way…sorta. What about you? You don’t gotta bare your soul and share daddy or mommy issues, but you gotta have some simple things that make you feel some type of way? Is it getting caught without make up? Is it getting caught with a hair wrap on? Is it a surprise visit by your boo when your special place isn’t shaved? Let us know.

See Also:  I Haven't Been Fully Honest with You

Inserting Asserting My Manliness,